But Bawdy is often helped on by another figure, called Pertnefs; and few indeed are found to excel in one that are not poffeffed of the other. As in common converfation, the best way to make the audience laugh is by firft laughing yourfelf; fo in writing, the propereft manner is to fhew an attempt at humour, which will pass upon moft for humour in reality. To effect this, readers must be treated with the moft perfect familiarity; in one page the author is to make them a low bow, and in the next to pull them by the nose: he must talk in riddles, and then send them to bed in order to dream for the folution. He muft speak of himself and his chapters, and his manner, and what he would be at, and his own importance, and his mother's importance with the most unpitying prolixity: now and then teftifying his contempt for all but himfelf, fmiling without a jeft, and without wit poffeffing vivacity. Adieu. LETTER LIII. FROM THE SAME. THOUGH naturally penfive, yet I am fond of gay company, and take every opportunity of thus difmiffing the mind from duty. From this motive I am often found in the centre of a crowd; and wherever pleasure is to be fold, am always a purchafer. In those places, without being remarked by any, I join in whatever goes forward, work my paffions into a fimilitude of frivolous earneftnefs, fhout fhout as they shout, and condemn as they happen to difapprove. A mind thus funk for a while below its natural ftandard, is qualified for ftronger flights, as those first retire who would fpring forward with greater vigour. Attracted by the ferenity of the evening, my friend and I lately went to gaze upon the company in one of the public walks near the city. Here we fauntered together for fome time, either praising the beauty of fuch as were handfome, or the dreffes of such as had nothing else to recommend them. We had gone thus deliberately forward for fome time, when stopping on a fudden, my friend caught me by the elbow, and led me out of the public walk; I could perceive by the quickness of his pace, and by his frequently looking behind, that he was attempting to avoid fomebody who followed; we now turned to the right, then to the left; as we went forward he ftill went fafter, but in vain; the perfon whom he attempted to escape, hunted us through every doubling, and gained upon us each moment; fo that at laft we fairly stood ftill, refolving to face what we could not avoid. Our purfuer foon came up, and joined us with all the familiarity of an old acquaintance. My dear Drybone, cries he, shaking my friend's hand, where have you been hiding this half a century? Pofitively I had fancied you were gone down to cultivate matrimony and your eftate in the country. During the reply, I had an opportunity of furveying the appearance of our new companion; his hat was pinched up with peculiar fmartnefs; his looks were pale, thin, and sharp; round his neck he wore a broad black ribbon, and in his bofom a buckle ftudded with glafs; his coat was trimmed with tarnished twift; he wore by his fide a fword with a black hilt, and his ftockings of filk, though newly washed, were grown yellow by P 2 long long fervice. I was fo much engaged with the peculiarity of his dress, that I attended only to the latter part of my friend's reply, in which he complimented Mr. Tibbs on the taste of his cloaths, and the bloom in his countenance: Pfha, pfha, Will, cried the figure, no more of that if you love me, you know I hate flattery, on my foul I de; and yet to be fure an intimacy with the great will improve one's appearance, and a course of venifon will fatten; and yet faith I defpife the great as much as you do; but there are a great many damn'd honeft fellows among them; and we must not quarrel with one half, because the other wants weeding. If they were all fuch as my lord Mudler, one of the most good-natured creatures that ever Squeezed a lemon, 1 fhould myself be among the number of their admirers. I was yesterday to dine at the Dutchess of Piccadilly's, My lord was there. Ned, fays he to me, Ned, Says he, I'll bold gold to filver I can tell where you were poaching laft night. Poaching, my lord, fays I; faith you have miffed already; for Iftaid at home, and let the girls poach for me. That's my way; I take a fine woman as fome animals do their prey; stand still, and fwoop, they fall into my mouth. - Ah, Tibbs, thou art an happy fellow, cried my companion with looks of infinite pity, I hope your fortune is as much improved as your understanding in fuch company? Improved, replied the other; You fhall know, but let it go no farther, a great fecret-five hundred a year to begin with.-My lord's word of honour for it-bis lordship took me down in his own chariot yesterday, and we had a tete-a-tete dinner in the country; where we talked of nothing else. I fancy you forget, Sir, cried I, you told us but this moment of your dining yesterday in town! Did I fay fo, replied he coolly, to be fure if I faid fo, it was fo-dined in town: egad now I do remember, I did dine. in town; but I dined in the country too; for you must know, know, my boys, I eat two dinners. By the bye, I am grown as nice as the Devil in my eating. I'll tell you a pleafant affair about that: We were a felect party of us to dine at Lady Grogram's, an affected piece, but let it go no farther; a fecret: well, there happened to be no afafatida in the fauce to a turkey, upon which, fays I, I'll hold a thousand guineas, and fay done firft, that but dear Drybone, you are an honest creature, lend me half-a-crown for a minute or two, or so, just till—but hearkee, afk me for it the next time we meet, or it may be twenty to one but I forget to pay you. When he left us, our converfation naturally turned upon fo extraordinary a character. His very drefs, cries my friend, is not lefs extraordinary than his conduct. If you meet him this day you find him in rags, if the next in embroidery. With those perfons of diftinction, of whom he talks fo familiarly, he has fcarcely a coffee-house acquaintance. However, both for interefts of fociety, and perhaps for his own, Heaven has made him poor, and while all the world perceive his wants, he fancies them concealed from every eye. An agreeable companion because he understands flattery, and all must be pleased with the first part of his converfation, though all are fure of its ending with a demand on their purfe. While his youth countenances the levity of his conduct, he may thus earn a precarious fubfiftence, but when age comes on, the gravity of which is incompatible with buffoonery, then will he find himself forfaken by all. Condemned in the decline of life to hang upon fome rich family whom he once defpifed, there to undergo all the ingenuity of ftudied contempt, to be employed only as a fpy upon the fervants, or a bug-bear to fright the children into obedience. Adieu. I AM apt to fancy I have contracted a new acquaintance whom it will be no easy matter to shake off. My little beau yesterday overtook me again in one of the public walks, and flapping me on the fhoulder, faluted me with an air of the most perfect familiarity. His drefs was the fame as ufual, except that he had more powder in his hair, wore a dirtier fhirt, a pair of temple fpectacles, and his hat under his arm. As I knew him to be an harmless amufing little thing, I could not return his fmiles with any degree of feverity; fo we walked forward on terms of the utmost intimacy, and in a few minutes difcuffed all the ufual topics preliminary to particular conver fation. The oddities that marked his character, however, foon began to appear; he bowed to feveral welldreffed perfons, who, by their manner of returning the compliment, appeared perfect ftrangers. At intervals he drew out a pocket-book, feeming to take memorandums before all the company, with much importance and affiduity. In this manner he led me through the length of the whole walk, fretting at his abfurdities, and fancying myself laughed at not less than him by every fpectator. When we were got to the end of our proceffion, Blaft me, cries he with an air of vivacity, I never faw the park fo thin in my life before; there's no company at all to-day. Not a fingle face to be feen. Na company, interrupted I peevishly; no company where |