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as she had ta’en the midden into the of ventilation ; so that, on Mr. Colhouse. In the old village of Storna- man's system, he cannot catch cold. way, the inside of the house is the If you do not keep an eye on him, you natural and hereditary place of the will shortly find him swilling water out midden; but were I to tell you how it of a bucket, or in the nearest river ; is accumulated and managed, I should and the next morning he is foundered; tell a tale little fitting for delicate ears and so are you. When he does want and noses.
Pauca verba, as Pistol water, as there is seldom a pail, he is says. In St. Kilda, the same manufac- dragged out by the mane to this river ; ture is also carried on in-doors, but with and if he breaks his knees among the some comparative regard to decency; rocks and stones, he is used to it; or as the floor is only strewed with the else his fraternity is; which is the same daily ashes of the fire, among which thing. It is reckoned politic here to the relics of fish and birds, and other suffer the mud to dry on his legs : and
varia materia,' are suffered to accumu- to pick or examine his feet would be late, till, the depth becoming incon- troublesome. If the thatch is water venient, the Augean heap is carried off tight, so much the better. A hayloft to the field, to make room for a new is a luxury : and as there is no stable stratum. If we except the pig, man lantern, the hay hangs down among appears to be the only animal who is the loose boards upon the candle ; but, naturally fond of dirt, and in whom being damp, there is no danger. The cleanliness, whether of person or dwell- boy goes up to stir it about, and you ing, is matter of compulsion or effort. are covered with dust and chaff. So But I should beg the pig's pardon for is the horse: and as he is not wiped the debasing comparison ; since he is down, and there is no horse-cloth, that solicitous about the cleanliness of his helps to keep hinu warm. Since the nest, at least.
Scottish `reformers pulled down the “ The stable at Houna, considering stalls in their churches, they have prothat it contained nothing at all, had no bably thought them unnecessary in positive demerits: a rare case, I must their stables; but a few saddles and admit. But if, after describing Mrs. pikes and poles and wheelbarrows and Maclarty's kitchen, and after break- horse-collars, with a stray pig, a hen fasting, dining, and sleeping at her and chickens, and a calf, serve, at the hotel, I were not to lead you into the same time, to wedge him up, and to stable of a Highland inn of this class, I prevent him from being dull. It is should be unjust to the fair sex; as it likely that you will object to the sociemust be supposed that this department, ty of half a dozen sharp-horned stirks however indirectly, is under the control and stots ; but what then ? If you and management of Mr. Maclarty, not think it prudent to tie him up, under of the lady. If you should succeed in these circumstances, or because the reaching it
, it must be through a pool house is filled with Highland ponies of mud and water, and other indescrib- justling and squabbling and kicking in ables, and it will be fortunate if there every direction, there is no halter. You are some stepping-stones for yourself: may use your bridle, which he will more fortunate, if your horse does not break; or if you insist on a halter, a trip on them, and souse you with the rope will be found before to-morrow, perfumes of this moat. If he is a tall and made fast round his throat with a horse, not understanding architecture, slip-knot ; so that it is not unlikely you he will knock his head against the will find him hanged the next morning. door-way; and if you have the misfor. If there is a manger, probably the corn tune to carry a portmanteau, as may is put into it: but it is either full of bappen to single gentlemen, he will holes, so that the oats run through, or stick in the passage, and pull off the so high that he cannot reach them. If straps, which there is no saddler to there is a rack, the hay is thrown on mend.
you get in, you find two the ground : which is a great saving ; or three holes in the wall, for the sake because he will spoil balf of it-sand
14 ATHENEUM VOL. 2. 2d series.
that will serve for his bed. That, with planet Venus; and twice as much for
But if you begin with corn, as At this place, the Doctor goes on-
you did he live, what did he do, where was are about to depart in the morning, he born, married, or buried, when did you must not be in haste ; because he build the house, when was it pulled your horse is neither fed nor watered, down, who had ever seen it, whose nor is likely to be, until you do it your grandfathers and grandmothers, whose self. If he is a grey horse, you will great-grandfathers and great-grandfind that he is turned green; and as mothers had ever seen it. Nobody he will become greener every day, since knew any thing, nobody had heard of a curry-comb was never heard of in any thing, except that a piece of green Mr. Maclarty's stable, the prudent turf, as flat and as bare as the back of thing is to paint him green before you my hand, was John o’ Groat's house. begin. A whisp of straw might have Why did they believe in John o'Groat; been substituted, you will think, for the what did they believe of John o'Groat; curry-comb: but the knave trusts that who had told them of John o' Groat, the next shower will do as well. The ånd of John o' Groat's house ; their mane, of course, is matted by the godfathers and their godmothers. I fairies; for how else should it have be- congratulated myself that I had not come so inextricable that the fingers of come from London to see John o' this bare-headed kilted callan will not Groat's house. If the tomb of Ajax make it lie in any direction—even in a and the tomb of Achilles, the Æantion wrong one? If he possessed the luxu- and the Achillejon, had been no more ry of either kind, it is probable he than John o' Groat's house, Jacob Brywould use the one to straighten his own ant would have had a better reason locks, and the other to claw his own than be has ever yet shown for doubthide. When your saddle and bridle ing of the war of Troy. are to be put on, you will find that « Fame is a strange, capricious, unthey have been lying in the dirt all just; unaccountable dame ; not a whit night, as there is no peg to hang them more honest and reasonable than her on : and, in a well-regulated stable, it is sister Fortune. But of all her vagaries, held matter of policy to keep some wild the immortalization of a hero and a colt or filly loose, who walks about in house that never existed is the forethe night, trying to purloin the hay and most. After all, it is of no great concorn of his neighbours, having none of sequence ; for 1 dare say that Ajax his own; so that, if you sleep near it, and Achilles have fully as little enjoyyou are regaled with quarrelling and ment of their tombs in the Troad and kicking and stamping all night. But their deeds in the Iliad, as John o it is time to lock the stable door : yet Groat has of his house and his fame on not till you have paid the breechless the coast of Caithness. It is all, equallout as much for doing nothing, as, in ly, nothing But you and I must be London, would have polished" horse, great noodles to be labouring fo fame, bit, and stirrups, to the lustre of the each in his several vocation, for post
humous fame too, when here is a name cept oakum, which always puzzled more immortal—at least than mine will him. Nature has been very ingenious be, without any trouble; and only a in inventing some animal or other to name; an immortal name without an devour every thing, as if eating was owner ; a vox et præterea nihil, which the sole purpose of creation; to eat will nevertheless be heard of as long as and to be eaten all the business of the that of Erostratus or of Empedocles. universe : and if, as Mr. Humboldt
As Wollaston said long ago, it is says, (credat,) the Gourmets of the now only the five letters of Cæsar's Oroonoko live on clay, as we of the name of which we know, and which we Thames and the Tweed do on beef admire ; and those of John o' Groat's steaks and “ singit sheep heads,” I do are as substantial."
not despair of yet hearing of some creaPass we to another of the Doctor's ad- ture who may feed, like the ostrich, on ventures while navigating Loch Broom. a compote of horse shoes and tenpenny
“ In the night (he tells his friend Sir nails, or perhaps on pureés of grayW. Scott) I was roused by a great wacké and granite. This most amusweight, tumbling, with vast commotion ing and docile and intelligent of all the and outrage, into my birth. Concluding, four-legged tribes has now, however, very logically, that the ship had gone become rare in the Highlands, being to pieces, I put out my hand in some rather suffered than encouraged. The alarm, and laid hold of a pair of horns. Caprine population here, as in Wales, Half asleep, I thought I was already in has undergone the same revolution the hands of Davy Jones ; and both which it experienced in former days at Davy and I were soon upon
the cabin Capri. The gentlemen of Leeds have floor. It proved to be a goat, which been the Tiberiuses of the bearded the men had brought on board that we race, finding that it was all cry and might be sure of milk for our breakfasts. little wool. In those happy days when Unluckily, when it came to be milked, the beaux and the dandies emulated it was discovered to be a he goat; such lions in the length of their manes, was the pastoral knowledge of our when the gallant Lovelace could paboatswain. The animal had found the thetically complain to his mistress that deck cold, and bad scrambled down he had been obliged to wring the dews the companion ladder, whence he thus of the night from his wig, the goat reproposed himself for my bedfellow. A ceived that respect which the persistbedfellow in a birth ought, however, to ence of his buckle merited, and boundbe somewhat more choice ; as there ed from rock to rock, nourishing his are no means of lying “ extrema spon length of hair and careless of future da,” if you chance to disagree. Milk, shaving. But now, alas ! their friends of course, we obtained none from our are all concentrated behind the bar horned friend ; but he paid his pas- and on the episcopal bench'; and the sage, and his diet too by his harlequin wisdom of a few hundred Welsh tricks. His diet, it is true, was rather beards is sufficient to clothe with saheterodox; as it consisted, except on pience all the skulls which flourish in holidays, of kippered salmon, brown the several departments of Westminster. paper, old hoops, carpenter's chips, and Such are the catenations of political pig-tail tobacco. The paper was plun- economy. Often, in contemplating my dered from my specimens; but the de- friend Pogonatus, did I figure to myself predations on the fish became so seri- the quirks and crotchets, the doubtings, ous, that we were obliged to hoist the decisions, the special pleadings and them into the shrouds out of his reach. replies and rejoinders and rebutters, His system of diet was somewhat ex- that lay perdue under his shaggy coat, traordinary, it must be owned; but as while he was unconsciously chewing the universal scavenger, at least of the his quid; only waiting for the fingers vegetable creation, the goat seems to of the barber and a few yards of silk, outdo even the hog. Indeed I never to blaze forth in forensic fire or suffocould discover any thing which our cate us in the murky obscurities of bearded companion would not eat, ex- causistical smoke; to empty our purses
without filling our heads, to get posses- their lives would endure for a thousand sion of our lands, and to bind us within long years.'" the magic circle of that court which With the fearful sound of the last was unquestionably projected by Me- two words in our ears, we again bid thuselah, when men were secure that the learned and jocular Doctor adieu.
THE MISCELLANY. INDIA-RUBBER BLOW-PIPE. the bottle which is the thinnest : and, TIE blow-pipe having become so as the forcing-in of air is slowly con
interesting and important an in- tinued, the blister will be seen to enstrument for experimental purposes, large, until it extends over the whole it may not be unacceptable to receive surface, and the bottle will usually an account of a means of constructing then have acquired a diameter of fourself-acting blow-pipes of India-rubber, teen to seventeen inches: in this state, capable of affording a strong and uni- the blow-pipe bottle being completed, form stream of air, during twenty-five it is unscrewed from the condenser, to sixty minutes, according to the size and the jet-pipe is screwed on in its of the jet. Select at a stationer's bot- place; and now the blow-pipe is ready tles of India-Rubber, varying in for use ; and immediately, on turning weight from half tó three-quar- the stop-cock, the elastic contraction ters of a pound, preferring those of a of the bottle will force out the air in dark hue; a strip of which, when pull- a strong and steady jet, as has been ed out, so as to become very thin, is mentioned above, which will continalmost transparent; and avoid those ue until the bottle is reduced to about bottles of a browner colour, a strip of double its original size; when the conwhich cannot be pulled out so thin as denser may be again applied, and the is mentioned above without breaking. bottle be again distended as before, The bottles selected are to be boiled unless that several bottles have been in water until quite softened, which prepared and charged at first, as is usually occurs after a quarter of an mentioned above. When no longer hour's boiling. A short brass tube, wanted, the bottles should be emptied having a stop-cock on its middle, and of their air, and so may be kept for a screw-tap adapted to screw into a any length of time ready for charging; condensing syringe at one end ; and only observing, that if at any time a having, near to the other end, a milled bottle has lost its pliability, and be projecting rib outside, provided for come hard by keeping, it must be imeach bottle ; and, when these are mersed for a short time in boiling wacooled after the boiling, the ribbed ter before applying the syringe.
The end of a tube is inserted into the neck great portability, and the length and of each India-rubber bottle, and is steadiness of action, of this blow-pipe, firmly secured there, by lapping strong are its great recommendation : it may waxed thread above and below the rib. be used with any of the gases, even
The tube of one of the bottles is explosive mixtures of oxygen and hy. now screwed to the syringe, and air is drogen, the accidental explosion of forced in ; after a few strokes of the which would merely burst and destroy syringe, a blister-like projection will the bottle, without occasioning further be observed to form on that part of mischief.
PAVING OF STREETS--MACADAMU'S ROADS, &c. Granite stone, which is used for like order, are the great objections to paving cart-ways of streets, is the the present pavement. Could it be hardest and most durable material kept as even as when first laid, no betwhich can be generally used ; but the ter road could then be made in narunevennes of the pavement, and the row streets, whence there is much expense of keeping it in something traffick.
The new system of breaking large of the stone may be fixed even with stones into small pieces, will not do the others. If another should happen so well in confined streets, where there to be not so deep as the general run, is much traffick, for the frequency of more loose ground is to be added, só opening the ground to repar pipes, as to raise it up to an equal level. would always keep the road in a state Then comes the rammer to beat them of old and new, or firm and loose. down firm : a slight blow sinks the Not only that, but if not kept wet the the stone which has the most loose dust would be a greater annoyance dirt under, and it takes, perhaps, three than the present rough pavement. or four heavy ones to knock down
What makes the present paved the one which has little or none under streets the most objectionable, is, that it. Now, with an equal weight on they are continually in a state of hills these, for instance, a loaded waggon, and holes. The pavement does not will not the first stone which has had become so from wear; the stones have but a slight ramming sink much more not wore away, for you may invaria- than the other ? Why, in fact, the bly see, in every street where there is present system of paving is nothing much traffick, that about a week or more than putting the ground into a two after new pavement is done, it is hard and soft, or hills and holes, and as uneven as almost any of the old. placing stones upon it to prevent our
Now this I think, may be remedied seeing or believing that it is so. by a more careful and judicions mode Now, the amendments in paving in arranging and squaring of the stones, which I suggest, are first, to leave off and in fixing them down. In the first ramming the stones, and to ram the place, the present way of arranging ground instead on which the stones them is, to put together little and big are to be placed to precisely the same ones, just as may happen ; one may form that you intend the top of the be twelve inches in length and the pavement to be ; second, to place tonext one only six. The one which gether all the stones which are exactly stands only upon six inches of ground, of one size ; fourth, the bottom, or will sink further in with a heavy weight bed, to be perfectly flat or square ; that the other, which stands on twelve then set them on this hard-rammed inches.
ground, and you will seldom see paIn the second place, there is not ving in hills and holes. much attention paid to the squaring of For example, suppose that such the bottom part, or bed of the stone. squared stones were placed on the Now, suppose two stones to be togeth- top on any good hard road without at of an equal size, the one quite square, all loosening of it, would not the paveor flat, at the bottom, and the other ment be firmer and less likely to sink to be pointed like a wedge, would not in holes than if the ground were peckan equal weight on the top press one ed up and the stone rammed ? Recolfurther into the earth than the other? lect, the knocking of them down does
In the third place, the present way not make them harder ; it is only done of fixing them down is, first, to loosen to make the ground harder on which the ground on which they are to be they stand. Surely, then, it would be fixed. If one of them should be much more effectually done by beating it deeper than another, then to scrach down hard before the stones are put away the loose ground, so as the top upon it.
Aug. 11, 1824.
ANTI-ANIMAL SOCIETY. A new society of Christians has One curious thing has resulted from been formed at Manchester, one of this carcinophobia of new Christians, whose tenets is to abstain entirely from which ought to be recorded. They vcery kind of animal food,which they have all found their health, strength, consider themselves bound to do, from and intellect improved by the new their particular interpretation of the regimen, which many religious percommand, “ Thou shalt not kill.” sons have ascribed to the Divine fa