Jay constructed and every day tumble to pieces like a houfe of cards? It is obvious to every one who knows ine, that, if I had been confulted, I must in the very nature of things have given my opinion decidedly against them. Impoftors have in former times affumed my name and authority; but I defy my worst enemies to prove that I ever was the cause of overthrowing monarchies, dividing kingdoms into provinces, or fubverting republics. The weapons employed in those fervies are not mine. Mine (where I allow any) are purely defenfive: but the words offenfive and defenfive have lately been fo bewildered in a jargon of unmeaning rant, that I defpair of ever making them be understood in their original fenfe. The confequence of involving my name in the affairs of the world is, that I am confidered both as the apology and the cause of every mifchief that befalls mankind. It might feem ludicrous to defcend to particulars, yet I cannot help complaining a little when I am gravely told that it is for me that flocks fall and taxes rife-for me that men undertake impracticable expeditions-for me that public credit is fhaken and bankruptcies increafe. Push this abfurdity a little farther, and you will find that for my fake men wear powder in their hair, and that to preferve me not a dog can bark without an annual permiffion. The purpofe, therefore, of this letter is merely to fay, that, as I do not feel myself either honoured or benefited by the notice taken of me, I hope I may be permitted to remain in the retirement I formerly enjoyed. My houfes, it is true, were not much visited; but fuch as came, came from a respect to me, and came conflantly. I am not proud of thofe vifitors who can come only once a year in fine red coats, and then think no more about me. My Minifters are the only perfons whom I enjoin to wear a uniform, but it is not of that colour; and I with men to fix their hearts and not their bayonets when they approach my dwellings. However, I do not, upon the whole, complain of these visits as to the mode; I only wish they were repeated often enough to become a habit: but, as I have been vifited once by many who never visited me before, and are not likely to repeat the compliment, I leave you to judge what value I ought to put upon it. I hope, therefore, that after this declaration of my fentiments, no perfon will prefume to use my name without fome fmall acquaintance with the fubject, as it is impoffible I can take any concern in the affairs of Europe without being properly confulted. RELIGION. FOGS AND FUTURITY. MR. EDITOR, You [From the fame.] OU are cenfured in a Ministerial Paper of this day because you lay even fogs at the door of the Miniftry, and blame them for ftorms and tempefts. I truft you can acquit yourself of this charge-at least you cannot mean natural fogs. A little hazinefs of understanding you may now and then prove, and a miftinefs of measures, which neither themselves nor any body elfe can fee through: but even this, I trust, you will now be inclined to give up. You can have nothing to fay against our great Financier on this fcore. A man who can spy out a revenue at twelve years diftance may laugh at Herfchel and his forty-feet telescope. "The like was never done before," as the puppet-fhowmen fay, and will furprise all the crowned heads of Europe." I prefume the next * *Can this have any allufion to the renewal, by anticipation, of the Bank Charter? EDIT. thing he will do will be to cock his eye at the Magna Charta of Leadenhall Street, which will be out of print in less than twenty years, and it may be as well to prepare a new edition in time. There are other fnug things that may be expected to fall in in the course of the next century, which, I prefume, will alfo come within his purview.. I expect every day to hear that my friend Dr. Mafkelyne has got orders to quit; and that our Telescopic Treasurer has removed the Tax Office to Flamstead Hill, the only scope for genius determined to make eternity fupply the deficiencies of time. Saturday, Nov. 9. I am, Sir, P. S. It is none of the finalleft advantages our Financier has reaped from keeping Mr. D's company fo long, that the latter has accomplished him in that attribute of his countrymen, commonly called the fecond fight! INTERCEPTED LETTERS. MR. EDITOR, IT [From the fame.] T feems to be generally acknowledged that fome people have more cunning than others, and that fome people have too much cunning, and others too little; and I fhall not be far wrong, if to thefe faga-. cious remarks I were to add that your very cunning people often defeat their own purposes by yielding too haftily to the impulfe of the moment. When I confider the contents of the Letters which have been intercepted on their way from Egypt, and the importance of the information they convey, I confefs it trikes me that we have outwitted ourselves by divulging divulging to the enemy what it must be obviously our interest to have concealed. The diftreffes of the Army of Egypt are great. As a worshipper of Administration, I am bound to rejoice in those diftreffes; I am bound to contemplate with the most pleasing fatisfaction the fword, or the famine, or the plague, which fhall devour seven thousand more human beings-I beg pardon, I mean Frenchmen. I am bound to fill up the little interftices of my joy with calculating their agonies, and measuring the varieties of pain which these fatal auxiliaries may infli&t; I am bound to exult in the idea (for, alas! it is what I may not, perhaps, See) of bags, and facks, and old woolpacks filled with heads to decorate the walls of the Seraglio, and placed there in the most beautiful order and forms. All this, by the new religion, is to afford me joy and tranfport. But if we, the moment fuch profpects are opened to our expectant eyes, the moment fo exquifite a pleafure feems to be within our reach-if, I fay, we divulge the contents of our letters to the enemy, do we not inftruct them to take fuch meafures as may defeat our hopes? Surely, Sir, "our right hand has in this bufinefs forgot its cunning." What fignifies it that we intercept letters, if we divulge the contents to the parties for whom they were intended, and that almost as foon as they would have received them by courfe of post? Now, Sir, contemplate the reverse-suppose the Confulate ignorant of what is paffing in Egypt, and of courfe neglectful of the army, what more natural than that they fhould all die by the hand of the enemy, or by famine, or by plague; or, (what is yet more delightful!) that, irritated by their country's neglect, they fhould kill one another; nay, who knows?— perhaps eat one another! O glorious profpect! O ravithing thought! And how bitter the disappointment, if we ourselves, by this precipitate publication, are the cause of it! Yours, ANTI-JACOBIN. HINTS FOR THE ECONOMY OF TIME, EXPENSE, LEARNING, AND MORALITY. I. DESIGNED FOR THE EASE AND BENEFIT OF THE FASHIONABLE WORLD. TIME. NO time to be expended on thought, as nothing comes of it among men of fashion. 2. The wear and tear of time by conftant use to be avoided, as fo precious an article ought to be employed fparingly. 3. Time often to be protracted by long and wea:ifome lounges, by way of making the most of it. 4. When time is heavy with laffitude, and dull with inoccupation, be tender of ufing it in this torpid and vapourish condition, and endeavour to refreth it by the flumbers of inanity. 5. Make up your mind at once and irrevocably on every question: by these means you fave the time that would otherwise be loft in choofing, and need never after waste a moment in hearing what another man has to fay. 6. Avoid the acquifition of too many new ideas, which will demand confiderable time to arrange themfelves in your minds. The fewer your ideas, the more fpeedily will your measures be taken, and your refolutions formed; it being a much fhorter procefs to determine with two ideas than with half a score. 7. Difpoffefs yourself as much as poffible of all feeling for other inen; for this is giving to others a claim upon your time; and while you are fynpa thizing |