to hide, to fling myself on the floor, to cover my face, to burrow in a dark corner. Useless attempts ! The eyes that looked in upon me had powers beyond my powers. I felt sometimes conscious of the derisive smile with which my miserable subterfuges were regarded. They were all in vain. And what was still more strange was that I had not energy to think of attempting any escape. My was as lonely as if I had been in a wilderness. I was indeed in a wilderness of men, who were as though they did not see me, passing without even a look of human fellowship, each absorbed in his own concerns. I walked and walked till my limbs trembled under me, from one end to another of the great streets, up and down, and round and round. But no one said, How are you? Whence come you? What are you doing? steps, though watched, were not At length in despair I turned restrained in any way, so far as I again to the blank and miserable was aware. The gates of the city room, which had looked to me like stood open on all sides, free to a cell in a prison. I had willfully those who went as well as to those made no note of its situation, try- who came; but I did not think of ing to avoid rather than to find it, flight. Of flight! Whence should but my steps were drawn thither I go from myself? Though that against my will. I found myself horrible inspection was from the retracing my steps, mounting the eyes of some unseen being, it was long stairs, passing the same peo- in some mysterious way connected ple, who streamed along with no with my own thinking and reflecrecognition of me, as I desired tions, so that the thought came nothing to do with them; and at ever more and more strongly upon last found myself within the same me, that from myself I could never four blank walls as before. escape. And that reflection took all energy, all impulse from me. I might have gone away when I pleased, beyond reach of the authority which regulated everything,-how one should walk, where one should live, but never from my own consciousness. the other side of the town lay a great plain, traversed by roads on every side. There was no reason why I should not continue my journey there. But I did not. I had no wish nor any power in me to go away. me. Soon after I returned I became conscious of measured steps passing the door, and of an eye upon I can say no more than this. From what point it was that I was inspected I cannot tell; but that I was inspected, closely scrutinised by some one, and that not only externally, but by a cold observation that went through and through me, I knew and felt beyond any possibility of mistake. This recurred from time to time, horribly, at uncertain moments, so that I never felt myself secure from it. I knew when the watcher was coming by tremors and shiverings through all my being and no sensation so unsupportable has it ever been mine to bear. How much that is to say, no one can tell who has not gone through those regions of darkness, and learned what is in all their abysses. I tried at first On the file in which he was walking, and joined me. "Ah!" he said, "you are here already," with the same derisive smile with which he had before regarded me. I hated the man and his sneer, yet that he should speak to me was something, almost a pleasure. "Yes," said I, "I am here." Then, after a pause, in which I did not know what to say—" It is quiet here," I said. Quiet enough. Do you like it better for that? To do whatever you please with no one to interfere; or to do nothing you please, but as you are forced to do it,-which do you think is best?" I felt myself instinctively glance round, as he had done, to make sure that no one was in sight. Then I answered, faltering, "I have always held that law and order were necessary things; and the lawlessness of that that place-I don't know its name-if there is such a place" I cried, "I thought it was a dream." He laughed in his mocking way. "Perhaps it is all a dream -who knows?" he said. "Sir," said I, "you have been longer here than I "Oh," cried he, with a laugh that was dry and jarred upon the air almost like a shriek, "since before your forefathers were born!' It seemed to me that he spoke like one who, out of bitterness and despite, made every darkness blacker still. A kind of madman in his way; for what was this claim of age?-a piece of bravado, no doubt, like the rest. "That is strange," I said, assenting, as when there is such a hallucination it is best to do. "You can tell me, then, whence all this authority comes, and why we are obliged to obey." He looked at me as if he were thinking in his mind how to hurt me most. Then, with that dry laugh, "We have trial of all things in this world," he said, "to see if perhaps we can find something we shall like-discipline here, freedom in the other place. When you have gone all the round like me, then, perhaps, you will be able to choose.' "Have you chosen?" I asked. He only answered with a laugh. "Come," he said, "there is amusement to be had too, and that of the most elevated kind. We make researches here into the moral nature of man. Will you come ? 'But you must take the risk," he added, with a smile which afterwards I understood. We went on together after this till we reached the centre of the place, in which stood an immense building with a dome, which dominated the city, and into a great hall in the centre of that, where a crowd of people were assembled. The sound of human speech, which murmured all around, brought new life to my heart. And as I gazed at a curious apparatus erected on a platform, several people spoke to me. "We have again," said one, the old subject to-day." "Is it something about the constitution of the place?" I asked, in the bewilderment of my mind. My neighbours looked at me with alarm, glancing behind them to see what officials might be near. "The constitution of the place is the result of the sense of the inhabitants that order must be preserved," said the one who had spoken to me first. "The lawless can find refuge in other places. Here we have chosen to have supervision, nuisances removed, and order kept. That is enough. The constitution is not under discussion." "But man is," said a second was as lonely as if I had been in a wilderness. I was indeed in a wilderness of men, who were as though they did not see me, passing without even a look of human fellowship, each absorbed in his own concerns. I walked and walked till my limbs trembled under me, from one end to another of the great streets, up and down, and round and round. But no one said, How are you? Whence come you? What are you doing? At length in despair I turned again to the blank and miserable room, which had looked to me like a cell in a prison. I had willfully made no note of its situation, trying to avoid rather than to find it, but my steps were drawn thither against my will. I found myself retracing my steps, mounting the long stairs, passing the same people, who streamed along with no recognition of me, as I desired nothing to do with them; and at last found myself within the same four blank walls as before. Soon after I returned I became conscious of measured steps passing the door, and of an eye upon me. I can say no more than this. From what point it was that I was inspected I cannot tell; but that I was inspected, closely scrutinised by some one, and that not only externally, but by a cold observation that went through and through me, I knew and felt beyond any possibility of mistake. This recurred from time to time, horribly, at uncertain moments, so that I never felt myself secure from it. I knew when the watcher was coming by tremors and shiverings through all my being: and no sensation so unsupportable has it ever been mine to bear. How much that is to say, no one can tell who has not gone through those regions of darkness, and learned what is in all their abysses. I tried at first to hide, to fling myself on the floor, to cover my face, to burrow in a dark corner. Useless attempts ! The eyes that looked in upon me had powers beyond my powers. I felt sometimes conscious of the derisive smile with which my miserable subterfuges were regarded. They were all in vain. And what was still more strange was that I had not energy to think of attempting any escape. My steps, though watched, were not restrained in any way, so far as I was aware. The gates of the city stood open on all sides, free to those who went as well as to those who came; but I did not think of flight. Of flight! Whence should I go from myself? Though that horrible inspection was from the eyes of some unseen being, it was in some mysterious way connected with my own thinking and reflections, so that the thought came ever more and more strongly upon me, that from myself I could never escape. And that reflection took all energy, all impulse from me. I might have gone away when I pleased, beyond reach of the authority which regulated everything,-how one should walk, where one should live,—but never from my own consciousness. On the other side of the town lay a great plain, traversed by roads on every side. There was no reason why I should not continue my journey there. But I did not. I had no wish nor any power in me to go away. In one of my long, dreary, companionless walks, unshared by any human fellowship, I saw at last a face which I remembered; it was that of the cynical spectator who had spoken to me in the noisy street in the midst of my early experience. He gave a glance round him to see that there were no officials in sight, then left the file in which he was walking, and joined me. "Ah!" he said, "you are here already," with the same derisive smile with which he had before regarded me. I hated the man and his sneer, yet that he should speak to me was something, almost a pleasure. "Yes," said I, "I am here." Then, after a pause, in which I did not know what to say—" It is quiet here," I said. "Quiet enough. Do you like it better for that? To do whatever you please with no one to interfere; or to do nothing you please, but as you are forced to do it,-which do you think is best?" I felt myself instinctively glance round, as he had done, to make sure that no one was in sight. Then I answered, faltering, "I have always held that law and order were necessary things; and the lawlessness of that that place-I don't know its name-if there is such a place" I cried, "I thought it was a dream." "Have you chosen?" I asked. He only answered with a laugh. "Come," he said, "there is amusement to be had too, and that of the most elevated kind. We make researches here into the moral nature of man. Will you come? 'But you must take the risk," he added, with a smile which afterwards I understood. We went on together after this till we reached the centre of the place, in which stood an immense building with a dome, which dominated the city, and into a great hall in the centre of that, where a crowd of people were assembled. The sound of human speech, which murmured all around, brought new life to my heart. And as I gazed at a curious apparatus erected on a platform, several people spoke He laughed in his mocking way. "Perhaps it is all a dream -who knows?" he said. "Sir," said I, "you have been to me. longer here than I "Oh," cried he, with a laugh that was dry and jarred upon the air almost like a shriek, "since before your forefathers were born! It seemed to me that he spoke like one who, out of bitterness and despite, made every darkness blacker still. A kind of madman in his way; for what was this claim of age? a piece of bravado, no doubt, like the rest. "That is strange,' I said, assenting, as when there is such a hallucination it is best to do. "You can tell me, then, whence all this authority comes, and why we are obliged to obey." He looked at me as if he were thinking in his mind how to hurt. "We have again," said one, "the old subject to-day." "Is it something about the constitution of the place?" I asked, in the bewilderment of my mind. My neighbours looked at me with alarm, glancing behind them to see what officials might be near. "The constitution of the place is the result of the sense of the inhabitants that order must be preserved," said the one who had spoken to me first. "The lawless can find refuge in other places. Here we have chosen to have supervision, nuisances removed, and order kept. That is enough. The constitution is not under discussion." "But man is," said a second Sir, hope I may never feel such a sensation again. The pitiless light went into me like a knife; but speaker. "Let us keep to that in which we can mend nothing. you may have to contribute your quota to our enlightenment. We even my cries were stopped by investigating the rise of the framework in which I was thought. You are a stranger; bound. I could breathe and sufyou may be able to help us." fer, but that was all. are "I am no philosopher," I said, with a panic which I could not explain to myself. "That does not matter. You are a fresh subject." The speaker made a slight movement with his hand, and I turned round to escape in wild, sudden fright, though I had no conception what could be done to me. But the crowd had pressed close around me, hemming me in on every side. I was so wildly alarmed that I struggled among them, pushing backwards with all my force, and clearing a space round me with my arms. But my efforts were vain. Two of the officers suddenly appeared out of the crowd, and seizing me by the arms, forced me forward. The throng dispersed before them on either side, and I was half dragged, half lifted up upon the platform, where stood the strange apparatus which I had contemplated with a dull wonder when I came into the hall. My wonder did not last long. I felt myself fixed in it, standing supported in that position by bands and springs, so that no effort of mine was necessary to hold myself up, and none possible to release myself. I was caught by every joint, sustained, supported, exposed to the gaze of what seemed a world of upturned faces: among which I saw, with a sneer upon it, keeping a little behind the crowd, the face of the man who had led me here. Above my head was a strong light, more brilliant than anything I had ever seen, and which blazed upon my brain till the hair seemed to singe and the skin shrink. I Then some one got up on the platform above me and began to speak. He said, so far as I could comprehend in the anguish and torture in which I was held, that the origin of thought was the question he was investigating, but that in every previous subject the confusion of ideas had bewildered them, and the rapidity with which one followed another. "The present example has been found to exhibit great persistency of idea," he said. "We hope that by his means some clearer theory may be arrived at." Then he pulled over me a great movable lens as of a miscroscope, which concentrated the insupportable light. The wild, hopeless passion that raged within my soul had no outlet in the immovable apparatus that held me. I was let down among the crowd, and exhibited to them, every secret movement of my being, by some awful process which I have never fathomed. A burning fire was in my brain, flame seemed to run along all my nerves, speechless, horrible, incommunicable fury raged in my soul. But I was like a child-nay, like an image of wood or wax in the pitiless hands that held me. What was the cut of a surgeon's knife to this? And I had thought that cruel! And I was powerless, and could do nothing-to blast, to destroy, to burn with this same horrible flame the fiends that surrounded me, as I desired to do. Suddenly in the raging fever of my thoughts, there surged up the recollection of that word which had paralysed all around, and myself |