The old ship, urged to make more haste,
No more her helm obeys;

She says her strength 's all going to waste,
And then she misses stays.

Thus passes the morning. Then there is a whisper, which becomes a rumour, and at length takes the form of a confirmed report, that the ship has sprung a leak, — and so she has, in the gunner's storeroom. The Britannia at this time makes signal to anchor, just as the Howe is going to mention, by the same medium, the delicate fact that the " head" of the ship-not the captain- had taken to drinking. The Howe anchors once more at Spithead, and we pass the night in contemplating-those who are not asleep-the possibility of being considerably delayed in our voyage-perhaps, the whole crew turned over to another ship-the only way to stop ourselves being to stop the leak.

Meditating in a cockpit cabin, it appears an extraordinary coincidence that the last ship in which we took a voyage-the Romney troop-ship-suffered from water in the "head;" on which occasion we perpetrated some doggerel that has never yet seen print. There is not much chance of our taking up the old moorings of the Royal George, at the bottom of the sea, to-night; so let us recal to memory

THE LAY OF THE LABOURING TROOPER.

My bonny bark, why won't you sail?
Your leak 's the cause, I fear:

No matter; if the pumps don't fail,
We must get home-next year.

You once could run ten knots an hour,
When now you scarce go seven;
Poor Romney! you 've outlived your power,
But you must be forgiven.

It is supposed your "fore-foot's "*
And this has spoilt your running;

I mean this as a fact-no more-
I'm quite averse to punning.

sore,

But, see! oh, see! in ceaseless rhyme,
Instead of being on sea-scenes funning,
I am a-ssailing all the time

You're going-what a vice is punning!
But, Romney, take a hint, I pray,
And let your course be quickly sped,
Nor, Welshman like, on Taffy's day
Pride in the leak that's in your "head."

I was not to the sea brought up,
Nor would I go down in the sea;
Nor should I like the sharks to sup
In sub-marine repast on me:

Then speed, oh! speed along the wave,
For who knows but a storm is brewing,
And we may, with your Purser, have
Το pay for leakage, to our ruin.*

And now good-night to thee, Bentley's Miscellany! Thou hast the first day's memoranda of our present voyage, with a slight dash of our last, just as your Xeres merchant puts in the old flavouring ere he ships his wines.

RICHARD JOHNS.

*Leakage, of spirits; often a considerable loss to Pursers.

I'M TIRED.

I'm tired of all news that I read or hear told;
I'm tired of the drain on our silver and gold;
I'm tired of the Sultan and Mehemet Ali;
I'm tired of the horrors on railways now daily;
I'm tired of apprentices smoking cigars;

I'm tired of the feuds of Prince Albert's hussars;
I'm tired of Courts Martial, of which we've had plenty,

But chiefly of that upon Carpenter Henty;

I'm tired of poor boys having chimneys to mount,
When machines are much better on ev'ry account;
I'm tired of the fortifications round Paris;
I'm tired of th' alleged lady thief, Mrs. Harris ;
I'm tired of our actors, their wages, and airs;
I'm tired of French journals and Monsieur Thiers;
I'm tired of the schemes at St. Martin's le Grand;
I'm tired of my letters not coming to hand;

I'm tired of the murrain 'mongst oxen and sheep;
I'm tired of the shootings at Louis Philippe ;

I'm tired of stone pavements and wood changing places;
I'm tired of the sports known as omnibus races;

I'm tired of renewing my knockers and bells,

Oft wrench'd from my door by some highly-bred swells;
I'm tired of the nephew and ashes of Boney;

I'm tired of the death at Sierra Leone;

I'm tired of the tunnel not being complete;

I'm tired of the gout, which I've now in both feet;
I'm tired of my brandy and salt as a dram;
I'm tired of Laffarges, Monsieur and Madame;

I'm tired of what 's old, and I'm tired of what's new,
And I think, patient reader! I've now tired you.
Nov. 21, 1840.

J. S.

628

STANLEY THORN.

66
BY THE AUTHOR OF VALENTINE VOX."

CHAPTER XXIX.

The Nomination.

WHEN the expressed determination of the independent band had been communicated by Bob to the committee, they knew at once how to proceed; for as Stanley was to be the first candidate applied to, only in the event of no proposal to purchase being made, it was clearly expedient to wait for such application, as the value of property, and more especially that peculiar species of property, so varies by circumstances, that in general a difference of something like a hundred per cent fluctuates between an offer to buy and an offer to sell.

Bob was therefore instructed to keep an extremely sharp eye upon the patriots still; and, stimulated by the applause lavished upon him for his vigilance, he continued to watch them with indefatigable zeal, albeit deprived of the companionship of his friend, through that venerable gentleman's unhappy indiscretion.

From day to day, as no offer from either party had been made, the anxiety of the independent people increased; for although they possessed intact the power to punish either of the candidates, and thereby to have their revenge, they did not looking at the thing in a purely commercial point of view-prefer that revenge, however sweet per se, to the more substantial coin of the realm; which was indeed extremely natural, as well as very provident, inasmuch as the majority of them having an appropriate contempt for the meanness of labour, lived in an enviable state of independence from year to year upon the golden produce of their electoral rights. Their indignation at the backwardness of those who had come forward can therefore astonish no right-minded man, nor is it surprising that on the day of nomination they should have become so incensed at the ungenerous, unjust, and ungentlemanlike behaviour of the candidates, that they resolved to show him whom they conceived to be the richer, and therefore the more reprehensible of the two, that they were not with impunity to be swindled.

Now, although philosophical persons may carp at the novel knowledge about to be imparted, it may be held to be highly necessary that all the civilised nations of the earth should know, that in England, previously to the conscientious votes of a constituency being recorded, the candidates have to go through a sound constitutional ordeal, involving the high and indisputable privilege of pelting, and hooting, and yelling at those candidates, a privilege which forms one of the most characteristic and strongly-developed features of pure liberty with which a perfectly free and enlightened people can be blessed. That the glorious process of nomination throws a halo of security around our sacred institutions is a fashionable fact, plainly demonstrable by our very adherence to that process, and that the speeches delivered on that interesting occasion are essential to the existence of a good understanding between candidates and electors, is abundantly proved by the mere circumstance of those speeches being made. So also is

the show of hands a glorious transaction, and as valuable as it is glorious, inasmuch as it amounts to a mighty demonstration of public opinion, which is of itself so conclusive, that it is in no slight degree remarkable that in a country like this the unpopular practice of demanding a poll should be tolerated at all.

It is however true, very true, that there may exist two rational opinions about that; but it is also true that there cannot exist two opinions about this, that when on the day of nomination the returning officer had deliberately read the writ, Stanley was proposed by a locally influential person, in a most brilliant speech, of which not a single syllable could be heard beyond "Brother Electors!"-" Stanley Thorn, Esquire"- -"honour to represent "-" rampant faction"-" purity of election". "the eye of Europe "-and "the last drop of blood in his

veins!"

As it is just possible that it may be observed that this was rather extraordinary, considering Stanley was the popular candidate, it will be proper to explain that the independent portion of the constituency utterly disgusted with the prospect of being unbought-proceeded en masse to the hustings, with aprons, hats, and pockets full of turnips, carrots, cabbage-stalks, potatoes, and other equally handy vegetables, with the view of giving expression to the feelings by which they were animated in a manner the most striking and effective. They hated Stanley with a most correct hate; they felt that they had, by him especially, been treated with contempt; and as contempt is about the last thing which true patriots in general are disposed to endure, they resolved in limine to bring him to his senses; and when they had assembled, Bob, cognisant of this high resolve, pressed with unexampled zeal through the crowd to inspire them with additional ardour. Unhappily, they did not know Stanley, and a loud cry arose from time to time of "Which is he?"-some pointing, in reply, to one devoted individual, and some to another. Bob was well aware of their lamentable ignorance in this particular, and resolving to take advantage of it, rushed with great presence of mind through the mass, shouting just as the person who had nominated Stanley retired, "Now then!-look ut, brother boroughmongers!-fire!"

In an instant the hands of the independents grasped their ammunition, and as a gentleman stepped forward to second the nomination, they, mistaking him for the nominee, charged, and the air was darkened with vegetable matter.

In vain the unhappy gentleman thus assailed-being utterly unable to understand it, for he was sure that he had done nothing to offend the constituency-protested against this popular expression of public opinion; in vain the returning officer appealed to their deliberate sense of justice!-they answered by discharging fresh volleys of vegetables: they would not be influenced; their spirit could not be subdued; they were men, independent men, good men and true; in short, men who knew their rights, and would maintain them.

"Fire!-fire!" reiterated Bob. "Wot! is Britons goin' for to be

slaves!"

No!" responded the patriots in a chorus of thunder, and again their ammunition partially shut out the light.

Now, it may well be known by experienced men, that there is nothing in a siege of this character so efficient as a turnip. It requires but a powerful aim and a strictly correct eye to make it go straight to

the point proposed. Carrots are all very well in their way; but in general their flight is extremely irregular, while in unpractised hands they are apt to snap in the throwing; but turnips pierce the air in the most steady style; and albeit many inexperienced persons may prefer a potato, there seems to be no just or legitimate ground for such preference; for a potato has not half the moral influence of a turnip, because it does not, in proportion to its size, carry with it half the weight.

On this occasion the turnips did great execution. They went with force and dignity at the heads of the individuals by whom the platform was crowded and whose gestures were in consequence less graceful than grotesque. With the exception of the returning officer, who for a small man was highly indignant, not one upon the hustings dared to face the besiegers. Some, with great self-possession, stooped down, and took a retrospective view through their legs; some witnessed the exciting scene by peeping occasionally over their shoulders; while others formed themselves into picturesque groups, each modestly striving to give the precedence to his friend by placing that friend just before him. Stanley, who enjoyed the thing exceedingly, was in a corner, properly panoplied by a beadle, who, being an excessively corpulent person, shielded him with very great effect.

The platform, of course, was soon covered with vegetables; sufficient, indeed, had been poured in to stock a metropolitan market; but Bob, perceiving that the patriots had plenty still in store, was indefatigable in his efforts to urge them on.

"Keep it up!" he cried; "never give in! Now-now, brotherboroughmongers, at him! Hurrah!--I say," he added privately, turning to his venerable friend, "just cut away, and put missis up to it, will you, or else she 'll be fit to break her heart. There she is, with old missis, and the Captain, in the carriage."

As the patriots, with deafening shouts, poured in their reserved ammunition, the venerable gentleman pressed towards the carriage; and, the instant Amelia saw him, she exclaimed,

“Joseph, for goodness sake! run to the hustings, and—”

"Don't be oneasy, ma'm, about it," said the venerable gentleman; "Bob's arrangin' on it beautiful, ma'm, a hinsinniwatin' into 'em that t'other genelman is him, so as the swells may hexhorst theirselves of every hindiwidual wegeble afore his master comes forrard."

"What, was this attack intended for him?" cried the widow. "It vos, ma'm: it's werry onreg'lar, but it vos.”

"The brutes!" exclaimed the widow indignantly. "The wretches! Where on earth are the police? Why don't they do their duty? Run, Joseph, and tell him from me to leave the hustings this instant. Be quick, Joseph: there's a good man!"

The venerable gentleman at once started off to deliver his message to Stanley, while the Captain was endeavouring to calm the ladies' fears by explaining precisely the effect of Bob's ruse.

Stanley, however, felt that he had a great public duty to perform. He had to address the independent electors, which is so indispensable on the day of nomination, that it may with great propriety be questioned whether the wanton violation of that duty would not only ensure individual defeat, but strike at the very root of the British Constitution. It is no answer to this, nor is it a sufficient proof of the inutility of the practice, to show that of the speeches delivered on those