"doin' nothink but set theer like a bloomin' image." Then she combined the ideas.

To this I would add a delightful blend from a pupil teacher examination :

When the Israelites had gone God told Noah to go out into the city and tell all the Israelites that if King Pharoah did not let the people go he would drown the world. And it came to pass, when God did drown the world, and all the beasts and every living creature in it. During the flood God told Noah to build an ark and it was to float on top of the water. and his family and with the two tables of stone :

In it save Noah

&c., &c.

CHAPTER XXIII

REPORTS.

"All my reports go with the modest truth,
Nor more, nor clipp'd, but so.”—King Lear.

THE annual inspection of a school ended in a Report. When the papers had been marked, and the Examination Schedules had been made up, it was time to search one's note-book, and to rack the memory for facts, and therefrom to construct a report to Their Lordships, to be communicated to the managers, and by them to the

teachers.

In the earlier days of inspection this was a comparatively simple affair: the really important matter was the number of children who had passed or failed in the examination. Upon this, unless there was conspicuous weakness, the greater part of the grant depended, and it was easy to fill up the forms with commonplace criticisms and suggestions. From 1876 to the middle of the 'nineties the pressure increased, until at last reporting became a serious strain on memory, judgment, and conscience; for there was a variable grant for half a dozen subjects, culminating in a variable grant for the general "merit" of the whole school and each item required some thought. New code after new code relaxed the

strain, until inspection arrived at the present effete condition, when the grant is fixed, and the criticisms of H.M.I. are like the bite of a midge; annoying for the moment, but transitory in effect.

From one corner of my old domain comes a mimic bluebook, containing all the school reports for the past year. There are something less than fifty schools, with, I daresay, one hundred departments, each requiring a separate report. And here they are collected; and I look at them with some dismay. Of course I did not write all of them, but I edited all, and I am answerable for all. Some are strongly worded, for, if one does not shout pretty loud to a deaf man, one is not heard. Yet one does not want one's shouts phonographed. How do the managers and teachers like the reports in print, scattered broadcast?

I search my memory for any parallel publication. The nearest that I can discover is a Cricket Directory, which I saw perhaps forty years ago: I quote from memory fertilized by imagination :

A. B. is a promising run-getter, but he too often forgets that a straight bat is a rudimentary necessity: his fielding is improving: as a bowler he has not been successful this year: his average is

X.

C. D. bowled x overs for y runs last season, and took z wickets this is his best record so far, and makes him a valuable acquisition to a county team. As a batsman he has still much to learn his average last year was z.

These are complimentary compared with some of the school reports that lie on my table. But when I read them, or rather their prototypes, in that remote period, I was sorry for A. B. and C. D. Yet the writers were sub

ject to the law of libel, and H.M.I., if not malicious, is privileged.

"Others abide our question: thou art free,"

the Law Courts may say. Stern critics sit in Whitehall and weed out all that seems perilous: when the sieve has done its duty there is little left for the lawyers.

I meditate on the extension of the expression of free opinion. How would it work on Sundays? The preacher has a pulpit, and in that inviolable recess has a free tongue for half an hour, with a merciful leaning towards twenty minutes. The organist is a greater

libertine. The architect and builder ill-use us, and for the most part we suffer silently. Would the bench of bishops send me about the country to report on church services, and to recommend deductions from the incomes of the incompetent? Of course one would begin with cathedrals and proceed with more lenient rule to parish churches. Probably at least one inspector would be required in each diocese, and as these officials, like school inspectors, would be men of diverse minds, it would be the most racy Bluebook of the year that reproduced their varied views. Let us make some samples :

NORCHESTER CATHEDRAL.

Mendelssohn Brown.

Visited on April 1 by Mr.

The

The condition of this cathedral is far from satisfactory. singing, which is the main object of interest to the greater part of the congregation, is even worse than at last year's inspection. Of the eight men several should be contemplating acceptance of a retiring pension. The boys are ill-behaved, and their musical capacity is on a level with their behaviour: in the Psalms there was no verse in which they did not make one or more mistakes. The Services were ill-chosen and incorrectly rendered: the Anthem was a pretentious failure. The merely literary part of

the service was satisfactory, but it is not desirable to attach too much importance to these rudiments.

REMARKS: My Lords will require a more favourable report on the singing as a condition of an unreduced grant.

WESTCHESTER CATHEDRAL. Visited on March 7 by Mr. Simeon Jones.

It is gratifying to be able to report well of the musical part of the service: the organ playing was distinctly good, and the singing often reached a high level of excellence. It should, however, be borne in mind that congregational worship is the primary consideration, and special attention should be paid to this feature in the coming year. The Canon in Residence would do well to attend an elocution class at a Continuation school in the winter season: it was with the utmost difficulty that the Lessons were heard, and even in the 16th chapter of Romans four mistakes in the Salutations is 33.3 per cent. above the average for all England. The Dean's sermon was for the most part inaudible: this is probably not to be regretted from a doctrinal point of view, but the waste of time is a serious consideration.

REMARKS: Special attention should be paid to the Inspector's warning.

SUDCHESTER CATHEDRAL: Visited on Nov. 10 by Mr. Hodge. The service was very creditably conducted and well attended. It is unfortunate that the collections continue so small. The premises need attention: the choir is dark, and the walls need cleaning. It might be advisable to remove the 15th century stained glass from the East window and to substitute clear glass. If the walls were whitewashed (two coats) there would be less danger from germs. The health and comfort of the congregation should not be sacrificed to merely æsthetic considerations.

REMARKS: I am to request that the Dean and Chapter will submit plans and estimates of the work recommended by their Lordships' Inspector as soon as possible.

EASTCHESTER CATHEDRAL: Visited on Dec. 15 by Mr. Crankie Robinson.