HASTINGS...

So then, like an experienced general, you attack them on every quarter. If you find their reafon manageable, you attack it with your philofophy; if you find they have no reason, you attack them with this. Here's your health, my philofopher. (drinks)

HARDCASTLE.

Good, very good, thank you; ha, ha. Your Generalship puts me in mind of Prince Eugene, when he fought the Turks at the battle of Belgrade. You fhall hear..

MARLOW.

Inftead of the battle of Belgrade. I believe it's almoft time to talk about fupper. What has your philofophy got in the houfe for fupper?

HARD CASTLE.

For Supper, Sir! (afide) Was ever such a request to a man in his own houfe!

MARLO W.

Yes, Sir, fupper Sir; I begin to feel an appetite. I fhall make devilish work to-night in the larder, I. promise you.

HARDCASTLE.

(Afide) Such a brazen dog fure never my eyes beheld. (to him) Why really, Sir, as for fupper I can't well tell. My, Dorothy, and the cook maid, fettle these things between them. I leave these kind of things entirely to them.

MARLOW.

You do, do you?

HARDCAST L E.

Entirely. By-the-bye, I believe they are in actual confultation upon what's for fupper this moment in the kitchen,

MARLO W.

Then I beg they'll admit me as one of their privy

council.

council. It's a way I have got. When I travel, I always chufe to regulate my own fupper. Let the cook be called. No offence I hope, Sir...

HARD CASTLE.

O no, Sir, none in the leaft'; yet I don't know how our Bridget, the cook maid, is not very communicative upon thefe occafions. Should we fend for her, fhe might fcold us all out of the house.

HASTINGS.

Let's fee your lift of the larder then. I ask it as a favour. I always match my appetite to my bill of fare.

MARLO W

(To Hardcastle, who looks at them them with sur-. prize) Sir, he's very right, and it's my way too.

7

HARD CASTLE.

I

Sir, you have a right to command here. Here, T Roger, bring us the bill of fare for to night's fupper. I believe it's drawn out. Your manner, Mr. Haflings, puts me in mind of my uncle, Colonel Wallop. It was a faying of his, that no man was fure of his fupper till he had eaten it.

HASTINGS.

(Afide) All upon the high ropes! His uncle a Colonel! We fhall foon hear of his mother being a juftice of peace. But let's hear the bill of fare. J-

MARLO W.

(Perufing) What's here? For the first courfe, for the fecond courfe; for the the defert. The devil, Sir, do you think we have brought down the whole Joi ners Company, or the Corporation of Bedford, to eat up fuch a fupper? Two or three little things, clean and comfortable, will dod

HASTINGS.

But, let's hear it.

TЯAM E 2

MARLOW.

MARLO W..

(Reading) For the first courfe at the top, a pig,

and pruin fauce.

HASTINGS.

Damn your pig, I fay.

MARLOW.

And damn your pruin fauce, fay I

HARD CASTLE.

And yet, gentlemen, to men that are hungry, pig, with pruin fauce, is very good eating.

MARLOW.

At the bottom, a calve's tongue and brains.

HASTINGS,

Let your brains be knock'd out, my good Sir, I don't like them.

MARLOW,

Or you may clap them on a plate by themselves. I do.

HARDCASTLE.

(Afide) Their impudence confounds me. (to them). Gentlemen, you are my guefts, make what alterations you please. Is there any thing else you wish to retrench or alter, gentlemen?

MARLO W.

Item. A pork pie, a boiled rabbet and faufages, a florentine, a fhaking pudding, and a difh of tiff-taff-taffety cream!

HASTINGS.

Confound your made difhes, I shall be as much at a lofs in this houfe as at a green and yellow dinner at the French ambaffador's table. I'm for plain eating.

HARDCASTLE..

I'm forry, gentlemen, that I have nothing you like, but it there be any thing you have a particular fancy to MARLOW.

MARLOW.

Why, really, Sir, your bill of fare is fo exquifite, that any one part of it is full as good as another. Send us what you please. So much for fupper. And now to fee that our beds are air'd, and properly taken care of.

HARDCASTLE. I entreat you'll leave all that to me. You fhall not stir a step.

MARLO W.

Leave that to you! I proteft, Sir, you must excufe me, I always look to these things myself.

HARDCASTLE.

I must infist, Sir, you'll make yourself eafy on that head.

MARLO W.

You fee I'm refolved on it. (afide) A very troublesome fellow this, as ever I met with.

HARDCASTLE.

Well, Sir, I'm refolved at least to attend you. (afide) This may be modern modefty, but I never faw any thing look fo like old-fashioned impudence. [Exeunt Marlow and Hardcastle.

HASTINGS folus.

HASTINGS.

So I find this fellow's civilities begin to grow troublesome. But who can be angry at thofe affiduities which are meant to please him? Ha! what do I fee? Mifs Neville, by all that's happy!

Enter

Enter, Mifs NEVILLE..

CLS P Mifs NE VILLE.

T

dear Haftings! To what unexpected good fortune to what accident am I to afcribe this happy meeting?

HASTINGS.

Rather let me afk the fame queftion, as I could never have hoped to meet my dearest Conftance at an inn.

Mifs NE VILLE.

An inn! fure you mistake! my aunt, my guar dian, lives here. What could induce you to think this houfe an inn?

HASTING S

My friend, Mr. Marlow, with whom I came. down, and I, have been fent here as to an inn, I affure you. A young fellow whom we accidentally met at a house hard by directed us hither.

Mifs NEVILLE.

Certainly it must be one of my hopeful coufin's tricks, of whom you have heard me talk fo often, ha ha ha! ha!

HASTINGS2

He whom your aunt intends for you? He of whom I have fuch juft apprehenfions?

Mifs NE VILLE

You have nothing to fear from him, I affure you. You'd adore him if you knew how heartily he defpifes me. My aunt knows it too, and has undertaken to court me for him, and actually begins to think she has made a conquest.