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A new Comic Song, called
THE OLD WIDOW. Written by Mr. Davis, and Sung by Mrs. Fildew on the W : Night of her benefit, at the Theatre, Ulverston,
December 23d. 1806. DEHOLD an Old Widow before you appear, D Who your favours to win hias tried many a
year; I've cry'd and I've laughi’d, and I've quaver'd it too, And sometimes to the fiddle, I've caper'd it's true
Fal de ral, &c. But tho' an Old Widow, 'tis not one to ten, But like a Young Virgin, I'll be courted again; And tho' no coquette, I could make it appear, I get a fresh lover, every week in the year. The force of my charms let no coxcomb decry, At my feet Mr. Tag swears for me he'll die; Nay a young Irish Captain has often been seen, My hand to solicit at dear Gretna Green. Tho' some they have call'd me their charmer and
dear, Yet by others I'm treated with rudeness severez Earl Osmond he call'd me an ugly old witch, And the Olipod Doctor left me stuck in a ditch. But this is all joking and mere masquerade, Now in my own character see me display'd ; And of lovers and beaux, tho' l've prattled away, That's all over now, for I've had my day.
Miss cries to her lover," you're rude I declare, "You're troublesome, Sir," I vow now you are, Well heaven be prais'd, from such troubles l'm free, . I'm sure no young lover will e'er trouble me. 'Tis strange how young lovers will wish away time; I declare now I wish it were added to mine; With health and good spirits, and power to please
you, "Tis only for that, that my age I'd renew. To be grateful for favour's both present and past, Shall my character be as long as I last; And to characters present may every year bring, Success and good health, and me able to Sing,
'Fal de ral, &e. ********** .
POOR KITTY THE FRUIT GIRL.
Nor feel the least alarm,
With basket on my arm;
Gold rennets fair to view,
Come, buy of Kitty, do.
Choice peaches can produce,
And grapes that's full of juce;
I ne'er with envy view,
Come, buy of Kitty, do.
My fruit to folks in life,
Lemon a scolding wife;
The grape unripe, to no one thing
Like bachelors compares,
The nonsuch British tars.
A WELSH SERMON, Said to be preached at a Funeral by a Minister of . Glangothan in Glamorganshire.
TEARLY BELOVED, I; AM come here among you to make a creat preachiment upon that dead pody. My text is the ten and twentieth chapter of Maccabees, te verse indeed I cannot now ferry well remember, but I am sure it be dere, te words be dese, Fachilate de Orate, dat is to say, Vatch and Pray: and I will stick to my · text I will warrant you.
Our creat crandfacher Adam was a fery coot man, in coot truth was he, and dwelt in Cots own house in Paradise, and a prave place I'll warrant you it was; he had efry thing provided in his hand, he did not buy so much as a noggin, piggen, or spoon, he had plenty of apple-trees, plumb-trees, peartrees, sherry-trees, cottling-trees, and all sorts of trees; but for want of coot take heed, he was fallen: ah! how was he fallen?
Why, I will tell you how he was fallen,
Our creat crandmother Eye, (a pox Cot take her for a plaguy package) must needs go a rambling and a changling from home, and coot not stay at home with her own huspand, but did rop an orchard, te Devil show't the way, (for if dere be any mischief about te Devil and Woman must have a finger in the pye,) so she came home and pursuaded her huspand to eat some of her stolen apple, it was a creat mercy, O Cot, it did not stick in her throat and choak her,
After this she prov'd with child, and was prout to pet of a fine poy, and called his name.--I cannot now fery well remember-.-- tear it was Cain aye Cain vas it : he vas d prave lad, but an unlucky rogue like his inother. And a little time after she prov'd with child again, and was brought to pet of another fine poy, and call'd his name Apel; dis vas a fery coot lat, for he did stick to part of my text, he did pray; and had he vatched too, before Cot his brother Cain had never come pehind his back and knockt out his prains.-- Dis vas a inordering villaill, so he vas obliged to over-run his country, and get him a wife in a strange land, which taught him strange tricks I will warrant you.
Thus, you see, peloved, how the sins of Roppery and Murder came upon the earth, and prout à heavy shudgment upon the world; vat you think that was?
I will tell you.
It profed those parcel of plaguy Lawyers, Attoornies, and Pum-Pailiffs, to rop the people, and keep their estates and monies all themselves.
"But after dis there came another sin upon the earth, and prout a heavier judgment upon all the world; vat you think that was ?
It was te sin of trunkenness; for Got's sake befare of trinking too much; for our crandfather Noah, had no sooner escaped a scouring in the ark, and got safe on land again, but he went to the first alehouse he could find, and there he sat trink, trink, all day and all night, and then went home trunk and abused his family.
The sin of trunkeness, my peloved, prout heavier shudgment than all the rest, and what a heavy shudgment do you think it profed ?
Why, I will tell you.
It prout dése destroying locusts, dese consuming catterpillars, those hellish vermin, those cursed Egyptian plagues, joined altogether, Exciscmen, and Custom - House Officers, to pry into efry nook, and poke for efry drop of coot irink.---Cot confound