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For a patriot too cool; for a drudge disobedient; And too fond of the right to pursue the expedient. In short, 'twas his fate, unemploy'd, or in place, sir, To eat mutton cold, and cut blocks with a razor.
Here lies honest William, whose heart was a mint, While the owner ne'er knew half the good that was
The pupil of impulse, it forc'd him along,
ask for his merits? alas! he had none; What was good was spontaneous, his faults were
his own. Here lies honest Richard', whose fate I must sigh
Alas! that such frolic should now be so quiet! What spirits were his! what wit and what whim! Now breaking a jest, and now breaking a limb!
1 Mr. Richard Burke. This gentleman having slightly fractured one of his arms and legs, at different times, the Doctor has rallied him on those accidents, as a kind of retributive justice for breaking bis jests upon other people.
Now wrangling and grumbling to keep up the ball!
Here Cumberland lies, having acted his parts,
Quite sick of pursuing each troublesome elf,
Here Douglas retires from his toils to relax, The scourge of impostors, the terror of quacks: Come, all ye quack bards, and ye quacking divines, Come, and dance on the spot where your tyrant
reolines : When satire and censure encircled his throne, I fear'd for your safety, I fear'd for my own; But now he is gone, and we want a detector, Our Dodds shall be pious, our Kenricks“shall lecture; Macpherson write bombast, and call it a style; Our Townshend make speeches, and I shall compile; New Lauders and Bowers the Tweed shall cross over, No countryman living their tricks to discover; Detection her taper shall quench to a spark, And Scotchman meet Scotchman, and cheat in the
1 The Rev. Dr. Dodd.
2 Dr. Kenrick, who read lectures at the Devil tavern, under the title of “ The School of Shakspeare.”
3 James Macpherson, Esq. who lately, from the mere force of his style, wrote down the first poet of all antiquity.
Here lies David Garrick, describe him who can, An abridgment of all that was pleasant in man: As an actor, confest without rival to shine; As a wit, if not first, in the
first line: Yet, with talents like these, and an excellent heart, The man had his failings--a dupe to his art. Like an ill-judging beauty, his colours be spread, And beplaster'd with rouge his own natural red. On the stage he was natural, simple, affecting; 'Twas only that when he was off he was acting. With no reason on earth to go out of his way, He turn'd and he varied full ten times a day : Though secure of our hearts, yet confoundedly sick If they were not his own by finessing and trick: He cast off his friends, as a huntsman his pack, For he knew when he pleas’d he could whistle them
back. Of praise a mere glutton, he swallow'd what came, And the puff of a dunce he mistook it for fame; Till his relish grown callous, almost to disease, Who pepper'd the highest was surest to please. But let us be candid, and speak out our mind, If dunces applauded, he paid them in kind.
Ye Kenricks, ye Kellys', and Woodfallsso grave,
1 Mr, Hugh Kelly, author of False Delicacy, Word to the Wise, Clementina, School for Wives, &c. &c.
" Mr. W. Woodfall, printer of the Morning Chronicle,