But the most strenuous measure resorted to on this awful occasion, and one which has since been found of wonderful efficacy, was to assemble popular meetings. These brawling convocations, I have already shown, were extremely offensive to Peter Stuyvesant; but as this was a moment of unusual agitation, and as the old governor was not present to repress them, they broke out with intolerable violence. Hither, therefore, the orators and politicians repaired, and there seemed to be a competition among them who should bawl the loudest, and exceed the others in hyperbolical bursts of patriotism, and in resolutions to uphold and defend the government. In these sage and all powerful meetings it was determined, nem. con. that they were the most enlightened, the most dignified, the most formidable, and the most ancient community upon the face of the earth. Finding that this resolution was so universally and readily carried, another was immediately proposed,-Whether it were not possible and politic to exterminate Great Britain? Upon which sixty-nine members spoke most eloquently in the affirmative, and only one arose to suggest some doubts, who, as a punishment for his treasonable presumption, was immediately seized by the mob, and tarred and feathered; which punishment being equivalent to the Tarpeian Rock, he was afterwards considered as an outcast from society, and his opinion went for nothing. The question, therefore, being unanimously carried in the affirmative, it was recommended to the grand council to pass it into a law, which was accordingly done; by this measure the hearts of the people at large were wonderfully encouraged, and they waxed exceeding choleric and valorous. Indeed, the first paroxysm of alarm having in some measure subsided, the old women having buried all the money they could lay their hands on, and their husbands daily getting fuddled with what was left-the community began even to stand on the offensive. Songs were manufactured in

low Dutch, and sung about the streets, wherein the English were most wofully beaten, and shown no quarter; and popular addresses were made, wherein it was proved to a certainty, that the fate of Old England depended upon the will of the New-Amsterdammers.

Finally, to strike a violent blow at the very vitals of Great Britain, a multitude of the wiser inhabitants assembled, and having purchased all the British manufactures they could find, they made thereof a huge bonfire; and, in the patriotic glow of the moment, every man present, who had a hat or breeches of English workmanship, pulled it off, and threw it most undauntedly into the flames -to the irreparable detriment, loss, and ruin of the English manufacturers. In commemoration of this great exploit, they erected a pole on the spot, with a device on the top intended to represent the province of Nieuw Nederlandts destroying Great Britain, under the similitude of an Eagle picking the little Island of Old England out of the globe; but either through the unskilfulness of the sculptor, or his ill timed waggery, it bore a striking resemblance to a goose vainly striving to get hold of a dumpling.

CHAP. V.

Showing how the Grand Council of the New-Netherlands came to be miraculously gifted with long Tongues. Together with a great Triumph of Economy.

It will need but very little penetration in any one acquainted with the character and habits of that most potent and blustering monarch the sovereign people-to discover that, notwithstanding all the bustle and talk of war that stunned him in the last chapter, the renowned city of New-Amsterdam is, in sad reality, not a whit better prepared for defence than before. Now, though the peo

ple, having gotten over the first alarm, and finding no enemy immediately at hand, had, with that valour of tongue, for which your illustrious rabble is so famous, run into the opposite extreme, and, by dint of gallant vapouring and rhodomontado, had actually talked themselves into the opinion, that they were the bravest and most powerful people under the sun; yet were the privy counsellors of Peter Stuyvesant somewhat dubious on that point. They dreaded, moreover, lest that stern hero should return and find that, instead of obeying his peremptory orders, they had wasted their time in listening to the hectorings of the mob, than which they well knew there was nothing he held in more exalted contempt.

To make up therefore as speedily as possible for lost time, a grand divan of the counsellors and burgomasters was convened, to talk over the critical state of the province, and devise measures for its safety. Two things were unanimously agreed upon in this venerable assembly first, that the city required to be put in a state of defence and, secondly, that as the danger was imminent, there should be no time lost-which points being settled, they immediately fell to making long speeches, and belabouring one another in endless and intemperate disputes. For about this time was this unhappy city first visited by that talking endemic, so universally prevalent in this country, and which so invariably evinces itself, wherever a number of wise men assemble together; breaking out in long windy speeches, caused, as physicians suppose, by the foul air which is ever generated in a crowd. Now it was, moreover, that they first introduced the ingenious method of measuring the merits of an harangue by the hourglass; he being considered the ablest orator who spoke longest on a question--for which excellent invention, it is recorded, we are indebted to the same profound Dutch critic who judged of books by their size.

This sudden passion for endless harangues, so little

consonant with the customary gravity and taciturnity of our sage forefathers, was supposed by certain learned philosophers to have been imbibed, together with divers other barbarous propensities, from their savage neighbours; who were peculiarly noted for their long talks and council fires; who would never undertake any affair of the least importance, without previous debates and harangues among their chiefs and old men. But the real cause was, that the people, in electing their representatives to the grand council, were particular in choosing them for their talents at talking, without inquiring whether they possessed the more rare, difficult, and oft times important talent of holding their tongues. The consequence was, that this deliberative body was composed of the most loquacious men in the community. As they considered themselves placed there to talk, every man concluded that his duty to his constituents, and, what is more, his popularity with them required that he should harangue on every subject, whether he understood it or not. There was an ancient mode of burying a chieftain, by every soldier throwing his shield full of earth on the corpse until a mighty mound was formed; so whenever a question was brought forward in this assembly, every member pressing forward to throw on his quantum of wisdom, the subject was quickly buried under a huge mass of words.

We are told in the Attic nights of Aulus Gellius, that when disciples were admitted into the school of Pythagoras, they were for two years enjoined silence, and were neither permitted to ask questions nor make remarks. After they had thus acquired the inestimable art of holding their tongues, they were gradually permitted to make inquiries, and finally to communicate their own opinions.

What a pity is it, that while superstitiously hoarding up the rubbish and rags of antiquity, we should suffer these precious gems to lie unnoticed. What a beneficial effect would this wise regulation of Pythagoras have, if

introduced in legislative bodies-and how wonderfully would it have tended to expedite business in the grand council of the Manhattoes.

Thus, however, did dame Wisdom (whom the wags of antiquity have humorously personified as a woman) seem to take mischievous pleasure in jilting the venerable counsellors of New-Amsterdam. The old factions of long pipes and short pipes, which had been almost strangled by the Herculean grasp of Peter Stuyvesant, now sprung up with tenfold violence. Not that the original cause of difference still existed, but it has ever been the fate of party names and party rancour to remain long after the principles that gave rise to them have been forgotten. To complete the public confusion and bewilderment, the fatal word Economy, which one would have thought was dead and buried with William the Testy, was once more set afloat, like the apple of discord, in the grand council of Nieuw Nederlandts-according to which sound principle of policy, it was deemed more expedient to throw away twenty thousand guilders upon an inefficient plan of defence, than thirty thousand on a good and substantial one, the province thus making a clear saving of ten thousand guilders.

But when they came to discuss the mode of defence, then began a war of words that baffles all description. The members being, as I observed, enlisted in opposite parties, were enabled to proceed with amazing system and regularity in the discussion of the questions before them. Whatever was proposed by a long pipe, was opposed by the whole tribe of short pipes, who, like true politicians, considered it their first duty to effect the downfal of the long pipes-their second, to elevate themselves; and their third, to consult the welfare of the country. This at least was the creed of the most upright among the party; for as to the great mass, they left the third consideration out of the question altogether.