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EPITAPH ON A TAILOR.

BENEATH's interr'd poor Simon Snip,
Who to the next world's took a trip;
He liv'd a very honest life,

Tho' now and then he bet his wife;
He cabbag'd cloth sometimes, 'tis true,
But that's no more than others do;
Death call'd upon him with his sheers,
To cut away his thread of years:
And 'spite of all Snip's wife could say,
The villain cabbag'd him away.

J. D.

RAM'S HORNS.

AS Cornus, poor soul, was provok'd by his Wife (A most termagant jade, and promoter of strife) She exhausted his patience so much that he swore, He would put her to death for one crooked word

more.

"Since you threaten me so," (was the Vixen's reply)

"I say, Ram's Horns, you dog, and will say't if I die."

TOM AND NED.

When Tom call'd in, one day on Ned
His wife was plaistering dearee's head;
Who sigh'd; but dar'd not shake it!
'Tis well Tom's pace is something slower;
For had he come an hour before,

He'd seen the vixen break it!

SONG,

SUNG AFTER A GRAND BALL AND

SUPPER AT GLASGOW.

Tune "O whistle and I'll come to you, my love!"

WHILE the banners of war through the globe are display'd,

Peace and love, those our best blessings, our bosoms prevade;

In the dance and the song we delightfully join, And plenty prevails with the juice of the vine: With wealth we are blest, and true freedom enjoy; While our fair ones, so lovely, our hearts fill with joy.

With wealth we are blest, &c.

What nation with ours in bright beauties can vie? Like the sun in full splendour, they dazzle the eye; Their minds are improved with wit, judgment, and

sense,

And their presence does ever pure pleasure dispense:

Look around in the circle, you'll certainly find, The sweetest expression with loveliness join'd.

Look around, &c.

O see from Ierne a nymph most divine,
As lovely as Hebe, admir'd as the Nine,

Blest with beauty to charm, and with wit to de. light;

Her conduct pursue, and in wedlock unite.
To Hymen's blest fane, youths and maidens repair,
And hence in love's pleasures dispel ev'ry care.
To Hymen's, &c.

Springs delight from the grape or the sports of the field,

Much greater I'm sure lovely woman will yield; She alone is the source of our hopes and our joys, From whence all our dearest enjoyments arise:

Without her all other enjoyments are vain,
And the bubble of life nought but trouble and

pain.

Without her, &c.

To ambition and power let their votaries attend,
And for glory the hero in warfare contend;
With the fair, love and friendship our time we'll
employ,

And with them, free from peril, true pleasure enjoy :

Then fill up a bumper and drink it my boys,

To the fair, whence our dearest enjoyments arise. Then fill up a bumper, &c.

ROBERT and RICHARD:

OR THE GHOST OF POOR MOLLY,

Tune- "Collin's Mulberry Tree."

QUOTH Richard to Bob, "Let things go as "they will,

"Of pleasure and fun I will still have my fill;
"In frolic and mirth I see nothing amiss,
"And tho' I get tipsy, what harm is in this?

"For ev'n Solomon says, and I vow he says truth, "Rejoice O young man, in the days of thy youth." "I'm glad," answered Bob, "you'r of Solomon's "creed,

"But I beg, if you quote him, you'll please to "proceed;

"For GOD (as the wise man continues to sing) "Thy soul into judgment for all this will bring. "Thus a man may get plung'd in a woeful abyss, "By choosing to say, Pray what harm is in this?

Come, come" says gay Richard, "don't grudge "me a cup,

"I'm resolv'd while I'm able, I'll still keep it up; "Let old greybeards deny that in frolic there's bliss, "I'll game love and drink-and what harm is in "this?"

Says Robert, "I grant if you live for today, "You may game, love, and drink, and may frolic "away;

But then my dear Dick, I again must contend, "That the Wise Man has bid us-Remember the "end!"

Says Richard, "When sickness or peevish old age "Shall advance to dismiss me from life's merry

"stage;

"Repentance just then, Boy, may not be amiss, "But while young I'll be jolly, what harm is in this ?"

They parted; and Richard his pastimes begun, 'Twas Richard the jovial, the soul of all fun : Each dancing bout, drinking bout, Dick would

attend,

And he sung and he swore, nor once thought of the end.

Young Molly he courted, the pride of the plain, He promis'd her marriage, but promis'd in vain; She trusted his vows, but she soon was undone, And when she lamented, he thought it good fun. Thus scorn'd by Richard, sad Molly run wild, And roam'd through the woods with her destitute child;

Till Molly and Molly's poor baby were found, One evening, in Richard's own mill-pond both

drown'd.

Then his conscience grew troubled by night an and by day,

But its clamour he drown'd in more drink and

more play;

Still Robert exhorted, and like a true friend
He warn'd him and pray'd him to think on the end!

Now disturb'd in his dreams, poor Molly each

night,

With her babe stood before him, how sad was the sight!

O how ghastly she look'd as she bade him attend, And so awfully told him, "Remember the end."

She talk'd of the woes and unquenchable fire, Which await the licentious, the drunkard and liar ; How he ruin'd more maidens she bade him beware, Then she wept, and she groan'd, and she vanish'd in air.

Now beggar'd by gaming, distemper'd by drink, Death star'd in his face, yet he dar'd not to think ¿ Despairing of mercy, despising all truth,

He dy'd of old age in the prime of his youth.

On his tomb-stone, good Robert, these verses engrav'd,

Which he hop'd some gay fellow might read and be sav'd.

THE EPITAPH.

HERE lies a poor youth, who call'd drinking his bliss,

And was ruin'd by saying, What harm is in this?

Let each passer by to his error attend,

And learn of poor Dick to remember the end!

THE RIOT: OR, HALF A LOAF IS BETTER THAN NO BREAD.

In a Dialogue between Jack Anvil and Tom Hod.

To the Tune of" A Cobler there was."

TOM.

COME, neighbours, no longer be patient and quiet Come let us go kick up a bit of a riot;

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