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we that are in the vaward of our youth, I must Fal. What money is in my purse ? confess, are wags too.
Page. Seven groats and two pence. Ch. Just. Do you set down your name in the Fal. I can get no remedy against this conscroll of youth, that are written down old with sumption of the purse. Borrowing only lingers all the characters of age ? Have you not a and lingers it out, but the disease is incurable. moist eye, a dry hand, a yellow cheek, a white Go bear this letter to my Lord of Lancaster; beard, a decreasing leg, an increasing belly ? this to the Prince; this to the Earl of WestIs not your voice broken, your wind short, 205 moreland; and this to old Mistress Ursula, your chin double, your wit single, and every whom I have weekly sworn to marry since I part about you blasted with antiquity? And perceiv'd the first white hair of my chin. [270 will you yet call yourself young? Fie, fie, fie, About it. You know where to find me. [Exit Sir John!
Page.] A pox of this gout! or, a gout of this Fal. My lord, I was born about three of the pox! for the one or the other plays the rogue clock in the afternoon, with a white head and with my great toe. "T is no matter if I do halt; something a round belly. For my voice, I have I have the wars for my colour, and my pension lost it with hallooing and singing of anthems. shall seem the more reasonable. A good wit To approve my youth further, I will not. The will make use of anything. I will turn distruth is, I am only old in judgement and un- (215 eases to commodity.
(Exit. 278 derstanding; and he that will caper with me for a thousand marks, let him lend me the SCENE (III. York. The Archbishop's palace.] money, and have at him! For the box of the ear that the Prince gave you, he gave it like a
Enter the ARCHBISHOP, the Lords HASTINGS,
MOWBRAY, and BARDOLPH. rude prince, and you took it like a sensible lord. I have check'd him for it, and the young Arch. Thus have you heard our cause and lion repents; marry, not in ashes and sack- known our means; cloth, but in new silk and old sack.
And, my most noble friends, I pray you all, Ch. Just. Well, God send the Prince a better Speak plainly your opinions of our hopes. companion !
And first, Lord Marshal, what say you to it? Fal. God send the companion a better prince ! Mowb. 'I well allow the occasion of our I cannot rid my hands of him.
arms; Ch. Just. Well, the King hath sever'd you But gladly would be better satisfied and Prince Harry). I hear you are going with How in our means we should advance ourLord John of Lancaster against the Archbishop
selves and the Earl of Northumberland.
To look with forehead bold and big enough Fal. Yea, I thank your pretty sweet wit for Upon the power and puissance of the King. it. But look you pray, all you that kiss iny Hast. Our present musters grow upon the lady Peace at home, that our armies join not in
file a hot day; for, by the Lord, I take but two To five and twenty thousand men of choice ; shirts out with me, and I mean not to sweat And our supplies live largely in the hope extraordinarily. If it be a hot day, and [235 Of great Northumberland, whose bosom burns I brandish anything but a bottle, I would I With an incensed fire of injuries. might never spit white again. There is not a L. Bard. The question then, Lord Hastdangerous action can peep out his head but I ings, standeth thus : am thrust upon it. Well, I cannot last ever ; Whether our present five and twenty thousand but it was alway yet the trick of our English (240 May hold
up head without Northumberland ? nation, if they have a good thing, to make it Hast. With him, we may. too common. If ye will needs say I am an old L. Bard. Yea, marry, there's the point ! man, you should give me rest. I would to God But if without him we be thought too feeble, my name were not so terrible to the enemy as My judgement is, we should not step too far 29 it is. I were better to be eaten to death with a Till we had his assistance by the hand; rust than to be scoured to nothing with per- For, in a theme so bloody-fac'd as this, petual motion.
Conjectòre, expectation, and surmise Ch. Just. Well, be honest, be honest; and Of aids incertain should not be admitted). God bless your expedition !
Arch. 'Tis very true, Lord Bardolph ; for Fal. Will your lordship lend me a thousand
indeed pound to furnish me forth?
It was young Hotspur's case at Shrewsbury, Ch. Just. Not a penny, not a penny; you are L. Bard. It was, my lord; who lind himtoo impatient to bear crosses. Fare you well!
self with hope, Commend me to my cousin Westmoreland. Eating the air, and promise of supply,
[Exeunt Chief Justice and Servant.] Flatt'ring himself in project of a power Fal. If I do, fillip me with a three-man Much smaller than the smallest of his thoughts ; beetle. A man can no more separate age and And so, with great imagination covetousness thay 'a can part young limbs and Proper to madmen, led his powers to death, lechery; but the gout galls the one, and the And winking leap'd into destruction. pox pinches the other, and so both the degrees Hast. But, by your leave, it never yet did prevent my curses. Boy!
hurt Page. Sir?
To lay down likelihoods and forms of hope. 26
The commonwealth is sick of their own choice;
thou fond many, with what loud applaus Didst thou beat heaven with blessing Boling
broke, Before he was what thou wouldst have him be: And being now trimm'd in thine own desires, Thou, beastly feeder, art so full of him, That thou provok'st thyself to cast him up. So, so, thou common dog, didst thou disgorge Thy glutton bosom of the royal Richard; And now thou wouldst eat thy dead vomit up, And howl'st to find it. What trust is in these
times ? They that, when Richard liv'd, would have hito
die, Are now become enamour'd on his grave. Thou, that threw'st dust upon his goodly head When through proud London he came sighing on After the admired heels of Bolingbroke,
“O earth, yield us that king again, And take thou this !"" O thoughts of men ac
curs'd! Past and to come seems best; things present
worst.) Mowb. Shall we go draw our numbers and set Hast. We are Time's subjects, and Time bids be gone.
L. Bard. (Yes, if this present quality of war Needed the instant action. A cause on foot Lives so in hope as in an early spring We see the appearing buds, which to prove
fruit Hope gives not so much warrant, as despair 40 That frosts will bite them. When we mean to
build, We first survey the plot, then draw the model; And when we see the figure of the house, Then must we rate the cost of the erection ; Which if we find outweighs ability, What do we then but draw anew the model In fewer offices, or at least desist To build at all ? Much more, in this great
work, Which is almost to pluck a kingdom down And set another up, should we survey The plot of situation and the model, Consent upon a sure foundation, Question surveyors, know our own estate, How able such a work to undergo, To weigh against his opposite ; or else) We fortify in paper and in figures, Using the names of men instead of men; Like one that draws the model of a house Beyond his power to build it; who, half
through, Gives o'er and leaves his part-created cost A naked subject to the weeping clouds And waste for churlish winter's tyranny. Hast. Grant that our hopes, yet likely of
fair birth, Should be still-born, and that we now possess'd The utmost man of expectation, I think we are a body strong enough, Even as we are, to equal with the King. L. Bard. What, is the King but five and
twenty thousand ? Hast. To us no more; nay, not so much,
Lord Bardolph. For his divisions, as the times do brawl, Are in three heads : one power against the
If he should do so, To French and Welsh he leaves his back un
arm'd, They baying him at the heels. Never fear
that. L. Bard. Who is it like should lead his forces
hither? Hast. The Duke of Lancaster and Westmore
land ; Against the Welsh, himself and Harry Mon
mouth; But who is substituted 'gainst the French, I have no certain notice.
(Arch. And the occasion of our
SCENE I. (London. A street.] Enter Hostess, Fang (and his Boy with her.]
and SNARE following. Host. Master Fang, have you ent’red the action ? Fang. It is ent'red.
Host. Where's your yeoman? Is it a lusty yeoman? Will 'a stand to 't?
Fang. Sirrah, where 's Snare ?
Fang. Snare, we must arrest Sir John Falstaff.
Host. Yea, good Master Snare ; I have ent'red him and all.
Snare. It may chance cost some of us our lives, for he will stab.
Host. Alas the day! take heed of him. He stabb'd me in mine own house, and that) most beastly. In good faith, 'a cares not what mis chief he does, if his weapon be out. He will foin like any devil; he will spare neither man, woman, nor child.
Fang. If I can close with him, I care not for his thrust.
Host. No, nor I neither. I'll be at your elbow.
Fang. An I but fist him once; an 'a come but within my vice,
Host. I am undone by his going ; I warrant you, he's an infinitive thing upon my score. Good Master Fang, hold him sure, Good Master
Snare, let him not scape. 'A comes continuantly to Pie-corner - saving your manhoods to buy a saddle; and he is indited to dinner to the Lubber's-head in Lumbert street, to (30 Master Smooth's the silk-man. I pray you, since my exion is ent’red and my case so openly known to the world, let him be brought in to his answer. A hundred mark is a long one for a poor lone woman to bear; and I have borne, 35 and borne, and borne, and have been fubb'd off, and fubb'd off, and fubb'd off, from this day to that day, that it is a shame to be thought on. There is no honesty in such dealing; unless a woman should be made an ass and a [40 beast, to bear every knave's wrong. Yonder he comes; and that arrant malmsey-nose knave, Bardolph, with him. Do your offices, do your offices, Master Fang and Master Snare; do me, do me, do me your offices.
Enter FalstAFF, BARDOLPH, and PAGE. Fal. How now! whose mare's dead? What's the matter ?
Fang. (Sir John,] I arrest you at the suit of Mistress Quickly.
Fal. Away, varlets! Draw, Bardolph; cut me off the villain's head. Throw the quean in the channel.
Host. Throw me in the channel! I'll throw thee in the channel. Wilt thou ? wilt thou ? thou bastardly rogue! Murder, murder! Ah, thou honey-suckle villain! wilt thou kill God's officers and the King's? Ah, thou honey-seed rogue! thou art a honey-seed, a man-queller, and a woman-queller.
Fal. Keep them off, Bardolph.
Host. Good people, bring a rescue or two. Thou wo't, wo't thou? thou wo't, wo 't ta ? Do, do, thou rogue! do, thou hempseed !
Page. Away, you scullion! you rampallian! you fustilarian ! I'll tickle your catastrophe. Enter the LORD CHIEF JUSTICE, and his men.
Ch. Just. What is the matter? Keep the peace here, ho !
Host. Good my lord, be good to me. I beseech you, stand to me. Ch. Just. How now, Sir John! what, are
you brawling here? Doth this become your place, your time and
business? You should have been well on your way to York. Stand from him, fellow; wherefore hang'st
thon upon him ? Host. O my most worshipful lord, an 't please your Grace, I am a poor widow of Eastcheap, and he is arrested at my suit.
Ch. Just. For what sum ?
Host. It is more than for some, my lord ; it is for all I have. He hath eaten me out of honse and home; he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his : but I will have some of it out again, or I will ride thee o' nights like the mare.
Fal. I think I am as like to ride the mare, if I have any vantage of ground to get up.
Ch. Just. How comes this, Sir John? Fie! what man of good temper would endure this tempest of exclamation ? Are you not asham'd to enforce a poor widow to so rough a course to come by her own ?
Ful. What is the gross sum that I owe thee?
Host. Marry, if thou wert an honest man, thyself and the money too. Thou didst swear to me upon a parcel-gilt goblet, sitting in my Dolphin chamber, at the round table, by a seacoalfire, upon Wednesday in Wheeson week, (os when the Prince broke thy head for liking his father to a singing-man of Windsor, thou didst swear to me then, as I was washing thy wound, to marry me and make me my lady thy wife. Canst thou deny it? Did not goodwife Keech, (100 the butcher's wife, come in then and call me gossip Quickly? coming in to borrow a mess of vinegar, telling us she had a good dish of prawns; whereby thou didst desire to eat some; whereby I told thee they were ill for a green (106 wound? And didst thou not, when she was gone downstairs, desire me to be no more so familiarity with such poor people, saying that ere long they should call me madam And didst thou not kiss me and bid me fetch thee thirty shillings? I put thee now to thy bookoath. Deny it, if thou canst.
Fal. My lord, this is a poor mad soul; and she says up and down the town that her eldest son is like you. She hath been in good case, and the truth is, poverty hath distracted her. But for these foolish officers, I beseech you
may have redress against them.
Ch. Just. Sir John, Sir John, I am well acquainted with your manner of wrenching the true cause the false way. It is not a confident brow, nor the throng of words that come with such more than impudent sauciness from you, (123 can thrust me from a level consideration. You have, as it appears to me, practis'd upon the easy-yielding spirit of this woman, and made her serve your uses both in purse and in person.
Host. Yea, in truth, my lord.
Ch. Just. Pray thee, peace. Pay her the debt you owe her, and unpay the villainy you have done with her. The one you may do with sterling money, and the other with current repent
Fal. My lord, I will not undergo this sneap without reply. You call honourable boldness impudent sauciness; if a man will make curtsy and say nothing, he is virtuous. No, my lord, my humble duty rememb’red, I will not be your suitor. I say to you, I do desire deliverance from these officers, being upon hasty employment in the King's affairs.
Ch. Just. You speak as having power to do wrong ; but answer in the effect of your reputation, and satisfy the poor woman. Fal. Come hither, hostess.
Enter GOWER. Ch. Just. Now, Master Gower, what news ? Gow. The King, my lord, and Harry Prince
of Wales Are near at hand. The rest the paper tells.
Fal. As I am a gentleman.
Fal. As I am a gentleman. Come, no more words of it.
Host. By this heavenly ground I tread on, I must be fain to pawn both my plate and the tapestry of my dining-chambers.
Fal. Glasses, glasses, is the only drinking ; and for thy walls, a pretty slight drollery, or the story of the Prodigal, or the German hunting in water-work, is worth a thousand of these bed-hangers and these fly-bitten tapestries. Let it be ten pound, if thou canst. Come, an 't were not for thy humours, there's not a bet-100 ter wench in England. Go, wash thy face, and draw the action. Come, thou must not be in this humour with me ; dost not know me? Come, come, I know thou wast set on to this. 105
Host. Pray thee, Sir John, let it be but twenty nobles. I' faith, I am loath to pawn my plate, so God save me, la !
Fal. Let it alone;' I'll make other shift. You 'll be a fool still.
Host. Well, you shall have it, though I pawn my gown. I hope you 'll come to supper. You 'll pay me altogether?
Fal. Will I live? [To Bardolph.] Go, with her, with her; hook on, book on.
Host. Will you have Doll Tearsheet meet you at supper? Fal. No more words ; let's have her.
[Exeunt Hostess, Bardolph, Offi
cers, and Boy.] Ch. Just. I have heard better news. Fal. What's the news, my lord ? Ch. Just. Where lay the King to-night? Gow. At [Basingstoke), my lord. Fal. I hope, my lord, all 's well. What is the news, my lord ?
Ch. Just. Come all his forces back ?
fifteen hundred foot, five hundred horse, Are march'd up to my Lord of Lancaster. Against Northumberland and the Archbishop. Fal. Comes the King back from Wales, my
noble lord ? Ch. Just. You shall have letters of me pre
sently. Come, go along with me, good Master Gower.
Fal. My lord !
with me to dinner ?
Gow. I must wait upon my good lord here; I thank you, good Sir John.
Ch. Just. Sir John, you loiter here too long, being you are to take soldiers up in counties as you go. Fal. Will you sup with me, Master Gower ?
Ch. Just. What foolish master taught you these manners, Sir John?
Fal. Master Gower, if they become me not, he was a fool that taught them me. This is the right fencing grace, my lord ; tap for tap, and so part fair.
Ch. Just. Now the Lord lighten thee! thou art a great fool.
SCENE II. (London. Another street.]
Enter PRINCE HENRY and Porns. Prince. Before God, I am exceeding weary.
Poins. Is 't come to that? I had thought weariness durst not have attach'd one of so high blood.
Prince. Faith, it does me, though it discolours the complexion of my greatness to aeknowledge it. Doth it not show vilely in me to desire small beer?
Poins. Why, a prince should not be so loosely studied as to remember so weak a composition.
Prince. Belike then my appetite was not princely got, for, by my troth, I do now remember the poor creature, small beer. But, indeed, these humble considerations make me out of love with my greatness. What a disgrace is it to me to remember thy name! or to s know thy face to-morrow! or to take note how many pair of silk stockings thou hast, viz., these, and those that were thy peach-colour'd ones! or to bear the inventory of thy shirts, as, one for superfluity, and another for use ! [s But that the tennis-court-keeper knows better than I; for it is a low ebb of linen with thee when thou keepest not racket there; as thou hast not done a great while, because the rest of the low countries have made a shift to) eat (=s up thy holland. And God knows, whether those that bawl out the ruins of thy, linen shall inherit his kingdom: but the midwives say the children are not in the fault; whereupon the world increases, and kindreds are mightily strengthened.
Poins. How ill it follows, after you have labour'd so hard, you should talk so idlely ! Tell me, how many good young princes would do so, their fathers being so sick as yours at this time is ?
Prince. Shall I tell thee one thing, Poins ? »
Poins. Yes, faith ; and let it be an excellent good thing.
Prince. It shall serve among wits of no higher breeding than thine.
Poins. Go to; I stand the push of your one thing that you will tell.
Prince. Marry, I tell thee, it is not meet that I should be sad, now my father is sick; albeit I could tell to thee, as to one it pleases me, for fault of a better, to call my friend, I could be sad, and sad indeed too.
Poins. Very hardly upon such a subject.
Prince. By this hand, thou think'st me as far in the devil's book as thou and Falstaff for obduracy and persistency. Let the end try the man. But I tell thee, my heart bleeds inwardly that my father is so sick; and keeping such vile company as thou art hath in reason taken from me all ostentation of sorrow.
Poins. The reason ?
Prince. What wouldst thou think of me, if I should weep?
Poins. I would think thee a most princely hypocrite. Prince. It would be every man's thought;
and thou art a blessed fellow to think as every finger but they say,
There's some of the man thinks. Never a man's thought in the King's blood spilt." * How comes that?" (124 world keeps the road-way better than thine. says he, that takes upon him not to conceive. Every man would think me an hypocrite in- The answer is as ready as a borrower's cap, deed. And what accites your most worshipful “I
am the King's poor cousin, sir." thought to think so ?
Prince. Nay, they will be kin to us, or they Poins. Why, because you have been so lewd will fetch it from Japhet. But the letter: and so much engraffed to Falstaff.
“Sir John Falstaff, knight, to the son of Prince. And to thee.
the King nearest his father, Harry Prince of Poins. By this light, I am well spoke on; Wales, greeting." I can hear it with mine own ears. The worst Poins. Why, this is a certificate. that they can say of me is that I am a second Prince. Peace ! brother and that I am a proper fellow of my “I will imitate the honourable Romans in hands, and those two things, I confess, I cannot brevity." help. By the mass, here comes Bardolph. Poins. He sure means brevity in breath, Enter BARDOLPH and PAGE.
(Prince.) I commend me to thee, I comPrince. And the boy that I gave Falstaff. mend thee, and I leave thee. Be not too famil'A had him from me Christian; and look, if iar with Poins ; for he misuses thy favours so the fat villain have not transform'd him ape. much, that he swears thou art to marry his Bard. God save your Grace!
sister Nell. Repent at idle times as thou mayPrince. And yours, most noble Bardolph! 79 est; and so, farewell.
Poins. Come, you virtuous ass, you bashful “Thine, by yea and no, which is as much fool, must you be blushing? Wherefore blush
as to say, as thou usest him, JACK you now? What a maidenly man-at-arins are
FALSTAFF with my familiars, JOHN you become! Is 't snch a matter to get a
with my brothers and sisters, and pottle-pot's maidenhead ?
Sir John with all Europe.” Page. 'A calls me e'en now, my lord, through Poins. My lord, I 'll steep this letter in sack a red lattice, and I could discern no part of his and make him eat it. face from the window. At last I spied his eyes, Prince. That's to make him eat twenty of and methought he had made two holes in his words. But do you use me thus, Ned? the ale-wife's (new) petticoat and so peep'd Must I marry your sister? through.
Poins. God send the wench no worse forPrince. Has not the boy profited ?
tune! But I never said so. Bard. Away, you whoreson upright rabbit, Prince. Well, thus we play the fools with away!
the time, and the spirits of the wise sit in the Page. Away, you rascally Althæa's dream, clouds and mock us. Is your master here in away!
London ? Prince. Instruct us, boy; what dream, boy? Bard. Yea, my lord. Page. Marry, my lord, Althæa dream'd she Prince. Where sups he? Doth the old boar was delivered of a fire-brand ; and therefore I feed in the old frank? call him her dream.
Bard. At the old place, my lord, in EastPrince. A crown's worth of good interpreta- cheap. tion. There 't is, boy.
Prince. What company ? Poins. O, that this [good] blossom could be Page. Ephesians, my lord, of the old church. kept from cankers! Well, there is sixpence to Prince. Sup any women with him ? preserve thee.
Page. None, my lord, but old Mistress Bard. An you do not make him hang'd Quickly and Mistress Doll' Tearsheet. among you, the gallows shall have wrong.
Prince. What pagan may that be? Prince. And how doth thy master, Bar- Page. A proper gentlewoman, sir, and a dolph?
kinswoman of my master's. Bard. Well, my lord. He heard of your Prince. Even such kin as the parish heifers Grace's coming to town. There's a letter for are to the town bull. Shall we steal upon them, you.
Ned, at supper? Poins. Deliver'd with good respect. And Poins. I am your shadow, my lord; I 'll folhow doth the martlemas, your master ? Bard. In bodily health, sir.
Prince. Sirrah, you boy, and Bardolph, no Poins. Marry, the immortal part needs a word to your master that I am yet come to town. physician; but that moves not him. Though There's for your silence. that be sick, it dies not.
Bard, I have no tongue, sir. Prince. I'do allow this wen to be as familiar Page. And for mine, sir, I will govern it. with me as my dog, and he holds his place, Prince. Fare you well; go. (Exeunt Barfor look you how he writes.
dolph and Page.] This Doll Tearsheet should Poins. (Reads.).“ John Falstaff, knight,” be some road. every, man must know that, as oft as he has Poins. I warrant you, as common as the way occasion to name himself; even like those that between Saint Alban's and London. are kin to the King, for they never prick their Prince. How might we see Falstaff bestow