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"all the wants of mankind as our own; to regard "the human face divine with affection and efteem; "he wound us up to be mere machines of pity, and "rendered us incapable of withstanding the flightest "impulse made either by real or fictitious diftrefs; "in a word, we were perfectly inftructed in the art "of giving away thoufands before we were taught "the more neceffary qualifications of getting a far"thing.

"I cannot avoid imagining, that thus refined by "his leffons out of all my fufpicion, and divefted of " even all the little cunning which Nature had given

me, I resembled, upon my firft entrance into the "bufy and infidious world, one of thofe gladiators "who were expofed with armour in the amphithe"atre at Rome. My father, however, who had "only feen the world on one fide, feemed to tri"umph in my fuperior difcernment; though my "whole ftock of wifdom confifted in being able to "talk like himfelf upou fubjects that once were "ufeful, because they were then topics of the busy "world; but that now were utterly ufelefs, becaufe "connected with the bufy world no longer.

"The first opportunity he had of finding his "expectations difappointed, was at the very mid"dling figure I made in the univerfity; he had "flattered himfelf that he fhould foon fee me "rifing into the foremost rank in literary reputation, "but was mortified to find me utterly unnoticed "and unknown. His difappointment might have

been partly afcribed to his having over-rated my "talents, and partly to my diflike of mathematical "reafonings at a time, when my imagination and "memory yet unfatisfied, were more eager after "new objects than defirous of reafoning upon thofe "I knew. This did not, however, pleafe my tu❝tors, who obferved indeed, that I was a little "dull; but at the fame time allowed, that I

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"feemed to be very good-natured, and had no harmi ❝ in me.

"After I had refided at college feven years, my "father died, and left me-his blefling. Thus "shoved from fhore without ill-nature to protect, "or cunning to guide, or proper ftores to fubfift me in fo dangerous a voyage, I was obliged to "embark in the wide world at twenty-two. But, "in order to fettle in life, my friends advised (for "they always advise when they begin to defpife us) they advised me, I fay, to go into orders.

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"To be obliged to wear a long wig, when I liked "a fhort one, or a black coat, when I generally "dreffed in brown, I thought was fuch a reftraint upon my liberty, that I abfolutely rejected the "propofal. A prieft in England is not the fame "mortified creature with a bonze in China; with "us, not he that fafts beft, but eats beft, is reck"oned the beft liver; yet I rejected a life of luxury, "indolence, and ease, from no other confideration "but that boyish one of drefs. So that my friends "were now perfectly fatisfied I was undone; and "yet they thought it a pity for one who had not the leaft harm in him, and was fo very good"natured.

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"Poverty naturally begets dependance, and I was "admitted as flatterer to a great man. At first I "was furprized, that the fituation of a flatterer at "a great man's table could be thought difagree"able; there was no great trouble in liftening attentively when his lordship fpoke, and laughing "when he looked round for applaufe. This even good manners might have obliged me to perform. “I found, however, too foon, that his lordship was "a greater dunce than myfelf; and from that very "moment flattery was at an end. I now rather "aimed at fetting him right, than at receiving his "abfurdities with fubmiffion: to flatter those we

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** do not know is an easy tafk; but to flatter our "intimate acquaintances, all whofe foibles are "ftrongly in our eye, is drudgery infupportable. "Every time I now opened my lips in praife, my "falfhood went to my confcience; his lordship "foon perceived me to be very unfit for fervice: "I was therefore difcharged; my patron at the "fame time being graciously pleafed to obferve, "that he believed I was tolerably good-natured, " and had not the leaft harm in me.

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Difappointed in ambition I had recourfe to "love. A young lady, who lived with her aunt, "and was poffeffed of a pretty fortune in her own "difpofal, had given me, as I fancied, fome rea"fon to expect fuccefs. The fymptoms by which "I was guided were ftriking. She had always "laughed with me at her awkward acquaintance, "and at her aunt among the number; fhe always "obferved, that a man of fenfe would make a bet"ter husband than a fool, and I as conftantly ap"plied the obfervation in my own favour. "continually talked, in my company, of friendship " and the beauties of the mind, and spoke of Mr. "Shrimp, my rival's high-heeled fhoes, with de"teftation. These were circumftances which I "thought ftrongly in my favour; fo, after refolv

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ing, and re-refolving, I had courage enough to "tell her my mind. Mifs heard my propofal with "ferenity, feeming at the fame time to ftudy the figures of her fan. Out at laft it came. There "was but one fmall objection to complete our hap"pinefs; which was no more, than-that the "was married three months before to Mr. Shrimp, "with high-heeled fhoes! By way of confolation, however, the obferved, that, though I was dif"appointed in her, my addreffes to her aunt would probably kindle her into fenfibility; as the old VOL. III.

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"lady always allowed me to be very good-natured, "and not to have the leaft fhare of harm in me.

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"Yet, ftill I had friends, numerous friends, and "to them I was refolved to apply. O Friendship! "thou fond foother of the human breaft, to thee we fly in every calamity; to thee the wretched "feek for fuccour; on thee the care-tired fon of "mifery fondly relies; from thy kind affiftance the "unfortunate always hopes relief, and may be ever "fure of-difappointment! My firft application "was to a city-fcrivener, who had frequently of"fered to lend me money when he knew I did not "want it. I informed him, that now was the time "to put his friendship to the teft; that I wanted to "borrow a couple of hundreds for a certain occa"fion, and was refolved to take it up from him. "And pray, Sir, cried my friend, do you want all "this money? Indeed I never wanted it more, re"turned I. I am forry for that, cries the fcrivener, with all my heart; for they who want money, when they come to borrow, will always want 66 money when they should come to pay.

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"From him I flew with indignation to one of the best friends I had in the world, and made the fame requéft. Indeed, Mr. Dry-bone, cries my friend, "I always thought it would come to this. You "know, Sir, I would not advife you but for your

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own good, but your conduct has hitherto been "ridiculous in the highest degree, and fome of your "acquaintance always thought you a very filly fel"low. Let me fee, you want two hundred pounds. "Do you only want two hundred, Sir, exactly ? "To confefs a truth, returned I, I fhall want three "hundred; but then I have another friend, from "whom I can borrow the reft. Why then, re"plied my friend, if you would take my advice

(and you know I fhould not prefume to advise

you but for your own good), I would recommend "it to you to borrow the whole fum from that other "friend; and then one note will ferve for all, you “know.

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"Poverty now began to come faft upon me; yet "instead of growing more provident or cautious as "I grew poor, I became every day more indolent "and fimple. A friend was arrefted for fifty pounds; "I was unable to extricate him except by becoming "his bail. When at liberty he fled from his credi"tors, and left me to take his place in prifon I expected greater fatisfactions than I had enjoyed at "large. I hoped to converfe with men in this new "world fimple and believing like myfelf, but I "found them as cunning and as cautious as those ❝ in the world I had left behind. They fpunged up "my money whilft it lafted, borrowed my coals "and never paid for them, and cheated me when I played at cribbage. All this was done becaufe they believed me to be very good-natured, and "knew that I had no harm in me.

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Upon my firft entrance into this manfion, which is to fome the abode of defpair, I felt "no fenfations different from thofe I experienced "abroad. I was now on one fide the door, and "thofe who were unconfined were on the other;

this was all the difference between us. At first "indeed I felt fome uncafinefs, in confidering how "I fhould be able to provide this week for the wants "of the week enfuing; but after fome time, if I "found myself fure of eating one day, I never "troubled my head how I was to be fupplied ano"ther. I feized every precarious meal with the "utmoft good-humour; indulged no rants of fpleen 66 at my fituation; never called down Heaven and "all the ftars to behold me dining upon an half"penny-worth of radifhes; my very companions "were taught to believe that I liked fallad better

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