since that's the name you chuse to be called by, I have a good mind to knock you

down! Jess. Knock me down, Colonel! What do you mean? I must tell you, sir, this is a language to which I have not been accustomed; and, if you think proper to continue to repeat it, I shall be under a necessity of quitting your house!

Col. o. Quitting my house!
Jess. Yes, sir, incontinently.

Col. 0. Why, sir, am not I your father, sir, and have not I a right to talk to you as I like? I will, sirrah! But, perhaps, I mayn't be your father, and I hope not. Lady M. O. Heavens and earth, Mr Oldboy!

Col. 0. What's the matter, madam? I mean, madam, that he might have been changed at nurse, madam; and I believe he was.

Jess. Huh! huh! huh !

Col. 0. Do you laugh at me, you saucy jackanapes!

Lady M. O. Who's there? somebody bring me a chair. Really, Mr Oldboy, you throw my weakly frame into such repeated convulsions--but I see your aim ; you want to lay me in my grave,


will very soon have that satisfaction.

Col. 0. I can't bear the sight of him.

Lady M. O. Open that window, give me air, or I shall faint.

Jess. Hold, hold, let me tie a handkerchief about my neck first. This cursed sharp north wind-Antoine, bring down my muff.

Col. O. Ay, do, and his great coat.
Lady M. 0. Margaret, some hartshorn,
Jess. Colonel !
Col. 0. Do you

hear the puppy Jess. Will you give me leave to ask you one ques. tion?

Col. 0. I don't know whether I will or not.

Jess. I should be glad to know, that's all, what single circumstance in my conduct, carriage, or figure, you can possibly find fault with-Perhaps I may be brought to reform-Pr'ythee, let me hear from your own mouth, then, seriously, what it is you do like, and what it is you do not like?

Col. O. Hum !
Jess. Be ingenuous, speak and spare not.
Col. O. You would know?


Zounds, sir ! then I'll tell you, without any jest, The thing of all things, which I hate and detest;

A coxcomb, a fop,

A dainty milk-sop;
Who, essenced and dizen'd from bottom to top,
Looks just like a doll for a milliner's shop.

A thing full of prate,
And pride and conceit;
All fashion, no weight ;
Who shrugs, and takes snuff,
And carries a muff ;

A minikin,


French powder-puff :
And, now, sir, I fancy, I've told you enough.


Jess. What's the matter with the Colonel, madam; does your ladyship know?

Lady M. O. Heigho! don't be surprised, my dear; it was the same thing with my late dear brother, Lord Jessamy; they never could agree: that good-natured, friendly soul, knowing the delicacy of my constitution, has often said, Sister Mary, I pity you.

Jes. I think he ought to be proud of me: I bea

lieve there's many a duke, nay prince, who would esteem themselves happy in having such a son

Lady M. 0. Yes, my dear; but your sister was always your father's favourite : he intends to give her a prodigious fortune, and sets his heart upon seeing her a woman of quality.

Jess. He should wish to see her look a little like a gentlewoman first. When she was in London last winter, I am told she was taken notice of by a few

But she wants air, mannerLady M. O. Well, my dear, I must go and dress myself, though I protest I am fitter for my bed than my coach. And condescend to the Colonel a littleDo, my dear, if it be only to obligc your mamma.




A Study in Sir John FLOWERDALE's House; two

Chairs and a Table, with Globes and Mathematical Instruments.



Immortal pow'rs protect me,
Assist, support, direct me :

Relieve a heart opprest :
Ah! why this palpitation?
Cease, busy perturbation,

And let me, let me rest.

Enter JENNY.

Jenny. My dear lady, what ails you?

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Clar. Nothing, Jenny, nothing.

Jenny. Pardon me, madam, there is something ails you indeed. Lord! what signifies all the grandeur and riches in this world, if they can't procure one content. I am sure it vexes me to the heart, so it does, to see such a dear, sweet, worthy young lady as you are, pining yourself to death.

Clar. Jenny, you are a good girl, and I am very much obliged to you for feeling so much on my account; but in a little time, I hope, I shall be easier.

Jenny. Why, now, here to-day, madam, for sartain you ought to be merry to-day, when there's a fine gentleman coming to court you; but, if you like any one else better, I am sure, I wish you had him, with all my soul.

Clar. Suppose, Jenny, I was so unfortunate, as to like a man without my father's approbation ; would you wish me married to him ?

Jenny. I wish you married to any one, madam, that could make you happy,

Clar. Heigho!

Jenny. Madam! Madam! yonder's Sir John and Mr Lionel on the terrace ; I believe they are coming up here. Poor dear Mr Lionel, he does not seem to be in over great spirits either. To be sure, madam, it's no business of mine; but, I believe, if the truth was known, there are those in the house, who would give more than ever I shall be worth, or any the likes of me, to prevent the marriage of a sartain person that shall be nameless.

Clar. What do you mean? I don't understand your
Jenny. I hope you are not angry, madam?
Clar. Ah! Jenny

Jenny. Lauk ! Madam, do you think, when Mr Lionel's a clergyman, he'll be obliged to cut off his hair? I'm sure it will be a thousand pities, for it is the sweetest colour, and looks the nicest put up in a queue.

Clar. I'm going into my dressing-room-It seems then Mr Lionel is a great favourite of yours; but pray, Jenny, have a care how you talk in this manner to any one else.

Jenny. Me talk ! Madam, I thought you knew me better ; and, my dear lady, keep up your spirits. I'm sure I have dressed you to-day as nice as hands and pins can make you.


I'm but a poor servant, 'tis true, ma'anz ;
But was I a lady like you, ma'am,

In grief would I sit? The dickens a bit ;
No, faith, I would search the world thro', ma'am,

To find what my liking could hit.

et in case a young man

In my fancy there ran ;
It might anger my friends and relations :

But if I had regard,

It should go very hard,
Or I'd

follow my own inclinations. [Exeunt.



Sir J. F. Indeed, Lionel, I will not hear of it. What! to run from us all of a sudden, this


and at such a time too ; the eve of my daughter's wedding, I may

call it; when your company must be dou. bly agreeable, as well as necessary, to us! I am sure you have no studies at present, that require your attendance at Oxford: I must, therefore, insist on your putting such thoughts out of your head.

Lionel. Upon my word, sir, I have been so long from the university, that it is time for me to think of returning. It is true, I have no absolute studies; but,

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