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Saturday next, with the School for Scandal and the Quaker."..-why that's apropos enough; they have acted scandalously, and now they are quaking for fear.---(reads again) “ On Monday the l'heatre Royal, Covent Garden, will open with the Merry Wives of Windsor; or the Humours of Sir John Falstaf." --- Why that's apropos too; for they have been leaning upon a false-staff all along.-- (reads again) “ Deserted about the beginning of June last, Mr. Quick, commedian.”----deserted! why I never knew he was a Soldier. Oh; deserted from the Royalty Theatre, I suppose they mean.---/reads again) “Yesterday two gentlemen of property at the east end of the town, were forced out of Covent Garden Theatre for hissing, and carried before Sir Samson Wright, who found they were right, told them lie did not at first ford into the business, but now he was able to drive into it, he perceived a : Small--Coleman was at the bottom of it, was sorry they had been so harrassed; and quickly discharged. 'em."---Rises) I went to dine with my Lord what d'ye call um yesterday, and he took me to the race: ground to see his horse run, so he lost the first heat and won the second ; so says I, “ My lord I: give you joy." “ Joy of what ?' says he: “ Your horse is come in first at last." “ First at last, my Lord; what do you mean?" " Why he came in behind before."---I asked a friend the other day: to go along with me to see the play of Hamlet, Prince of Dunkirk. “Hamlet, Prince of Dunkirk, says he, I never heard of such a man, and I have got all the Roman Emperors in my closet at home, but I don't know any of their names that begins with an H, except it be Titus Vespasian.".. An odd accident happened in my family the other day; the Coachman and Cook quarrelled about who had travelled farthest, so in the scuffle the Cook pushed the Coachman into tlie dripping pan; " Dainn me, says the Coachman, but I have travelled farther than you, for I have been into Greece.” And so he liad, for he was all over
grease....I don't suppose there is a man happier than I am in a family; have as good a wife as a man would wish to part with, and as fine children as a man would stick a knife into.--. There's my little boy Tom, he writes two very fine hands : one he can't read himself, and the other nobody else can read for him. My boy Bill had a terrible accident happen to him the other day, in turning round the corner of a street he ran against a Lawyer, and has never been able to speak a word of truth since. My little daughter Sal is a sensable slut, she was in the kitchen the other day and her mother was taking a red hot iron out ot the fire to put into the heater, the child clapt her hand upon it, and danın me if she did not take it away without bidding; she's so sharp I don't think she can live long: she spent a week with the parson of the parish some time ago, and curse me if she did not mend his black stockings with white worsted, and sent the parson hopping to church like a magpye.... Where the devil shall I hide my money to night, my wife always searches for it? Oh! in the Bible, she never looks there, that's the best place by far, though she's very fond of the Whole duty of Man ; she's very pious, she knocks of the heels of her shoes on a Saturday night that she mayn't go to church on a Sunday.---Betty, Betty, that damn'd jade goes up stairs, forty times a day, and never comes down again, Betty, I say Betty.
WHY what's that to you if my eyes I'm a wiping's
A tear is a pleasure, d'ys see in its way; 'Tis nonsense for trifles I own to be piping,
But they that han't pity, why I pities they. Says the captain, says he, I shall never forget it
* If of courage you'd know, lads, the true from
the sham, **'Tis a furious lion in battle, so let it,
“ But, duty appeas'd, 'tis in mercy a lamb." There was bustling Bob Bounce, for the old one
not caring, Helter skelter, to work, pelt away, cut and drive, Swearing he for his part had no notion of sparing,
And as for a foe, why he'd eat him alive ; But when that he found an old prisoner he'd
wounded, That once sav'd his life as near drowning he
swam; The lion was tam'd, and with pity confounded,
He cried over him just the same as a lamb. That my friend Jack or Tom, I should rescue from
danger, Or lay my life down for each lad in the mess, Is nothing at all, 'tis the poor wounded stranger,
And the poorer the more shall I succour distress: For however their duty bold tars may delight in,
And peril defy, as a bugbear, a flam,! Though the lion may feel surly pleasure in fighting, He'll feel more by compassion, when turn'd to a
The heart and the eyes you see feel the same mo.
tion, And.if both shed their drops, 'tis all to the same
end: And thus 'tis that every tight lad of the ocean Sheds his blood for his country, his tears for his
friend. If my maxim 's disease, 'tis disease I shall die on,
You may snigger and titter, I don't care a damn! In me let the foe feel the paw of a lion,
But, the battle onge ended, the heart of a lamb. - BACHELOR'S HALL.
TO Bachelor's Hall we good fellows invite,
grace, That Diana had dubb’d some new gods of the chace,
Hark away, hark away,
Dick Thick set came mounted upon a fine black,
Hark away, hark away,
Then for hounds there was Nimble, so well that
climbs rocks, And Cocknose, a good one at scenting a fox; Little Plunge, like a mole, who with Ferret and
Search, And beetle-browed Hawk's eye so dead at a lurch: Young Sly-looks, that scents the strong breeze
from the south, And musical Echo-well with his deep mouth.
Hark away, &c. Our horses, thus all of the very best blood, 'Tis not likely you'll easily find such a stud; And for hounds our opinions with thousands we'll
That all England throughout can't produce such
a pack; Thus having described your dogs, horses, and
crew, Away, we set off, for the fox.is in view.
Hark away, &c. Sly Reynard's brought home, while the horns
sound a call, And now you're all welcome to Bachelor's Hall. The savory sir-loin grateful smokes on the board, And Bacchus pours wine from his favorite hoard; Come on then, do honour to this jovial place, And enjoy the sweet pleasures that spring from the chace.
Hark away, &e.
THE SAILOR'S JOURNAL. "TWAS past meridian half past four,
By signal I from Nancy parted; At six she linger'd on the shore,
With uplift hands and broken hearted: At seven while taught’ning the fore-stay,
I saw her faint, or else 'twas fancy!
And bade a long adieu to.Nancy.
While careless sailors ever.cheery,
With tempers labour cannot weary; I, little to their mirth inclin'd,
While tender thoughts rush'd on my fancy, · And my warm sighs increas'd the wind,
Look'd on the moon, and thought of Nancy. Next morn a storm came on at four, . At six the elements in motion,