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more little articles-Ecod, I'll venture, though I feel an ugly sort of tickling under my left ear-Oh, poor Spado!
A Hall in the Castle.
Enter SPADQ, Spado. So many eyes about-I can do nothing; if I could but raise a commotion to employ their attention-Oh! here's Don Juan, father to Fernando, just arrived. Yes, if I could but mix up a fine confusion now-ay, that's the time to pick up the loose things
--but hold, I am told this Don Juan is very passionate-heh! to set him and Don Scipio together by the ears-Ears I have it.
Enter Don Juan, in a Travelling Dress.
Spado. Me a physician ! Alack-a-day, no, your honour, I am poor Spado.
Don Juan. Where's Don Scipio? What the devil, is this his hospitality ? he has heard that I am here?
Spado. He hear! Ah, poor gentleman-hear! his misfortune!
Don Juan. Misfortune! What, he's married again? Spado. At the brink.'
Don Juan. Marry, and near threescore! What, has he lost his senses ?
Spado. He has nearly lost one, sir.
Don Juan. But where is he? I want to ask him about it.
Spado. Ask ! then you must speak very loud, sir. Don Juan. Why, what, is he deaf?
Spado. Almost, sir, the dear gentleman can scarce hear a word.
Don Juan. Ah, poor fellow ! Hey! Isn't yonder my son ?
[Walks up: Spado. Now if I could bring the old ones together, I shouldn't doubt of a quarrel.
Enter Don SCIPIO. Don Scipio. Ah, here's my friend Don Juan! Spado, I hope he han't heard of his son's pranks.
Spado. Hear! Ah! poor Don Juan's hearing ! I've been roaring to him these five minutes.
Don Scipio. Roaring to him! : :
Spado. You must bellow to him like a speakingtrumpet.
[Exit SPADO. Don Scipio. (Very loud.] Don Juan, you are welcome.
Don Juan. (Starting.) Hey! Strange, that your deaf people always speak loud [Very loud.] I'm very glad to see you, Don Scipio.
Don Scipio. When people are deaf themselves, they think every body else is too-How long have you been this way? .
[Bawling. Don Juan. Just arrived. [Bawling in his Ear. Don Scipio. I mean as to the hearing. [Very loud. Don Juan. Ay, I find it's very bad with you.
[Bawling.j Zounds, I shall roar myself as hoarse as a
Don Scipio. Ah, my lungs can't hold out a conversation-I must speak by signs.
[Motions to drink. Don Juan. What now, are you dụmb too?
Enter VASQUEZ. Whispers Scipio. Don Scipio. Oh, you may speak out, nobody can hear but me.
Don Juan. (To Vasquez] Pray, is this crazy fool, your master here, going to be married ? Don Scipio. What!
[Surprised. Vas. [To Scipio.] Don Fernando would speak to you, sir.
[Erit VASQUEZ. Don Scipio. I wish he'd come here, and speak to this old blockhead his father.-!Takes his hand.] Don Juan, you are welcome to my house--but I wish you had staid at home.
Don Juan, I am much obliged to you.
Don Scipio. You'll soon see your son-as great an ass as yourself.
Don Juan. An ass! you shall find me a tiger, you old whelp!
Don Scipio. Why, zounds, you're not deaf!
Enter FERNANDO and VICTORIA.
Don Fer. My father-sir-1-1
Don Scipio. (TO VICTORIA.] What are you doing with that fellow?
Vict: Your pardon, dearest father, when I own that he is now my husband.
Don Scipio. Eh! eh! By this ruin, this eternal disgrace upon my house, am I punished for my unjust severity to my poor son, Don Cæsar-married to that rascal !
Don Juan. Call my son a rascal!
Don Scipio. Zounds, man ! who's thinking of your son? But this fellow to marry the girl, and disgrace my family.
Don Juan. Disgrace! He has honoured your family, you crack-brained old fool!
Ďon Scipio. A footman honour my family, you superannuated, deaf old idiot!
Enter Dame ISABELLA. Oh, Dame, fine doings ! Pedrillo here has married my daughter.
Don Juan. But why this disguise—what is all this about? tell me, Fernando.
Isab. What, is this really Don Fernando?
Don Scipio. Hey! then, Dame, your daughter is left to the valet--no fault of mine, though.
Isab. What a vile contrivance !
Don Fer. No, madam, yours was the contrivance, which love and accident have counteracted, in justice to this injured lady.
Isab. Oh, that villain Spado!
Don Juan. Spado, why that's the villain told me you were deaf.
Don Scipio. Why, he made me believe you could not hear a word. Isab. And led me into this unlucky error.
[Exit ISABELLA. Don Juan. Oh! what a lying scoundrel!
Enter SPADO, behind. Spado. I wonder how my work goes on here ! (Roars in Don Juan's ear.j I give you joy, sir. Don Juan. I'll give you sorrow, you rascal!
Don Scipio. I'll have you hanged, you villain! Spado. Hanged ! dear sir, 'twould be the death of
Pedrillo. [Without.] Come along, my cara sposa -tol-de-rol
before me, spouse.
Enter PEDRILLO. How do you do, boys and girls-Zounds! my old master!
Don Juan. Pedrillo ! hey-day! here's finery!
Ped. I must brazen it out.-Ah, Don Juan, my worthy dad !
Don Juan. Why, what in the name of but I'll beat you to a mummy, sirrah !
Ped. Don't do that I'm going to be married to an heiress, so mustn't be beat to a mummy.-Stand
(Gets behind LORENZA. Don Juan. Let me come at him. Spado. Stay where you are, he don't want you. Don Fer. Dear sir !
Don Scipio. Patience, Don Juan; your son has got my daughter-So our contract's fulfilled.
Don Juan. Yes, sir; but who's to satisfy me for your intended affront, hey?
Don Scipio. How shall I get out of this. I'll revenge all upon you, you little rascal ! to prison you go. Here, a brace of alguazils, and a pair of handcuffs.
Spado. For me! the best friend you have in the world!
Don Scipio. Friend, you villain ! that sha'n't save
Spado. Only two of the banditti here in the castle, this morning.