Fal. Mistress Ford! I have had ford enough; I was thrown into the ford; I have my belly full of ford.

Quick. Alas the day! good heart, that was not her fault : she does so take on with her men; they mistook their erection.

Fal. So did I mine, to build upon a foolish woman's promise.

3

Quick. Well, she laments, sir, for it, that it would yearn your heart to see it. Her husband goes this morning a-birding; she desires you once more to come to her between eight and nine: I must carry her word quickly: she'll make you amends, I warrant you.

Fal. Well, I will visit her: tell her so; and bid her think what a man is let her consider his frailty, and then judge of my merit.

Quick. I will tell her.

Fal. Do so. Between nine and ten, say'st thou?

Quick. Eight and nine, sir.

Fal. Well, be gone: I will not miss her.

Quick. Peace be with you, sir.

[Exit.

Fal. I marvel I hear not of Master Brook; he sent me word to stay within: I like his money well. O, here he

comes.

Enter FORD disguised.

Ford. Bless you, sir!

Fal. Now, Master Brook,—you come to know what hath pass'd between me and Ford's wife?

Ford. That, indeed, Sir John, is my business.

Fal. Master Brook, I will not lie to you: I was at her house the hour she appointed me.

Ford. And how sped you, sir?

3 To yearn was to vex, grieve, or distress, a sense of the word now obsolete.

Fal. Very ill-favouredly, Master Brook.

Ford. How so, sir? Did she change her determination? Fal. No, Master Brook; but the peaking cornuto her husband, Master Brook, dwelling in a continual 'larum of jealousy, comes me in the instant of our encounter, after we had embraced, kiss'd, protested, and, as it were, spoke the prologue of our comedy; and at his heels a rabble of his companions, thither provoked and instigated by his distemper, and, forsooth, to search his house for his wife's love.

Ford. What, while you were there?

Fal. While I was there.

Ford. And did he search for you, and could not find you? Fal. You shall hear. As good luck would have it, comes in one Mistress Page; gives intelligence of Ford's approach; and, by her invention and Ford's wife's direction, they convey'd me into a buck-basket.

Ford. A buck-basket!

Fal. By the Lord, a buck-basket! ramm'd me in with foul shirts and smocks, socks, foul stockings, greasy napkins; that, Master Brook, there was the rankest compound of villainous smell that ever offended nostril.

Ford. And how long lay you there?

Fal. Nay, you shall hear, Master Brook, what I have suffer'd to bring this woman to evil for your good. Being thus cramm'd in the basket, a couple of Ford's knaves, his hinds, were call'd forth by their mistress to carry me in the name of foul clothes to Datchet-lane: they took me on their shoulders; met the jealous knave their master in the door, who ask'd them once or twice what they had in their bas

4 A peaking cornuto is a moping or sneaking cuckold; cornute or cornuto meaning horned. The imputing of ideal horns to a man thus abused runs far back in Greek and Roman usage, and, I believe, has never been delved to the root. See vol. ii., page 47, note 11.

6

ket: I quaked for fear, lest the lunatic knave would have search'd it; but fate, ordaining he should be a cuckold, held his hand. Well; on went he for a search, and away went I for foul clothes. But mark the sequel, Master Brook: I suffered the pangs of three several deaths; first, an intolerable fright, to be detected with a jealous rotten bell-wether; next, to be compass'd, like a good bilbo, in the circumference of a peck, hilt to point, heel to head; and then, to be stopp'd in, like a strong distillation, with stinking clothes that fretted in their own grease: think of that,- —a man of my kidney, -think of that,—that am as subject to heat as butter; a man of continual dissolution and thaw it was a miracle to 'scape suffocation. And in the height of this bath, when I was more than half stew'd in grease, like a Dutch dish, to be thrown into the Thames, and cool'd, glowing hot, in that surge, like a horse-shoe; think of that,— hissing hot,-think of that, Master Brook.

Ford. In good sadness, sir, I am sorry that for my sake you have suffer'd all this. My suit, then, is desperate; you'll undertake her no more?

Fal. Master Brook, I will be thrown into Etna, as I have been into Thames, ere I will leave her thus. Her husband is this morning gone a-birding: I have received from her another embassy of meeting; 'twixt eight and nine is the hour, Master Brook.

5 Would for should; the auxiliaries could, should, and would, being, as I have noted before, used interchangeably in the Poet's time.

6 An instance of with where present usage requires by. So in Antony's speech, Julius Cæsar, iii. 2: Here is himself marr'd, as you see, with traitors." To denote the agent of an action, with a passive verb, by, of, and with were used indifferently, in the Poet's time, but of most commonly used. So in the English Bible passim.

7 One great boast of the sword-blades made at Bilboa was, that they could be bent till point and hilt met together, without damage. See page

13, note 20.

Ford. 'Tis past eight already, sir.

Fal. Is it? I will then address 8 me to my appointment. Come to me at your convenient leisure, and you shall know how I speed; and the conclusion shall be crowned with your enjoying her. Adieu. You shall have her, Master Brook; Master Brook, you shall cuckold Ford. [Exit.

Ford. Hum,-ha! is this a vision? is this a dream? do I sleep? Master Ford, awake! awake, Master Ford! there's a hole made in your best coat, Master Ford. This 'tis to be married! this 'tis to have linen and buck-baskets! Well, I will proclaim myself what I am: I will now take the lecher; he is at my house; he cannot 'scape me; 'tis impossible he should; he cannot creep into a halfpenny purse, nor into a pepper-box: but, lest the devil that guides him should aid him, I will search impossible places. Though what I am I cannot avoid, yet to be what I would not shall not make me tame if I have horns to make me mad, let the proverb go with me, - I'll be horn-mad. [Exit.

Enter Mistress PAGE, Mistress QUICKLY, and WILLIAM.

Mrs. Page. Is he at Master Ford's already, think'st thou? Quick. Sure he is by this, or will be presently: but, truly, he is very courageous 1 mad about his throwing into the water. Mistress Ford desires you to come suddenly.

Mrs. Page. I'll be with her by-and-by; I'll but bring my

8 To address is, in old English, to make ready or prepare.
1 Courageous is a Quicklyism for outrageous, probably.

young man here to school. Look, where his master comes : 'tis a playing-day, I see.

Enter Sir HUGH EVANS.

How now, Sir Hugh! no school to-day?

Evans. No; Master Slender is get the boys leave to play. Quick. Blessing of his heart!

Mrs. Page. Sir Hugh, my husband says my son profits. nothing in the world at his book. I pray you, ask him some questions in his accidence.

Evans. Come hither, William; hold up your head; come. Mrs. Page. Come on, sirrah; hold up your head; answer your master, be not afraid.

Evans. William, how many numbers is in nouns?
Will. Two.

Quick. Truly, I thought there had been one number more, because they say, 'Od's-nouns.

Evans. Peace your tattlings. What is fair, William? Will. Pulcher.

Quick. Polecats! there are fairer things than polecats, sure. Evans. You are a very simplicity 'oman: I pray you, What is lapis, William?

peace.

Will. A stone.

Evans. And what is a stone, William?

Will. A pebble.

Evans. No, it is lapis: I pray you, remember in your prain.

Will. Lapis.

Evans. That is a good William. What is he, William,

that does lend articles?

Will. Articles are borrowed of the pronoun, and be thus declined, Singulariter, nominativo, hic, hæc, hoc.

Evans. Nominativo, hig, hag, hog;-pray you, mark: genitivo, hujus. Well, what is your accusative case?