remove me, I should surely starve; for I could not make any thing to suit that people. Nay, I even thought myself insufficient to engage in any business there, any longer. And by due observation of the Lord's way of leading me, I have generally found that before he has removed me from any thing, he has first sickened my mind of it, so that it has become quite a burden to me.

CHAPTER IV.

Extending from her return to New York until her removal to Poughkeepsie.

Now as Jacob returned from Padanaram to visit his father's family in the land of Canaan, so was I brought to New York, and to visit that affectionate friend, whom I have before mentioned, and to whom my heart was knit as the soul of Jonathan to the soul of David; for I loved her as my own soul. My heart was enlivened and inspired with a pleasing admiration, and a most lively sense of gratitude to the author of all my mercies, who had brought me to appear in the courts of the Lord's house; for I could say with the Psalmist, As the heart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God.' My soul thirsted for the courts of the Lord, that I might come and appear before him, and be fed under that precious servant of Christ, Doctor Livingston, whom the Lord had made the instrument of building me up in faith. Oh! what an unspeakable privilege to sit under a sound, orthodox, and soulsearching ministry!

We too frequently walk over the promises as barren ground, but the more we converse with them, the more confidence we shall put in them. This was the case with the promise the Lord had given me in regard to my house. For the very day I arrived in New York, there was a person arrested and carried to prison, which obliged him to give up his house. This house I forthwith took and occupied; and I may say it was the very house the Lord had provided for me. It was a good stand for business, and nearly opposite to the very house where I had before lived, and in the presence of my enemies.

Now my patience was severely tried again; for my things which I had shipped in Baltimore, I did not receive until near two months after my arrival in New York; and it was thought, as there had been many storms and contrary winds, that they were lost. But here my blessed God did not suffer my faith to fail me; for I could not believe that my God had saved them out of the fire to sink them in the water; and so it proved; for when my patience had been sufficiently tried, my things arrived. Oh! how satisfactory to find that he, on whom we rely, can help in all times of need, and in all kinds of difficulties. But there was another dark cloud that gathered, and my faith was tried in the tenderest part, and to the very life of it.

As before mentioned, my husband was gone to the

Northward, and had been away five or six months. But the very morning that I opened my store, I received news from several persons that he had intelligence of my coming to live in New York; that he was coming down to make sale of my goods, for he was determined I should not live and prosper in this city; and boasted that I was his wife, and that he had full power over me. This indeed was a keen trial, and almost too severe for flesh and blood to bear up under; as there was a complication of aggravating circumstances attending the matter, which almost sunk my heart in the grave of despair, as to my ever seeing the promise of my God fulfilled, that I should have the neck of my enemies. This, indeed, was

darkness; I could see no light.

There was a death

upon the promise, though not in the promise. This dark cloud made me cry earnestly to the Lord not to let me fall a prey, nor suffer me to fall into his hands.

Here the Providences were so dark, and my poor heart so environed with fear, and pressed down with sorrow, because he had covered the promise with a Providential frown which I could not see through, that I was ready to say, 'All these things are against me.' But ought I not to have considered that the Judge of all the earth could not but do that which is right; and under such circumstances submitted my poor, frail, fallible understanding to the decisions of infinite, unerring wisdom, and adore what I could not

comprehend? But even here, whilst I was travelling this thorny maze, my soul drew consolation from that inexhaustible fountain, the word of God. The account of Balak sending Balaam to curse the people was constantly on my mind, and particularly these words, 'How shall I curse, whom God hath not cursed? And how shall I defy, whom the Lord hath not defied?' And also these words, Behold, I have received commandment to bless, and I cannot reverse it.' And exactly so it proved; for when he arrived in New York, he was in a situation too delicate to mention, which compelled him to come forward, and according to law, give up all right and title to me as a wife.

But even here I had many difficulties and trials too tedious to mention; but when the Providences are most dark, our sorrows great, our necessities most pressing, and all our comforts fail, then the hand of God is nigh. Our deepest extremity is the season of his opportunity. Though my husband came down to curse me, behold, he blessed me altogether; and, like Balaam, he had no power to do otherwise than as the Lord gave him commandment. The grand design of God, in permitting difficulties to exercise and try his children, is to take the opportunity of glorifying his wisdom, in their deliverance. Though the cloud was dark, the trial heavy, and the danger great, yet I was enabled to lay my cause before my covenant God,