The making the child think humbly of himself, when the care and training of him up is a matter of such primary importance to the parents, is a nice point to manage, and requires all the zeal of an affectionate mother to accomplish. Let such a mother not despond, however; she may and shall attain her object, if she only persevere steadily, aided by good sense, and command over herself. Distinguished abilities or great talents are not requisite, happily, for the management and good training of infancy and childhood. Very ordinary capacities, common sense, zeal, firmness, patience, and unwearied activity, with some general knowledge on the works of art and nature, and a great deal of good principle and unaffected piety, are the only qualifications absolutely necessary to make the best mother in the world, and to secure, if any thing can secure, the foundation of the best education that ever man was blessed with. Thus it will appear that, of all the learning and acquirements of the present age, none but that of reading is immediately useful to the mother of a little child; and as it is of no consequence whether the child read or not till five or six years have passed him, even this humblest of acquirements is only so far of utility, as the mother may have profited by it to lay up a store of informa tion, which she may deal out in small parcels to her beloved pupil, scholar, and child, as opportunity offers. 174 CHAPTER XXIV. MODESTY. "AS A CAGE FULL OF BIRDS, SO ARE THEIR HOUSES FULL OF A CHILD requires daily, hourly care and attention. Custom will make him consider this a thing of course. But that he may not grow arrogant, supercilious, and haughty from this consideration, a prudent mother will qualify her attentions so as to give a counter impression. I never would allow any thing to a child who would not say, "if you please;" "thank you;" and use other forms of civility, without which man is worse than uncivilized. If a child is not taught to say he is obliged, he never will think he is so; and if his heart be not opened to obligation towards man, who can say that it will not be shut towards God? Besides, these forms are a test of obedience. A little one often rebels on being told to say, "thank you," or other such sentence; especially, we may remark, if it be to a servant, or, as he thinks, an inferior. The feeling which induces a hesitation ought to have no place in a child's breast. He must be made to submit, and, if it so be, to condescend. At meals the youngest child should be served the last, to teach him 66 what is due to his age. If grown persons are taking their meals at the same table, I should always recommend the attending to the children the last; with this observation to them: "You know you are very little; those who are older must be helped before you," The good old custom of making children sit still, and not teaze for any thing before them, would be revived with great benefit in these times, when, if there are any little ones admitted to our tables, their forward and pert manners, their greedy longings, and incessant remarks of " Mamma, I don't like this; mamma, may I have that?" make them a perfect nuisance. Should a mother ever have to say to her little darling, when she takes the liberty of setting him at the table with two or three friends, " My dear, you must not be helped before this or that lady or gentleman; a little child should wait?" No, the lesson ought to be known before that day, and company or no company should make no difference, in the sense of inferiority which a child ought to have when associated with his elders. This doctrine may seem harsh in a proud age, an age when years are not respected, and a hoary head has no claim to veneration from the young; when infants are taught the airs of affected maturity, and childhood argues over a question of simple duty with a parent, whose word should be to him as law; when impertinent forwardness is called infantine art,. and a slight glitter of accomplishment, which is wholly useless to a little child, is extolled before him as though it were an act of virtue or the wisdom of sages.* But Much as our children depart from simplicity, they are far exceeded by those of a neighbouring nation. The fine lady airs of a let the parent who here scans this page in displeasure only consider, whether the youth of all times have not been virtuous and worthy in proportion as they have been taught to revere their elders, and to listen to the lessons of experience with deference; and whether workings of genuine modesty and true diffidence on ingenuous features be not a strong appeal to the indulgence of strangers, and a cementing tie when esteem has begun to kindle into regard? But this virtue, like others, may be pushed to extremes, when, instead of an engaging and prepossessing modesty, and an unfeigned, well-principled humility, we only see a wild and fearful bashfulness, which produces a spurious kind of shame, which only belongs to guilt. Thus the well born youth not only disgusts by awkwardness, which we do not expect to find in one of his rank in life, but he leaves us to suppose, from his confusion and trepidation, that conscience will not bear him out in his commerce with the world. He stands self-condemned before he has even learned what crime is; and his friendship is unsolicited, because it seems to be inadequate to repay the trouble of seeking it. Children should be made humble and modest, but all absurd bashfulness should be discouraged with firmness: not by laughter, as is too 66 little Parisian child are truly comie. Sitting, walking, standing, dancing for essaying to do so), the little creature seems to be studying les grâces." And even the very little flower girls in the streets seem adepts in the language and manners of affectation. Surprise is the first emotion one has on noticing this total absence of simplicity, pity follows, and then a feeling less pleasing, at manners so unnatural, often attempted; and they should be taught to look up with confidence in a person's face whenever they are speaking. They should never be suffered to hide their heads, or run away, when they are spoken to by a stranger and are expected to reply; the discovering of shame, they should be told, will be considered as a proof of their having been naughty. The other attribute of modesty is Purity, which includes decorum, self-respect, neatness and order. Purity of mind has been touched upon in the consideration of innocence: we have now to regard that of the person. Thompson says:- .... "From the body's purity, the mind Receives a secret aid."...... If this be true, and few will doubt it, the necessity, which it were needless to insist on, will be apparent for the maintaining a neatness in dress, and a nicety of person in children. But by this remark it is not intended that they should be deprived of exercise and amusement in gardens or fields, lest they should soil their clothes: far from it. Their clothes may be splashed or spotted, but, if they are not ridiculously fine, this will signify little. What is fairly soiled in the course of duty, or is accidentally torn in that of rational amusement, may be excused without a comment; but wilful injury, be it ever so small, to clothes, or indeed to any thing animate or inanimate discovers a mischievous turn of thought and inclination, and should be immediately checked. Children are long enough helpless during infancy: let us make them useful to themselves and others as soon as effort is possible to them; the doing so will |