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Vio. There is a fair behaviour in thee, captain ;

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And though that nature with a beauteous wall
Doth oft close in pollution, yet of thee
I will believe thou hast a mind that suits
With this thy fair and outward character
I prithee, and I'll pay thee bounteously,
Conceal me what I am, and be my aid
For such disguise as haply shall become
The form of my intent. I'll serve this duke. 58
Thou shalt present me as an eunuch to him.
It may be worth thy pains, for I can sing
And speak to him in many sorts of music
That will allow me very worth his service.
What else may hap, to time I will commit,
Only shape thou thy silence to my wit.

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Cap. Be you his eunuch, and your mute I'll be.

When my tongue blabs, then let mine eyes not

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Sir To. By this hand, they are scoundrels and substractors that say so of him. Who are they?

Mar. They that add, moreover, he's drunk nightly in your company.

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Sir To. With drinking healths to my niece. I'll drink to her as long as there is a passage in my throat and drink in Illyria. He's a coward and a coystrill that will not drink to my niece till his brains turn o' the toe like a parish-top. What, wench! Castiliano vulgo ! for here comes Sir Andrew Agueface.

Enter SIR ANDREW AGUECHEEK. Sir And. Sir Toby Belch! How now, Toby Belch!

Sir To. Sweet Sir Andrew!

Sir And. Bless you, fair shrew.

Mar. And you too, sir.

Sir To. Accost, Sir Andrew, accost.

Sir And. What's that?

Sir To. My niece's chambermaid.

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Sir

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Sir And. Good Mistress Accost, I desire better acquaintance.

Mar. My name is Mary, sir.

Sir And. Good Mistress Mary Accost,
Sir To. You mistake, knight.

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"Accost" is

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front her, board her, woo her, assail her. Sir And. By my troth, I would not undertake her in this company. Is that the meaning of accost"?

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Mar. Fare you well, gentlemen.

Sir To. An thou let part so, Sir Andrew, would thou mightst never draw sword again.

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Sir To. And I can cut the mutton to 't. Sir And. And I think I have the back-trick simply as strong as any man in Illyria.

Sir To. Wherefore are these things hid? Wherefore have these gifts a curtain before 'em? Are they like to take dust, like Mistress Mall's picture? Why dost thou not go to [135 church in a galliard and come home in a coranto? My very walk should be a jig. I would not so much as make water but in a sink-apace. What dost thou mean? Is it a world to hide virtues in? I did think, by the excel- [149 lent constitution of thy leg, it was form'd under the star of a galliard.

Sir And. Ay, 't is strong, and it does indifferent well in a damn'd colour'd stock. Shall we set about some revels?

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Sir To. What shall we do else? Were we not born under Taurus?

Sir And. Taurus! That's sides and heart. Sir To. No, sir, it is legs and thighs. Let me see thee caper. Ha! Higher! Ha, ha! Excellent! [Exeunt. 151

SCENE IV. [A room in the Duke's palace.] Enter VALENTINE, and VIOLA in man's attire. Val. If the Duke continue these favours towards you, Cesario, you are like to be much advanc'd. He hath known you but three days, and already you are no stranger.

Vio. You either fear his humour or my negligence, that you call in question the continuance of his love. Is he inconstant, sir, in his favours?

Val. No, believe me.

Enter DUKE, CURIO, and Attendants. Vio. I thank you. Here comes the Count. Duke. Who saw Cesario, ho?

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Vio. On your attendance, my lord; here. Duke. Stand you a while aloof. Cesario, Thou know'st no less but all. I have unclasp'd To thee the book even of my secret soul; Therefore, good youth, address thy gait unto

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Sure, my noble lord, If she be so abandon'd to her sorrow As it is spoke, she never will admit me. Duke. Be clamorous and leap all civil bounds Rather than make unprofited return.

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Vio. Say I do speak with her, my lord, what then?

Duke. O, then unfold the passion of my love, Surprise her with discourse of my dear faith. 25 It shall become thee well to act my woes. She will attend it better in thy youth Than in a nuncio's of more grave aspect. Vio. I think not so, my lord. Duke. Dear lad, believe it; For they shall yet belie thy happy years, That say thou art a man. Diana's lip

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Is not more smooth and rubious; thy small

pipe

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--

Is as the maiden's organ, shrill and sound;
And all is semblative a woman's part.
I know thy constellation is right apt
For this affair. Some four or five attend him,
All, if you will; for I myself am best
When least in company. Prosper well in this,
And thou shalt live as freely as thy lord,
To call his fortunes thine.
Vio.
my
To woo your lady, -[aside] yet, a barful strife!
Whoe'er I woo, myself would be his wife.

I'll do

best

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[Exeunt.

SCENE V. [A room in Olivia's house.]

Enter MARIA and CLOWN.

Mar. Nay, either tell me where thou hast been, or I will not open my lips so wide as a bristle may enter, in way of thy excuse. My lady will hang thee for thy absence.

Clo. Let her hang me! He that is well hang'd in this world needs to fear no colours. Mar. Make that good.

Clo. He shall see none to fear.

Mar. A good lenten answer. I can tell thee where that saying was born, of "I fear no colours."

Clo. Where, good Mistress Mary?

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Mar. In the wars; and that may you be bold to say in your foolery.

Clo. Well, God give them wisdom that have it; and those that are fools, let them use their talents.

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Clo. Wit, an't be thy will, put me into good fooling! Those wits, that think they have thee, do very oft prove fools; and I, that am sure I lack thee, may pass for a wise man; for what says Quinapalus? "Better a witty fool than a foolish wit."- God bless thee, [40 lady!

Oli. Take the fool away.

Clo. Do you not hear, fellows? Take away the lady.

Oli. Go to, you 're a dry fool, I'll no more of you; besides, you grow dishonest.

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Clo. Two faults, madonna, that drink and

good counsel will amend; for give the dry fool drink, then is the fool not dry: bid the dishonest man mend himself; if he mend, he is no longer dishonest; if he cannot, let the [~ botcher mend him. Any thing that's mended is but patch'd; virtue that transgresses is but patch'd with sin, and sin that amends is but patch'd with virtue. If that this simple syllogism will serve, so; if it will not, what rem- [5 edy? As there is no true cuckold but calamity, so beauty's a flower. The lady bade take away the fool; therefore, I say again, take her

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Clo. Good madonna, why mournest thou? Oli. Good fool, for my brother's death. Clo. I think his soul is in hell, madonna. Oli. I know his soul is in heaven, fool. Clo. The more fool, madonna, to mourn for your brother's soul being in heaven. Take away the fool, gentlemen.

Oli. What think you of this fool, Malvolio? Doth he not mend?

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Mal. Yes, and shall do till the pangs of death shake him. Infirmity, that decays the wise, doth ever make the better fool.

Clo. God send you, sir, a speedy infirmity, for the better increasing your folly! Sir Toby will be sworn that I am no fox, but he will [ss not pass his word for twopence that you are no fool.

Oli. How say you to that, Malvolio?

Mal. I marvel your ladyship takes delight in such a barren rascal. I saw him put down the other day with an ordinary fool that has [s0 no more brain than a stone. Look you now, he's out of his guard already. Unless you laugh and minister occasion to him, he is gagg'd. I protest, I take these wise men, that crow so at these set kind of fools, no better than the fools' zanies.

Oli. O, you are sick of self-love, Malvolio, and taste with a distemper'd appetite. To be generous, guiltless, and of free disposition, is to take those things for bird-bolts that you deem cannon-bullets. There is no slander [100 in an allow'd fool, though he do nothing but rail; nor no railing in a known discreet man, though he do nothing but reprove.

Clo. Now Mercury endue thee with leasing, for thou speak'st well of fools!

Re-enter MARIA.

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Mar. Madam, there is at the gate a young gentleman much desires to speak with you. Oli. From the Count Orsino, is it?

Mar. I know not, madam. 'Tis a fair young man, and well attended.

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Oli. Who of my people hold him in delay?

Mar. Sir Toby, madam, your kinsman. Oli. Fetch him off, I pray you. He speaks nothing but madman; fie on him! Erit [115 Maria.] Go you, Malvolio; if it be a suit from the Count, I am sick, or not at home, what you will, to dismiss it. (Exit Malvolio.) Now you see, sir, how your fooling grows old, and people dislike it.

Clo. Thou hast spoke for us, madonna, as if thy eldest son should be a fool; whose [120 skull Jove cram with brains! for- here he

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Sir To. Let him be the devil, an he will, I care not; give me faith, say I. Well, it's all [Exit.

one.

Oli. What's a drunken man like, fool? Clo. Like a drown'd man, a fool, and a madman. One draught above heat makes him a fool, the second mads him, and a third [140 drowns him.

Oli. Go thou and seek the crowner and let him sit o' my coz, for he 's in the third degree of drink, he's drown'd. Go, look after him. Clo. He is but mad yet, madonna ; and the fool shall look to the madman. Erit. 148

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Oli. Give me my veil. Come, throw it o'er my face.

We'll once more hear Orsino's embassy.
Enter VIOLA [and Attendants].

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Vio. The honourable lady of the house, which is she?

Oli. Speak to me; I shall answer for her. Your will?

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Vio. Most radiant, exquisite, and unmatchable beauty, I pray you, tell me if this be the lady of the house, for I never saw her. I would be loath to cast away my speech, for besides that it is excellently well penn'd, I have taken great pains to con it. Good beauties, let me [185 sustain no scorn. I am very comptible, even to the least sinister usage.

Oli. Whence came you, sir?

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Vio. I can say little more than I have studied, and that question's out of my part. Good gentle one, give me modest assurance if you be the lady of the house, that I may proceed in my speech.

Oli. Are you a comedian ?

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Vio. No, my profound heart; and yet, by the very fangs of malice I swear, I am not that I play. Are you the lady of the house?

Oli. If I do not usurp myself, I am.

Vio. Most certain, if you are she, you do usurp yourself; for what is yours to bestow is not yours to reserve. But this is from my [200 commission. I will on with my speech in your praise, and then show you the heart of my message.

Oli. Come to what is important in 't. I forgive you the praise.

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Vio. Alas, I took great pains to study it, and 't is poetical.

Oli. It is the more like to be feigned. I pray you, keep it in. I heard you were saucy at my gates, and allow'd your approach rather to [210 wonder at you than to hear you. If you be not mad, be gone. If you have reason, be brief. 'Tis not that time of moon with me to make one in so skipping a dialogue.

Mar. Will you hoist sail, sir? Here lies your

way.

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Vio. No, good swabber, I am to hull here a little longer. Some mollification for your giant, sweet lady. Tell me your mind. I am a mes

senger.

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Oli. Sure, you have some hideous matter to deliver, when the courtesy of it is so fearful. Speak your office.

Vio. It alone concerns your ear. I bring no overture of war, no taxation of homage. I

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Oli. In his bosom! In what chapter of his bosom?

Vio. To answer by the method, in the first of his heart.

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Oli. O, I have read it; it is heresy. Have you no more to say?

Vio. Good madam, let me see your face.

Oli. Have you any commission from your lord to negotiate with my face? You are now out of your text, but we will draw the cur- [250 tain and show you the picture. Look you, sir, such a one I was- this present. Is 't not well done? [Unveiling.] Vio. Excellently done, if God did all. Oli. 'Tis in grain, sir; 't will endure wind and weather.

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Vio. 'Tis beauty truly blent, whose red and white

Nature's own sweet and cunning hand laid on. Lady, you are the cruell'st she alive,

If

you will lead these graces to the grave 260 And leave the world no copy.

Oli. O, sir, I will not be so hard-hearted; I will give out divers schedules of my beauty. It shall be inventoried, and every particle and utensil labell'd to my will: as, item, two lips, indifferent red; item, two grey eyes, with [265 lids to them; item, one neck, one chin, and so forth. Were you sent hither to praise me?

Vio. I see you what you are, you are too proud;

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But, if you were the devil, you are fair.
My lord and master loves you. O, such love
Could be but recompens'd, though you were
crown'd

The nonpareil of beauty!
Oli.
How does he love me?
Vio. With adorations, [with] fertile tears,
With groans that thunder love, with sighs of
fire.

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Oli. Your lord does know my mind; I cannot love him.

Yet I suppose him virtuous, know him noble; Of great estate, of fresh and stainless youth, In voices well divulg'd, free, learn'd, and valiant,

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And in dimension and the shape of nature
A gracious person. But yet I cannot love him.
He might have took his answer long ago.

Vio. If I did love you in my master's flame, With such a suffering, such a deadly life,

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[Exit.

Oli. "What is your parentage?" "Above my fortunes, yet my state is well. I am a gentleman." I'll be sworn thou art. 310 Thy tongue, thy face, thy limbs, actions, and spirit

Do give thee five-fold blazon. Not too fast!
Soft, soft!

Unless the master were the man. How now!
Even so quickly may one catch the plague ?
Methinks I feel this youth's perfections
With an invisible and subtle stealth
To creep in at mine eyes. Well, let it be.
What ho, Malvolio!

Mal.

Re-enter MALVOLIO.

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Here, madam, at your service. Oli. Run after that same peevish messenger,

The County's man. He left this ring behind

him,

Would I or not. Tell him I'll none of it. Desire him not to flatter with his lord,

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