-the electric discharging-rods of her little atmospheric disturbances, while at the same time she took it ill of her husband that, though he did not, indeed, admit serving-men and maids and "the vulgar" into his own mysteries, he yet accompanied them into theirs.

Pelzstiefel, like all people who have little knowledge of the world, and are not gifted with much tact, who never assume anything as granted in the first place, but always go through every subject from the very beginning, now delivered a long, theological, matrimonial-service sort of exhortation concerning love as between Christian husband and wife, and ended by insisting on the recall of the calico-his Necker, so to say. This address irritated Firmian, and that chiefly because, irrespectively of it, his wife thought he had not any religion, or, at all events, not so much as Pelzstiefel. "I remember," said Firmian, "seeing in the history of France that Gaston, the first prince of the blood, having caused his brother some little difficulties or other of the warlike sort on one occasion, in the subsequent treaty of peace bound himself, in a special article, to love Cardinal Richelieu. Now I think there is no question but that an article to the effect that man and wife shall love one another ought to be inserted as a distinct, separate, secret clause in all contracts of marriage; for though love, like man himself, is by origin eternal and immortal, yet, thanks to the wiles of the serpent, it certainly becomes mortal enough within a short time. But, as far as the calico's concerned, let's all thank God that that apple of discord has been pitched out of the house."

Pelzstiefel, by way of offering up a sacrifice, and burning a little incense before the shrine of his beloved Lenette, insisted on the return of the calico, and did so very firmly;

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for Siebenkäs's gentle, complaisant readiness to yield to him, up to this point, in little matters of sacrifice and service, had led him to entertain the deluded idea that he possessed an irresistible authority over him. The husband, a good deal agitated now, said, "We'll drop the subject, if you please." 'Indeed, we'll do nothing of the kind," said the other; "I must really insist upon it that your wife have her dress back." "It can't be done." "I'll advance you whatever money you require," cried Pelzstiefel, in a fever of indignation at this striking and unwonted piece of disobedience. It was now, of course, more impossible than ever for the advocate to retire from his position, and he shook his head eighty times. "Either you are out of your mind," said Pelzstiefel, “or I am; just let me go through my reasons to you once more." "Advocates," said Siebenkäs, "were fortunate enough, in former times, to have private chaplains of their own; but it was found that there was no converting any of them, and therefore they are now exempt from being preached at."

Lenette wept more bitterly, and Pelzstiefel shouted the louder on that account. In his annoyance at his ill success, he thought it well to repeat his commands in a ruder and blunter form. Of course Siebenkäs resisted the more firmly. Pelzstiefel was a pedant, belonging to a class of men surpassing all others in barefaced, blind self-conceit, just like a violent wind blowing from all the points of the compass at once -for a pedant even makes an ostentatious display of his own personal idiosyncrasies. Like a careful and conscientious player, he felt it a duty to thoroughly throw himself into the part he was representing, and carry it out in all its details, and say, "Either the mourning gown comes, or I “Either_the_mourning go. My visits cannot be of much consequence, it is true,

still they have, I consider, a certain value, if it were but on your wife's account."

Firmian, doubly irritated, firstly at the imperious rudeness and conceit of an alternative of the sort, and secondly at the lowness of the market price for which the inspector threatened to abandon his society, could but say, "Nobody can influence your decision on that point now but yourself. I most certainly cannot. It will be an easy matter for you to give up our acquaintance, though there is no real reason why you should; but it will not be easy for me to give up yours, although I shall have no choice."

Pelzstiefel, from whose brow the sprouting laurels were thus so unexpectedly shorn, had nothing to do but take his leave.-" Life of Firmian Siebenkäs."

Heinrich von Kleist

Ready for the Inspector

ADAM, Village Magistrate, and LICHT, Clerk of Court.

Licht. Eh, what in the world has come over you, friend Adam? Do you know how you look?

Adam (sitting and bandaging his leg). Oh, yes. In order to stumble, all that one needs are feet, especially on this slippery floor. I slipped down here. The occasion for such a mishap each man bears in himself.

Licht. What, my friend? In himself?

Adam. Yes, in himself.

Licht. Upon my word!

Adam. What do you mean?

Licht.

You are descended from a pretty wild ancestor. He fell at the very beginning of things, and became famous through his fall. Have you, too—

Adam. I? But I tell you, here I slipped-right here.

Licht. Not metaphorically? Actually fell down?

Adam. That would be a poor enough metaphor. Yes, actually!

Licht. And how did it happen?

Adam. Just now, as I was getting out of bed. I was singing a cheerful morning song, and before I had begun my day I fell, and wrenched my foot.

Licht. The left one, to boot?

ΙΟΙ

Adam. The left one?

Licht. Yes, this one here!

Adam. To be sure!

Licht. A pity! For that foot walks the ways of sin with some difficulty at best.

Adam. That foot? With difficulty? Why?

Licht. Why, your clubfoot!

Adam. Clubfoot? Lumpfoot! One foot is as much of a lump as the other!

Licht. Pardon me. You wrong your right foot, which can hardly boast of equal size, and risks less going on slippery places.

Adam. Pshaw! Where one dares to go, the other follows too.

Licht. And what has injured your face so?

Adam. My face?

Licht. What, you do not know?

Adam. I believe you are lying! How does it look?

Licht. It's flayed most horribly. A piece of your cheek is missing, so big that it would need scales to estimate it. Adam. The devil it is!

Licht (brings a mirror). Here, convince yourself! A sheep driven by wolves, that forces its way through a hedge of thorns, leaves not more wool behind than you.

Adam. Hm, hm! You are right. It looks unlovely enough. The nose has suffered too.

Licht. And the eye.

Adam. Not the eye!