would have placed a cheval-glass before him, and made a literal and practical attempt to stand with his heels in the air; but our friend, being both idle and original, went to work in another direction. He tried to see himself standing upon his head by merely turning his dressing-room looking-glass upside down, and placing himself before it. Well, we say he failed; yet that little act bespoke the man, and we should not be surprised to hear, one of these days, that he was driving a rattling trade on the desert of Sahara as the proprietor of a diving-bell. A man like that could succeed anywhere with anything-barring, of course, the lookingglass business, which was merely an imaginary line-like the earth's axis. The instance given, perhaps, entitles him to rank above little originals, yet, there can be no question, it was very queer.

So much for the specimen of the lazy class. All the following of whom we may speak must be regarded as more or less industrious. There is nothing new under the sun; even originality itself is not new; it is always suggested by something older than itself, and this belies the name it wears. Particularly do one race of persons, whose name is legion-to make use of a highly novel expression-prove this to be the case. They may be distinguished thus. There is a proverb which says that necessity is the mother of invention: well, they, disliking mere quotation, boldly declare that invention is the daughter of necessity; and bystanding critics clap their hands, exclaiming, "How original!"

And, talking of turning sentences, we should not forget a certain individual (very queer) who managed to get through the world bearing off the best of characters, although playing the vilest of tricks. He would give utterance to a base lie, and then quote, in his own expiation, a sentence from some moralist, which he could ingeniously twist into a commendation of falsehood (under peculiar circumstances, tradesman's excuse!), though in reality condemnatory of it. And so with every other wrong act he committed. He commenced, we believe, this kind of career at school. He was noted as being the most brazen-faced urchin of his day, and he cited with self-gratulation a portion of a school task to support him in it. Modesty is a virtue that best adorns a woman—certainly. In men it was a positive vice. And this man was credited with originality. Let no one now deny it him.

Little original punsters are as plentiful as coughs in November. Since the time of the miserable being whose wick is exhausted-peace to its snuffings!--who perpetrated the crime of calling lighting a candle throwing a light on the subject, every party has had its maker of puns and general joker; from whose company, not forgetting that of Brown hereafter mentioned, may Fortune save us! Any attempt at description of the race must fail, for they differ considerably, except in dulness, and their name we would say was legion, if we had not just made use of that phrase. We shall therefore be content with inflicting on the reader the pun-if pun it was we had inflicted on us.

last

Last week Smith, Brown, and we, fell in company together, and for a time we were very comfortable; but at length, "Give us a pinch of snuff," says Brown to Smith.

"With great pleasure," Smith replies.

Brown gets it, and applies it to his nose, and having done so, exclaims, "It's damp-where have you had it ?"

"In my waistcoat pocket, along with my watch," says Smith.

"Then that accounts for it. Of course your watch is like an old can -it runs. No wonder the snuff should be damp."

O most original!

This same Brown it was who, being a Conservative, when Lord John Russell declared his concurrence in some measure implying Whiggish principles, signified his deep regret that so handsome a man as his lordship was universally admitted to be, should for a moment have demeaned himself to such an ugly expression of countenance.

We have written this singular chapter, taking a small bird's-eye view of the two or three persons in it, to enable us to dispense with penning two or three papers upon them, as we well might have done. We intend it more as a suggestive essay than a descriptive one'; but have our doubts as to whether it will be accepted as either.

XIII.

PEOPLE WHO WILL "THINK ABOUT IT."

WHEN you are desirous that one of these persons should shine, you must ask a favour of him. At other times he may be as ready to act as a very active verb or a ready-reckoner; but the moment you request of him anything that costs him aught, he will "think about it;" which proves in unmistakable style that he holds mind cheaper than matter. If he would only take care to redeem his promise, such as it is, there could be no doubt that to solicit a kindness of him would be the greatest kindness you could do him; for, on the face of it, it must have the effect of setting him a thinking. But no. This assurance is no more to be depended upon than any desirable effect ought to be expected if thought really happened to succeed it. "I will think about it" is more gentle than a decided negative to your petition, but not a whit the less certain.

Yet the last thought in our head just now is an intention to find fault with or call in question the right of any man's declining to say “Yes” or "No," and choosing another form of words by whose means to shirk what he desires not to meet or entertain. But you, sir, (may say, When you are in want of a good turn, to whom are you to apply if not to one who is able to afford it you? But then, we may reply, that it is entirely at a man's option as to whether he do afford it you or not. To which you may respond,-Well and good; but have you not a right to expect a plain answer to a plain question? Our retort to which is, that this is a land of liberty, and he has an equal right to make use of equivocal words if it please him. But, say you again, it is ten to one that when you proceed to him on such a mission, you will be in a haste for his decision, with which a promise to think can no more keep pace than a promise to pay can cope with ready money. Good, say we; but can you produce and substantiate any reason why, because you are in a hurry, he should be in one too? We could continue in this argumentative style to infinity, and so long as we were allowed to state both our case and yours, always have the best of it; and we only pull up here to stoutly maintain that people who will "think about it" have no cause to be censured.

And speaking of being in a hurry: Given, that you have been passing

late at night along a street in which a disturbance was going forward; that upon you, an innocent and entirely neutral man, some half-witted policeman had pounced and borne off to the station-house as the chief offender -you would be somewhat in haste to get out we suppose? Well, say you despatch an officer to knock up a very respectable friend of yours, and bring him as bail. He is knocked up accordingly, pops his head out of window into the cold, poor fellow! and calls out "Who's there?"

"It's me," says the enlightened officer. "Mr. Green has been taken up for causing a disturbance, and wants you to come and bail him out directly."

To which your very respectable friend makes replication, “Tell him I'll think about it," closes the window, goes to bed, and sleeps until noon next day.

Yet weigh the matter well over, and we trust you will arrive at the conclusion that, after all, there was more to admire in that man's conduct than to condemn. In the first place, his slumbers were disturbed; in the second, perhaps, some pleasant dream destroyed. Imagine a person dreaming that he was dining with a lord, and awaking to find a policeman hammering at his door summoning him to the station-house to bail a poor acquaintance. Then out of a warm bed he had to put his head out into the cold. It was certainly enough to cause him to hurt the officer's feelings by swearing at him, and sending a message that you yourself might go on a visit to a visit to a gentleman, whose name, we regret to say, is very often mentioned, even to ears polite. Instead of which, he acted with the most admirable politeness, and then again repaired unruffled to his bed. You may say, if you like, that promising to think about it while you were lying in a cell waiting for immediate bail, and counting the minutes, was a cold-hearted piece of business; but as every honest man has a right to think before he takes a step forward or backward, and as it is moreover quite at his discretion whether or not he think at all, or act at all, we conceive that all argument is against you here.

in

In the same manner you, good lady, have a complaint to lodge against your husband. You grant that, under ordinary circumstances, he is the best husband in the world, but is shockingly addicted to thinking about it. You declare that when, for instance, you are going to undertake a journey with him, and just drop out on the day previous to your departure, that your wardrobe requires replenishment, instead of handing over to you a quantum suff. of money for the purpose, he merely promises to -we understand you, ma'am-and so diddles you out of your dresses. You are likewise ready to make affidavit to the effect, that when your veterate rivals, the Downings, determine upon a party, it is your invariable rule to endeavour to get up one on your own account at the self-same time, thereby rendering their party a mere futile attempt at one, all the anybodies preferring to flock to you; that your Mr. Bridges is likewise on those occasions in the habit of grievously ill-using you, for that when you fly to him, like a dove, to get his permission for a party, and to ask him to say "Yes," or "No," or rather "Yes" directly, as no time can be lost, those abominable words, "I'll think about it," are often all that you obtain, with the exception of a "my dear" at the end of it. Our judgment

in your case is, that you have no ground whereon to place a murmur, even though you are thus put off. Think how some men would storm under such circumstances; think how many there are who, to speak Shakspearianly, possessing all the "sweepingness" of Timon, without his liberality, and all the acrimony of Apemantus, without his wit, would meet your demands with a tempest; while you cannot but admit that Mr. B. gives you kind words. And you must remember how our poets have written and sung about kind words-that they are better, in fact, than anything at all. And if you are inclined to look upon a kind word as really less tangible than a Čashmere shawl or an evening party, we are rather afraid-excuse us- -that your ethics are out of order.

We are glad that our article gives us an opportunity to utter a word in favour of an ill-used race of men; we allude, as the quick-witted reader may already have anticipated, to Cabinet ministers. They are, we grant you, ever promising to think about it. You are, say, one of those uncomfortable beings, ycleped practical go-ahead men, and, in company with a posse of your friends, you wait upon the Secretary of State for the Shuffling Department to request him to take off the tax on children's gocarts the first thing to-morrow morning. Do what you will, you cannot get a promise out of him to the effect that he will abolish that most unjust tax, but he will think about it. And, say you, that is always the case with his class; if a Cabinet minister with a rope in his hand, were to see a man struggling in the midst of a deep river, and the drowning one were to implore him, as well as he could, to throw out the rope to succour him, the unfeeling minister would not do so like a trump, but promise to go to Downing-street, per next train or omnibus, and think about it. But stop, remember how elevated from you a Cabinet minister is, and be thankful to him for his condescension. Do not forget that it is wholly at his option whether he encourage or discourage you, whether he speak to you or not, or that if he thought fit he might

Frown, and be perverse, and say you nay,

without the least civility. Instead of which, with an oleaginous smile, he promises to think about your affair-and doesn't. All this is very rational, and very reasonable.

But our people must not go too far. So long as they fail to act up to their assurance they are right; but if one ask a kindness, they promise to think about it, do so, and then return you an unpropitious answer, it implies that mature reflection has led them to the conclusion that you are unworthy-which amounts to an insult. So let them take care.

Rafter, our bosom friend, intends one of these days to wait upon Mr. (we omit even initials, for obvious reasons), to solicit his consent to R.'s courting the old gentleman's daughter-not but that he does court her already, unknown to papa. Mr. Rafter avows, is

sure to say in the first instance that he will think about it, for he is just that kind of man. The lover will therefore allow the anxious parent a little time, and then wait upon him to hear his decision. "And if it should be against me," says Rafter, "I shall feel my dignity aggrieved; for if in a hasty moment the fellow had refused me, I could have excused him, but to be thought undeserving after everything for, as well as opposed to me, has passed through his mind and received attention, is

more than I can stand. In such case, I shall give the old fellow a good thrashing, and then elope with Fanny." We quite agree with Rafter.

He expresses our sentiments also to the letter when he continues: "I shall want some money to elope with, and for that I shall apply to Ashton. I know he will meet me in the same manner, and him I shall grant a whole day for study; when, if he at the end of that time says No,' I shall feel it as an insult; for it would be just informing me that I was not to be trusted. I shall then not assault him; for he is as young as I, and more active; but merely tell him, à la Cabby, that I thought he was a gentleman, in such a tone as to leave him no room to doubt that I consider myself undeceived on the point, and then-exit."

As we fully coincide with Rafter's views, you will perceive that what we wish to testify is, that "I'll think about it" is a mere phrase de société, a social fiction, worthy companion of "Not at home;" and that a man is only to be considered blamable when he uses the words in truth, does employ his mental faculties, and is led to give his petitioner an unfavourable reply as the result of his so doing.

RACHEL DE MONTLUC.

BY MISS HUME MIDDLEMASS.

THE grave opens wide its gasping mouth to receive all that shall remain of me, when a guilt-charged soul has entered its Maker's presence. Yet, ere corruption lay its fell hand upon me, must I leave to that world, where in the plenitude of brilliancy, I once so brightly shone, a record of my sins—a monument by which it may remember one, of its most deluded children.

When a fairy child sporting by my mother's knee, could she but have raised the veil of my future state on earth, and seen the wretch I should one day become, would she not have shuddered at the picture, and in the fulness of her mother's love have killed her child, rather than have sent her forth, another victim to the passions of a sin-fraught world? But, soul of my departed mother, rest in peace! Oh, let it be my comfort here to think, that in the blest regions of the just thou knowest not thy child's despair. No recollections of a bygone guilt adumbrated the calm of thy placid brow, the ever-burning coal of remorse, was not ignited at thy heart's core. Oh, mother, had I but resembled thee, even now might I be singing songs of praise to know my pilgrimage is nearly done, and that in heaven we shall meet again. But no, even as thou wert a saint on earth even so wilt thou be a saint within those heavenly doors, whence I, thy daughter, shall be ejected, an outcast, a criminal.

I watched the mournful cortège, as it proceeded slowly down the avenue, to bear all that remained of a cherished mother to her last resting-place