O Venus! thou queen of each alley and row,

From Hackney to Southwark, from Sloane-Street to Bow, With your four-in-hand dove-whip chastise, if you can, That impudent, arrogant, slut, MARY ANN!

Y-K AND A

MARIA'S HEART,

THE diamonds from Golconda's mine,
Let Eastern monarchs prize;
With envy, even they would pine,

To find those diamonds cease to shine
Beside Maria's eyes.

For pearls that lie in ocean's caves,

Let Indians dive beneath

Would they thus dare the treacherous waves?
Would they thus seek their early graves?

Had they Maria's teeth?

The coral from its rocky cell,

The bold Sicilian strips

Would he thus go where dangers dwell?
Could he the envious sigh repel?

To see Maria's lips?.

But eyes, teeth, lips-alas, how strange!
In time their charms depart-
Let others then for young one's range,
Be mine, the charm, time cannot change,
Be mine Maria's heart!

For what are eyes? the brighter they,
The keener wound they give-

They sparkle only to betray,
And often, even while they slay,
They seem to bid us live!

And what are teeth? that look as white
And spotless as the snow-

For like the snow in winter's night,
We feel too well that they can bite,
And dread their wound to know.

And what are lips? they tempt to kiss,
And seem a hive of sweets-
"Tis true-but still remember this,
That he who tastes the honied bliss,
The venom'd sting oft meets.

And what's a heart? when own'd by thee,
Ah that's indeed a gem!

Tho' Eastern monarchs proud may be,

Maria, give but that to me,

And I'll not envy them!

P. G.

LINES IMITATED FROM THE FRENCH.

PHILLIS, whilst her heart untender,

Gain preferr❜d to am'rous bliss,

Made poor Corydon surrender
Thirty sheep to buy one kiss.

When next she bargain'd with her lover,
Kisses were become more cheap,

Phillis gladly now makes over
Thirty kisses for one sheep.

Next when love no longer burns him,

Phillis, oh! how strange the whim!

All his thirty sheep returns him,
All to buy one kiss of him.

Vain at length are all her offers,

Sheep, dog, crook, (so chang'd her fate is,)
For that kind kiss she vainly proffers,
Which he gives to Chloe gratis.

June 16, 1809.

THE THREE THINGS A GOOD WIFE OUGHT TO BE, AND THE THREE THINGS A GOOD WIFE OUGHT NOT TO BE.

A WIFE, domestic, good, and pure,

Like snail should keep within her door-
But not like snail in silver'd track,
Place all her wealth upon her back.

A wife should be like echo true,
And speak but when she's spoken to--
But not like echo still be heard,
Contending for the final word.

Like a town-clock a wife should be,
Keep time and regularity-

But not, like clocks, harangue so clear,
That all the town her voice might hear.

Young man! if these allusions strike,
She whom as wife you'd hail-
Must just be like, and just unlike,
An echo, clock, or snail.

E. C.

BOILEAU NEWLY ADAPTED.

Tou oncle, dis tu, Lâpassin,

M'a guéri d'une maladie.

La preuve qu'il ne fut jamais mon médecin,
C'est que je suis encore en vie.

Puffing Brodum declares he cur'd me of the phthisic;
As I live now, 'tis clear I took none of his physic.
March 1, 1809.

J. P. S.

MEMORANDA DRAMATICA.

1809.

THEATRE ROYAL, HAYMARKET.

June 21. Wild Oats.-Obi.

22. Village Lawyer.-Love laughs at Locksmiths; Vigil, Mr. Taylor, and Captain Beldare, Mr. Jones, (first time).-Id.

23. Critic.-Barnaby Brittle, (revived).*-Id.

24. Beaux Stratagem.-Son-in-Law. Tom Thumb.

26. Iron Chest; Wilford, (first time,) Mr. Jones.-Love laughs at Locksmiths.

27. Stranger. Of Age To-morrow.

28. Battle of Hexham.-Barnaby Brittle.-Peeping Tom.t

June

* The jealousy of Barnaby is well hit off by Mr. Mathews—his scene at the window was an excellent piece of comic acting. Mrs. Gibbs' Waiting-woman, and Mr. Liston's Jeffery, were very effective, and Mrs. Glover played" Punchy" to the life. In this line she shews a wonderful deal of naiveté and cleverness.

The farce of Barnaby Brittle, is taken from Betterton's Amorous Widow, or the Wanton Wife, which is "no more than a translation ad libitum of Moliere's George Dandin," although, as the play is printed with Betterton's life, the French ladder is entirely kicked down and unnoticed. If the original had never appeared, whatever the risible muscles might have lost, morality would have had no cause to complain.

+ Maud cannot, we should think, be acted better than it is by Mrs. Gibbs, and if it could, we should hesitate about the change, for it is a million to one that no other actress would look half so pretty in the character. Crazy and the Mayor find very fair representatives in Mr. Grove and Mr. Noble; but a mutual change of parts would better correspond with their particular figures and faces. Poor Peeping Tom is badly off. After the Toms we have seen, this is very flat indeed. Here Mr. Mathews is again out of his latitude, no part being very good, except the scene with the lady sleeping. He sung the Wry-mouthed Family, as if he had an interest in bringing the song into discredit.

Through the tender care and parsimony of Mr Winston, a particular