"Behold your Idol now!

From him you love too much, proceed
Your sharpest grief and pain;

For soon or late the heart must bleed,

That Idols entertain."

This was indeed an humbling lesson to me; for it showed me the depths of the depravity of my corrupted heart, and that nothing but Almighty grace could keep me from the same sins that he had fallen into. One morning I was particularly drawn out in opening my mind to the Lord; telling him all my grievances, and was asking of God to give me faith to believe in him. Then were these words impressed upon my mind, 'The trial of your faith is more precious than of gold.' It was the Lord's will to try me in this path for two years; looking up to him, day by day, for fresh strength. As my trials were new every day, so I found by experience that the strength of one day did not serve for the trials of another. At length my burden became so heavy that it raised a strong cry in my heart for deliverance; and the Lord gave me faith to believe that I surely should have it; but that it should be by the loss of all my worldly substance. Oh! this was a dagger to my heart; for my household furniture lay very near to me; but even this, the Lord so weaned me from, that I could take joyfully the spoiling of my goods, which I saw every day wasting by his dissipation,

It was now the will of my Heavenly Father to lift up his hand and smite our city with the pestilence. This was a new trial to me, and added to the weight of the others; because on former occasions, when our city was visited with this judgment, I always found my husband willing to remove out of it, till the Lord in mercy had stayed his hand. But at this time, he seemed determined to stay and visit the sick, because he knew I was naturally afraid of this epidemic. I begged of him, using all the force of persuasion that I was capable of, but to no purpose. Then I committed it to the Lord, who had afforded such astonishing proofs of his hearing and answering my prayers, and begged of him that he would soften his heart, and incline him to comply with my request; and also that he would point out the place to which we should go. Now it was impressed on my mind, 'Go to Hudson.' Deliverance sometimes comes slowly, but here the condescension of my God granted a speedy answer to my petition; for my husband came to me and asked me where I would like to go; I told him, to Hudson; but he declared he would not go there, because there were some religious persons there that knew him. I told him I was willing to go wherever he thought proper. He then went to engage passage on board of an Albany vessel; but by mistake he engaged passage on board of a Hudson vessel, which we did not know till after we had sailed. This

was great encouragement to me, for I saw the hand of God remarkably in it; but what was to be brought out of it I could not tell. When we arrived at Hudson, there was not a house that we could obtain, but were obliged to take part of one with one of those religious friends that my husband so much feared. This was very pleasing to me, and led me to set up my Ebenezer, and say, 'Hitherto hath the Lord helped me.'. Now, about this time, my mind became remarkably quiet and serene. I was enabled to cast myself on the Lord Jesus Christ, and resign myself into his hands, who doeth all things well; for I had not the least doubt but he had wise ends in view, in thus afflicting me. I was led also to view the humbling doctrines of sovereign grace and divine predestination, and the divine purposes in general; that the counsel of the Lord shall stand; that he is of one mind and none can turn him; that I was a favourite object of distinguishing love, as well as a monument of his sparing mercy; and that as from eternity he viewed my final state, so also he foresaw every step of the path that he had marked out for me.

But this passage still visited me, 'Wait on the Lord, for I will deliver your feet out of the net ;' and also, that my latter end should be better than my beginning.' Now the Lord strengthened my faith to believe that deliverance was very near. It is an old sin of mine to run before the Lord; but my Father

was beforehand with me at this time, as I shall show. About this time, business called me farther to the North, to collect some money that was due. It was impressed on my mind that the Lord was at hand, and that all things were not right at home; and so I found it. For when I returned home, I learned that my husband had made a public example of himself, and that his conduct justified me before God and man, in refusing to live with him any longer. This was a bitter cup my Father gave me to drink, and it brought to my mind the Providence of God in bringing us to Hudson. From this time, I was dertermined never to live with him as a husband; and he was determined to return home, and make sale of every thing, and turn me out without a shilling. I cannot describe the sensations I then felt. But his treatment of me was such, that I even loathed and abhorred him. Whilst I was meditating on my condition, it was impressed my mind, that when the children of Israel came out of Egypt, they did not come out empty, but that they took with them of the labour of their hands. Then several friends came to persuade me to return home, and secure all that I could; as it was well known that my substance was the fruit of my own labour. This, however, afforded me but little comfort, for my trials had become so weighty that they crushed me to the earth. I sighed and groaned under the pressure of them, being in the deepest distress and

on

embarrassment.

In this state of mind I returned home, and a most trying passage I had of it, on account of the very infamous conduct of my husband. I, at this time, expected letters from my friends, on whom I had made my dependance for my future subsistence. As I expected money, or a provision to be made for my return to London, and as he had intercepted my letters for some months past, and I was confident he was determined to get those that were still expected. I cannot describe how I cried to the Lord in the anguish of my soul, to save them out of his hands. Then was this scripture given me, 'Believe and thou shalt be saved.' Oh! what encouragement was this to hope against hope, even when death sat upon the life of the second cause.

Now the Lord had given me a promise, that he would bring me out of Egypt; but the way was beset with so many difficulties and discouragements, that I could not see which way my Lord would work. But reflecting how, in times past, he delivered me with his mighty power and stretched out arm, and that I had never trusted him in vain. I was enabled to cast myself at his feet, and hope in his mercy. When I arrived at home, my first enquiry was about my letters; and found that my husband had gotten them. Then did my heart sink as a stone within me, not being able to reconcile the event with the promise. But while I was musing on the darkness of