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HASTINGS.

To the landlady!

MARLOW.

The landlady!

HASTINGS.

You did?

MARLOW.

I did. She's to be anfwerable for it's forth-com

ing, you know.

HASTINGS.

Yes, fhe'll bring it forth, with a witness.

MARLOW.

Wasn't I right? I believe you'll allow that I acted prudently upon this occafion?

HASTINGS.

(Afide) He must not fee my uneafiness.

MARLOW.

You feem a little difconcerted though, methinks. Sure nothing has happened?

HASTINGS.

No, nothing. Never was in better fpirits in all my life. And fo you left it with the landlady, who, no doubt, very readily undertook the charge?

MARLOW.

Rather too readily. For fhe not only kept the casket; but, through her great precaution, was going to keep the meffenger too. Ha! ha! ha!

HASTINGS.

He he he! They're safe however.

MAR

MARLOW.

As a guinea in a miser's purse.

HASTINGS.

(Afide) So now all hopes of fortune are at an end, and we must set off without it. (To him) Well, Charles, I'll leave you to your meditations on the pretty bar-maid, and, he! he! he! may you be as fuccefsful for yourself as you have been for me.

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Thank ye, George! I ask no more. Ha! ha!

ha!

Enter HARDCASTLE:

HARDCASTLE.

I no longer know my own house.

It's turn'd all

topfey-turvey. His fervants have got drunk already. I'll bear it no longer, and yet, from my respect for his father, I'll be calm. (To him) Mr. Marlow, your fervant. I'm your very humble fervant.

MARLOW.

(Bowing low.

Sir, your humble fervant. (Afide) What's to be the wonder now ?

HARDCASTLE.

I believe, Sir, you must be fenfible, Sir, that no man alive ought to be more welcome than your father's fon, Sir. I hope you think fo?

MAR

MARLOW.

I do from my foul, Sir. I don't want much intreaty. I generally make my father's fon welcome wherever he goes.

HARDCASTLE.

I believe you do, from my foul, Sir. But though. I fay nothing to your own conduct, that of your fervants is unfufferable. Their manner of drinking is fetting a very bad example in this houfe, I affure you.

MARLOW.

I proteft, my very good Sir, that is no fault of mine. If they don't drink as they ought they are to blame. I ordered them not to fpare the cellar. I did, I affure you. (To the fide fcene) Here, let one of my servants come up. (To him) My pofitive directions were, that as I did not drink myself, they fhould make up for my deficiencies below.

HARDCASTLE.

Then they had your orders for what they do! I'm fatisfied!

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You, Jeremy! Come forward, firrah! What were my orders? Were you not told to drink freely,

and

and call for what you thought fit, for the good of

the house?

HARDCASTLE.

(Afide) I begin to lofe my patience.

JEREMY.

Please your honour, liberty and Fleet-ftreet for ever! Though I'm but a fervant, I'm as good as another man. I'll drink for no man before fupper, Sir, dammy! Good liquor will fit upon a good fupper, but a good fupper will not fit uponhiccup upon my confcience, Sir.

MARLOW.

You fee, my old friend, the fellow is as drunk as he can poffibly be. I don't know what you'd have more, unless you'd have the poor devil foused in a beer-barrel.

HARDCASTLE.

Zounds! he'll drive me diftracted if I contain myfelf any longer. Mr. Marlow. Sir; I have fubmitted to your infolence for more than four hours, and I fee no likelihood of its coming to an end. I'm now refolved to be mafter here, Sir, and I defire that you and your drunken pack may leave my

houfe directly.

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Leave your houfe! -Sure you jeft, my good friend? What, when I'm doing what I can to please

you.

HARD

HARDCASTLE.

I tell you, Sir, you don't please me; fo I defire you'll leave my houfe.

MARLOW.

Sure you cannot be serious? at this time o'night, and fuch a night. You only mean to banter me?

HARDCASTLE.

I tell you, Sir, I'm ferious! and, now that my paffions are rouzed, I fay this houfe is mine, Sir; this houfe is mine, and I command you to leave it directly.

MARLOW.

Ha ha ha! A puddle in a ftorm. I fhan't ftir a step, I affure you. (In a ferious tone) This your house, fellow! It's my house. This is my houfe. Mine, while I chufe to stay. have you to bid me to leave this house, Sir? I never met with fuch impudence, curfe me, never in my whole life before.

HARDCASTLE.

What right

Nor I, confound me if ever I did. To come to my house, to call for what he likes, to turn me out of my own chair, to infult the family, to order his fervants to get drunk, and then to tell me, "This houfe is mine, Sir," By all that's impudent it makes me laugh. Ha! ha! ha! Pray, Sir, (banttering) as you take the house, what think you of taking the rest of the furniture? There's a pair of filver candlesticks, and there's a fire-fcreen, and

here's

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