1647 "CHRIST GAVE ME HIS LIGHT"

13

mentally. My desires after the Lord grew stronger, and zeal in the pure knowledge of God, and of Christ alone, without the help of any man, book, or writing. For though I read the Scriptures that spoke of Christ and of God; yet I knew Him not, but by revelation, as He who hath the key did open, and as the Father of Life drew me to his Son by his Spirit. Then the Lord gently led me along, and let me see his love, which was endless and eternal, surpassing all the knowledge that men have in the natural state, or can obtain from history or books; and that love let me see myself, as I was without him. I was afraid of all company, for I saw them perfectly where they were, through the love of God, which let me see myself. I had not fellowship with any people, priests, or professors, or any sort of separated people, but with Christ, who hath the key, and opened the door of Light and Life unto me. I was afraid of all carnal talk and talkers, for I could see nothing but corruptions, and the life lay under the burthen of corruptions.

When I myself was in the deep, shut up under all, I could not believe that I should ever overcome; my troubles, my sorrows, and my temptations were so great, that I thought many times I should have despaired, I was so tempted. But when Christ opened to me, how He was tempted by the same devil, and overcame him and bruised his head, and that through him and his power, light, grace, and Spirit, I should overcome also, I had confidence in him; so He it was that opened to me, when I was shut up, and had no hope nor faith. Christ, who had enlightened me, gave me his light to believe in; he gave me hope, which he himself revealed in me, and he gave me His Spirit and grace, which I found sufficient in the deeps and in weakness. Thus,

14

HOW FOX OVERCAME

1647

in the deepest miseries, and in the greatest sorrows and temptations, that many times beset me, the Lord in his mercy did keep me.

"Two Thirsts in Me."

I found that there were two thirsts in me; the one after the creatures, to get help and strength there; and the other after the Lord, the Creator, and his Son Jesus Christ. I saw all the world could do me no good; if I had had a king's diet, palace, and attendance, all would have been as nothing; for nothing gave me comfort, but the Lord by his power. I saw professors, priests, and people, were whole and at ease in that condition which was my misery; and they loved that which I would have been rid of. But the Lord stayed my desires upon himself, from whom came my help, and my care was cast upon him alone. Therefore, all wait patiently upon the Lord, whatsoever condition you be in; wait in the grace and truth that came by Jesus: for if ye so do, there is a promise to you, and the Lord God will fulfil it in you. Blessed are all they that do indeed hunger and thirst after righteousness, they shall be satisfied with it. I have found it so, praised be the Lord who filleth with it, and satisfieth the desires of the hungry soul.

Again, I heard a voice which said, "Thou serpent thou dost seek to destroy the life, but canst not; for the sword which keepeth the tree of life, shall destroy thee." So Christ, the Word of God, that bruised the head of the serpent, the destroyer, preserved me; my inward mind being joined to his good Seed, that bruised the head of this serpent, the destroyer. This inward life sprung up in me, to answer all the opposing professors and priests, and brought Scriptures to my memory to refute them with.

1647

FOX SEES GOD'S LOVE

15

At another time, I saw the great love of God, and I was filled with admiration at the infinitude of it; I saw what was cast out from God, and what entered into God's kingdom; and how by Jesus, the opener of the door, with his heavenly key, the entrance was given; and I saw death, how it had passed upon all men, and oppressed the seed of God in man, and in me; and how I in the seed came forth, and what the promise was to. Yet it was so with me, that there seemed to be two pleading in me; questionings arose in my mind about gifts and prophecies; and I was tempted again to despair, as if I had sinned against the Holy Ghost. I was in great perplexity and trouble for many days; yet I gave up myself to the Lord still.

In Great Perplexity.

One day when I had been walking solitarily abroad, and was come home, I was wrapped up in the love of God, so that I could not but admire the greatness of his love. While I was in that condition, it was opened unto me by the eternal light and power, and I saw clearly therein, "that all was done, and to be done, in and by Christ; and how he conquers and destroys this tempter, the Devil, and all his works, and is above him; and that all these troubles were good for me, and temptations for the trial of my faith, which Christ had given me." The Lord opened me, that I saw through all these troubles and temptations; my living faith was raised, that I saw all was done by Christ, the life, and my belief was in Him. When at any time my condition was veiled, my secret belief was stayed firm, and hope underneath held me, as an anchor in the bottom of the sea, and anchored my immortal soul to its Bishop, causing it to swim above

16

THE INVISIBLE SPIRIT

1647

the sea, the world, where all the raging waves, foul weather, tempests, and temptations are.

"As the Light Appeared."

But, O! then did I see my troubles, trials, and temptations more clearly than ever I had done. As the light appeared, all appeared that is out of the light; darkness, death, temptations, the unrighteous, the ungodly; all was manifest and seen in the light. After this, a pure fire appeared in me; then I saw how he sat as a refiner's fire and as fullers' soap ;-then the spiritual discerning came into me, by which I did discern my own thoughts, groans, and sighs; and what it was that veiled me, and what it was that opened me. That which could not abide in the patience, nor endure the fire, in the light I found it to be the groans of the flesh, that could not give up to the will of God; which had so veiled me, that I could not be patient in all trials, troubles, and perplexities;—could not give up self to die by the cross, the power of God, that the living and quickened might follow him; and that that which would cloud and veil from the presence of Christ-that which the sword of the Spirit cuts down, and which must die, might not be kept alive.

I discerned also the groans of the Spirit, which opened me, and made intercession to God; in which Spirit is the true waiting upon God, for the redemption of the body and of the whole creation. By this Spirit, in which the true sighing is, I saw over the false sighings and groanings. By this invisible Spirit I discerned all the false hearing, the false seeing, and the false smelling which was above the Spirit, quenching and grieving it; and that all they that were there, were in confusion and deceit, where the false asking and praying is, in deceit, in that nature and tongue that takes God's holy name in

1647

WHY FOX WAS TEMPTED

17

vain, wallows in the Egyptian sea, and asketh, but hath not; for they hate his light and resist the Holy Ghost; turn grace into wantonness, and rebel against the Spirit; and are erred from the faith they should ask in, and from the Spirit they should pray by. He that knoweth these things in the true Spirit, can witness them.

"The Steeple-House."

I was still under great temptations sometimes, and my inward sufferings were heavy; but I could find none to open my condition to but the Lord alone, unto whom I cried night and day. I went back into Nottinghamshire, and there the Lord showed me that the natures of those things, which were hurtful without, were within, in the hearts and minds of wicked men. The natures of dogs, swine, vipers, of Sodom and Egypt, Pharaoh, Cain, Ishmael, Esau, &c.; the natures of these I saw within, though people had been looking without. I cried to the Lord, saying, "Why should I be thus, seeing I was never addicted to commit those evils?" and the Lord answered, "That it was needful I should have a sense of all conditions, how else should I speak to all conditions!" and in this I saw the infinite love of God. I saw also that there was an ocean of darkness and death; but an infinite ocean of light and love, which flowed over the ocean of darkness. In that also I saw the infinite love of God, and I had great openings.

steeple-house in Mans"That which people And as the Lord spoke

And as I was walking by the field, the Lord said unto me, trample upon, must be thy food." he opened it to me, that people and professors trampled upon the life, even the life of Christ; they fed upon words, and fed one another with words; but they trampled upon the life; trampled underfoot the blood

B