t as the work of wisdom, tried and meliorated by experience. That there are imperfections in it, he may perhaps admit; for he is attached, not bigotted; but they are fuch only, as he hopes by time and prudent counfel to remove; or fuch as, being necessary conceffions to the imperfections of mankind, cannot fafely be removed till human nature is corrected. He is fenfible of the value of that knowledge which is the refult of experience-and in fo important a point as the conftitution of his country, he is leaft difpofed to yield to the theories of fpeculative men. To this fyftem he adheres, from strong conviction of its excellence. Innovation, proceeding from levity, he contemns; attended with injuftice, cruelty, or public danger, he abhors. He loves his king with fome reftrictions, and his country without any; nor will he lightly rise against the one, or throw the other into difcord and confufion. To politics he is addicted, and not, perhaps, fufficiently averfe from parties. But, when the public is in danger, he forgets all fubdivifions, and knows no party but his country. : but This is the True Briton, of which defcription a large majority exifts in every class of focial life throughout the nation more or lefs perfect, indeed; enough fo to fix this as the public character, and thereby to deserve the refpect and veneration of the world. A CERTAIN CURE FOR THE REVOLUTIONARY INFLUENZA AND MALIGNANT OPPOSITION FEVER. THE EXTRACTED FROM THE WORKS OF THE PHILANTHROPIC MAXIMILIAN ROBESPIERRE, M.A. SURGEON GENERAL ΤΟ THE FRENCH REPUBLIC, PRESIDENT OF PHLEBOTOMIC COLLEGE OF PARIS, HONORARY MEMBER OF THE HUMANE SOCIETIES OF LYONS AND NANTES, &c. &c. &c. Humbly fubmitted to the Confideration of the noble and ignoble Lovers of Liberty, Equality, and Sansculottism. [From the Oracle] PUT the perfon and property of your patient in a flate of requifition; compel his fons, above fourteen years of age, to join the army; take his horfes, waggons, and carts, to convey thofe fons of liberty to the frontiers; demand his boots and fhoes for their use, and his linen to drefs the wounds which the Children of Freedam may receive from the Satellites of Defpotism; force him to depofit one fourth of his fortune, as a voluntary loan, and to fell the produce of his land, or his merchandife, at whatever price you deem proper to fix upon it; enjoin his daughters, on pain of death, not to refufe any offers of marriage; and in order to promote a crifis, fend fome of your moft defpicable affiftants with propofitions, which they will not dare to reject, and yet muft hesitate to accept. Should the nerves of your patient become irritated by acuteness of pain, and produce fymptoms of oppo. fition to your will, or indications of refiftance to the falutary regimen you have prescribed, it will be neceffary to awe him into fubmiffion by terror, which may be effected by a fimple exhibition of the revolutionary army and ambulating guillotine. Although the above alterative proves effectual in ordinary cafes, it is liable, in inveterate ones, to en gender gender choler, which frequently caufes long and loud eructations, distortions of the face, foaming at the mouth, and other figns of internal convulfions, which cannot be fuppreffed, but by bleeding with a bayonet, fcarifying with a fabre, or bliftering with gunpowder. If, unfortunately, the malignancy of the difeafe baffles the powers of these gentle correctives; if your patient grows turbulent, frantic, and ungovernable, it will be expedient to order him into clofe confinement -to reduce his diet until the fever fubfides, and to have him examined before a tribunal of the faculty; after which you must give him an airing, in a democratic carriage, to fome fpacious place, where, for the fake of public inftruction, his head fhould be thaved by the national razor; an operation invented by the patriotic Doctor Guillat, and which has never been known to fail. FREEDOM OF A CITIZEN OF PARIS. OPEN your doors, in the name of the law," cries an officer of police, at five in the morning. I immediately open my doors. "Your papers. "Here they are." "You come from the army?"-" Yes, Citizen." "But your paffport is not ftamped."-" How fo, Citizen? it is indeed."—" But has it been counterfigned by the commandant of the place, and marked. by the general ftaff ?"—" It has."-" Your ftamp is, however, black, and it fhould have been red.". "Surely, Citizen, its colour has nothing to do with it?" "Excufe me; that is a very effential point: you must come with me to the central office." With pleafure; I will only put on my clothes, and attend you." The police officer continues his journey, and we part. H 3 There 1 There were fix of us in the fame fituation. Twentyfive comrades in arms furround us, and we set out on our march. "What a pity," cried a green-grocer," that fuch genteel young men fhould be thieves!" The wine. merchant's boy, who has his own card of safety, does not fuppofe that a ftranger can be without one; and as we pafs him while he is opening his fhop, he tells us, that the reign of knaves is at an end. I am of the fame opinion, my lad; but that obfervation does not apply to me." We arrive at the central bureau. "Your bufinefs fhall be fettled in lefs than a quarter of an hour." The quarter of an hour, however, elapfes, and in order to lodge us more conveniently while we waited, we are removed to a prifon. I fhudder with horror when I confider that citizens arrefted for want of a paffport are lodged in the fame place with criminals. At length, however, I am called upon by name. I come forward, and am led to be examined. After the preliminary queftions, I am asked, "Where is your wife?"" She is, Citizen, with; but it is very extraordinary that you should ask me fuch a quef. tion."" Citizen, I muft afk it.". "She is with her family."-The other queftions were nearly of the fame nature. "You are not fet at liberty until you have found two fureties." In the mean time I am carried back again to prifon, to wait their arrival, during which time I count the minutes. At length I am fet at liberty, on the fpecial condition of returning again. What a favour! POLITICAL POLITICAL SHOP CONVERSATION. [From a Birmingham Paper.] SCENE HIGH STREET, BIRMINGHAM. PARAGRAPH folus, behind his Counter. PARAGRAPH.-What the devil thall I do with all thefe differently thinking beings?-Here's a letter from Mr. Sam. Snapdragon, pulling Fox, Sheridan, and all the junto to pieces; and he tells me, if I don't infert it at full length, I am nothing better than a Jacobin. And here 's another from Oliver Overturn, boiling over with invective against Pitt and the Miniftry; infifting upon it that the INS ought to be OUT, and the OUTS ought to be IN: and that if our paper is not more patriotic, neither he nor his friends will ever advertise with us more. Enter Mr. ONESIDE.. Onefide. So, Mr. Paragraph, you gave us a pretty lukewarm, watergruel account of matters at Warwick, without a fingle compliment to the loyal party, or the fhadow of a ftroke at the feditionifts-ftifling truth and smothering juftice !-Why, Sir, you should have told the public that our party were at least ten to one, and people of the firft refpectability, while a packed rabble got the bufinefs fmuggled through by the rule of thumb.-Fye on't, Mr. Paragraph-Fye on't--We muft, and will, have an avowedly loyal and conftitutional paper in Birmingham, if we fet it up ourfelves; and then you and your brother journalist must take the confequence. Paragraph.-Sir, we wish to stand well with all parties; and though we revere that which has justice on its fide, yet, as impartial caterers for the public, we wish to please all, and disoblige none. Onefide. Then let me tell you, Sir, that fuch con |