Well, I will watch, and take what heed I can. Though you do, said Satan, I shall be too hard for you; I will cool you insensibly, by degrees, by little and little. What care I, saith he, though I be seven years in chilling your heart, if I can do it at last? Continual rocking will lull a crying child asleep: I will ply it close, but I will have my end accomplished. Though you be burning hot at present, yet if I can pull you from this fire, I shall have you cold before it be long.

112. These things brought me into great straits; for as I at present could not find my self fit for present death, so I thought, to live long, would make me yet more unfit; for time would make me forget all, and wear even the remembrance of the evil of sin, the worth of Heaven, and the need I had of the blood of Christ to wash me, both out of mind and thought: But I thank Christ Jesus, these things did not at present make me slack my crying, but rather did put me more upon it (like her who met with the Adulterer, Deut. 22. 26.) in which days, that was a good word to me, after I had suffered these things a while; I am perswaded, that neither heighth, nor depth, nor death, nor life, &c. shall separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus, Rom. 8. 38. And now I hoped, long life should not destroy me, nor make me miss of Heaven.

113. Yet I had some supports in this temptation, though they were then all questioned by me. That in Jer. 3. at the first, was something to me; and so was the consideration of ver. 5. of that Chapter; that though we have spoken and done as evil things as we could, yet we should cry unto God, My Father, thou art the Guide of my Youth; and should return unto him.

114. I had also once a sweet glance from that in 2 Cor. 5. 12. For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin, that we might be made the righteousness of God in him. I remember that one day, as I was sitting in a Neighbour's house, and there very sad at the consideration of my many blasphemies; and as I was saying in my mind, What ground have I to think, that I, who have been so vile and abominable, should ever inherit eternal life? That word came suddainly upon me, What shall we say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us? Rom. 8. 31. That also was an help unto me, Because I live, you shall live also, Joh. 14. 19. But these words were but

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hints, touches, and short visits, though very sweet when present; only they lasted not; but, like to Peter's sheet, of a suddain were caught up from me, to Heaven again, Act. 10. 16.

115. But afterwards the Lord did more fully and graciously discover himself unto me; and indeed, did quite, not only deliver me from the guilt that, by these things, was laid upon my Conscience, but also from the very filth thereof; for the temptation was removed, and I was put into my right mind again, as other Christians were.

116. I remember that one day, as I was travelling into the Country, and musing on the wickedness and blasphemy of my heart, and considering of the enmity that was in me to God, that Scripture came in my mind, He hath made peace by the blood of his cross, Col. 1. 20. By which I was made to see, both again and again, that day, that God and my Soul were friends by this Blood; yea, I saw that the Justice of God, and my sinful Soul, could embrace and kiss each other through this Blood. This was a good day to me; I hope I shall not forget it.

117. At another time, as I was set by the fire, in my house, and musing on my wretchedness, the Lord made that also a precious word unto me; Forasmuch then as the children are partakers of flesh and blood, he also himself likewise took part of the same, that through death, he might destroy him that had the power of death; that is, the Devil; and deliver those who, through the fear of death, were all their life subject to bondage, Heb. 2. 14, 15. I thought that the glory of those words was then so weighty on me, that I was both once and twice ready to swoon as I sate; yet not with grief and trouble, but with solid joy and peace.

118. At this time also I sate under the Ministery of holy Mr. Gifford, whose Doctrine, by God's Grace, was much for my stability. This man made it much his business to deliver the people of God from all those false and unsound tests, that by nature we are prone to. He would bid us take special heed, that we took not up any truth upon trust; as from this, or that, or any other man or men; but to cry mightily to God, that he would convince us of the reality thereof, and set us down therein by his own Spirit, in the holy Word: For, said he, if you do otherwise, when temptations come, if strongly, you not having

received them with evidence from Heaven, will find, you want that help and strength, now to resist, that once you thought you had.

119. This was as seasonable to my Soul, as the former and latter Rain in their season; for I had found, and that by sad experience, the truth of these his words; (for I had felt, no man can say, especially when tempted of the Devil, that Jesus Christ is Lord, but by the Holy Ghost.) Wherefore I found my Soul, through Grace, very apt to drink in this Doctrine, and to incline to pray to God, that in nothing that pertained to God's Glory, and my own eternal happiness, he would suffer me to be without the confirmation thereof from Heaven; for now I saw clearly, there was an exceeding difference betwixt the notion of flesh and blood, and the Revelations of God in Heaven; also a great difference between that Faith that is feigned, and according to Man's wisdom, and of that which comes by a man's being born thereto of God, Mat. 16. 15. I Joh. 5. 1.

120. But, Oh! now, how was my Soul led from truth to truth by God! Even from the Birth and Cradle of the Son of God, to his Ascention, and second coming from Heaven, to judge the World!

121. Truly, I then found, upon this account, the great God was very good unto me; for, to my remembrance, there was not any thing that then I cried to God, to make known, and reveal unto me, but he was pleased to do it for me: I mean, not one part of the Gospel of the Lord Jesus, but I was orderly led into it: Me thought I saw with great evidence, from the relation of the four Evangelists, the wonderful work of God, in giving Jesus Christ to save us, from his conception and Birth, even to his second coming to Judgment: Me-thought I was as if I had seen him born, as if I had seen him grow up, as if I had seen him walk through this World, from the Cradle, to the Cross; to which also, when he came, I saw how gently he gave himself to be hanged, and nailed on it, for my sins, and wicked doings. Also as I was musing on this his progress, that dropped on my spirit, He was ordained for the slaughter,, I Pet. 1. 12, 20.

I22. When I have considered also the truth of his Resurrection, and have remembred that word, Touch me not, Mary, &c. I have seen, as if he had leaped out of the Grave's mouth,

for joy that he was risen again, and had got the conquest over our dreadful foes, Joh. 20. 17. I have also, in the Spirit, seen him a Man on the Right-Hand of God the Father, for me; and have seen the manner of his coming from Heaven, to judge the World with Glory, and have been confirmed in these things by these Scriptures following, Act. 1. 9, 10. & 7. 56. & 10. 42.

4. 17, 18.

Heb. 7. 24. & 8. 38. Rev. I. 18. I Thes.

123. Once I was troubled to know whether the Lord Jesus was Man as well as God, and God as well as Man; and truly, in those days, let men say what they would, unless I had it with evidence from Heaven, all was nothing to me, I counted not my self set down in any truth of God. Well, I was much troubled about this Point, and could not tell how to be resolved; at last, that in Rev. 5. came into my mind: And I beheld, and lo, in the midst of the throne, and of the four beasts, and in the midst of the elders, stood a Lamb. In the midst of the Throne, thought I, there is his Godhead; in the midst of the Elders, there is his Manhood: But Oh! me-thought this did glister! it was a goodly touch, and gave me sweet satisfaction. That other Scripture also did help me much in this, To us a Child is born, to us a Son is given, and the Government shall be upon his shoulder, and his Name shall be called Wonderful Counsellor, the mighty God, the Everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace, &c. Isa. 9. 6.

124. Also besides these teachings of God, in his Word, the Lord made use of two things to confirm me in this truth; the one was, the Errors of the Quakers; and the other was, the Guilt of Sin; for as the Quakers did oppose this Truth, so God did the more confirm me in it, by leading me into the Scriptures that did wonderfully maintain it.


125. The Errors that this people then maintained were,
I. That the holy Scriptures were not the Word of

2. That every man in the World had the Spirit of Christ, Grace, Faith, &c.

3. That Christ Jesus, as crucified, and dying sixteen hundred years ago, did not satisfie Divine Justice for the sins of his people.

4. That Christ's Flesh and Blood was within the Saints.

5. That the Bodies of the Good and Bad that are buried in the Church-yard, shall not arise again.

6. That the Resurrection is past with good men already.

7. That that Man Jesus, that was crucified between two thieves, on Mount Calvary, in the Land of Canaan, by Jerusalem, was not ascended up above the starry Heavens.

8. That he should not, even the same Jesus that died by the hand of the Jews, come again at the last day; and, as Man, judge all Nations, &c.

126. Many more vile and abominable things were in those days fomented by them, by which I was driven to a more narrow search of the Scripture, and was, through their light and testimony, not only enlightned, but greatly confirmed and comforted in the truth; and, as I said, the guilt of sin did help me much; for still as that would come upon me, the Blood of Christ did take it off again, and again, and again; and that too sweetly, according to the Scriptures. O friends! cry to God to reveal Jesus Christ unto you; there is none teacheth like him.

127. It would be too long here to stay, to tell you in particular how God did set me down in all the things of Christ, and how he did, that he might so do, lead me into his words; yea, and also how he did open them unto me, and make them shine before me, and cause them to dwell with me, talk with me, and comfort me over and over, both of his own Being, and the Being of his Son, and Spirit, and Word, and Gospel.

128. Only this, as I said before, I will say unto you again, that in general, he was pleased to take this course with me: first to suffer me to be afflicted with temptation concerning them, and then reveal them to me: As sometimes I should lie under great guilt for sin, even crushed to the ground therewith; and then the Lord would shew me the death of Christ; yea, and so sprinkle my Conscience with his Blood, that I should find, and that before I was aware, that in that Conscience, where but just now did reign and rage the Law, even there would rest and abide the peace and love of God, through Christ.

129. Now I had an evidence, as I thought, of my Salvation from Heaven, with many golden Seals thereon, all hanging in my sight Now could I remember this manifestation, and the other discovery of Grace, with comfort; and should often long

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