Till now no umpire can agree 'em :
So both draw off, and ting Te Deum.
Is it in equilibrio,
If deities defcend or no?
Then let th' afirmative prevail,
As requifite to form my tale :
For by all parties 'tis confeft,
That thofe opinions are the best,
Which in their nature moft conduce
To prefent ends, and private use.
Two gods came therefore from above,
One Mercury, the other Jove :
The humour was (it seems) to know
If all the favours they bestow
Could from our own perverseness ease us;
And if our wish enjoy'd would please us.
Difcourfing largely on this theme,
O'er hills and dales their godships came;
Till, well nigh tir'd at almost night,
They thought it proper to alight.
Note here, that it as true as odd is,
That in difguife a god or goddess
Exerts no fupernatural powers;
But acts on maxims much like ours.
They spied at laft a country farm,
Where all was fnug, and clean, and warm;
For woods before, and hills behind,
Secur'd it both from rain and wind:
Large oxen in the field were lowing:
Good grain was fow'd: good fruit was growing:
Of laft-year's corn in barns great store:
Fat turkeys gobbling at the door :
And wealth (in short) with peace confented
That people here should live contented :
But did they in effect do so ?
Have patience, friend, and thou fhalt know.
The honeft farmer and his wife,
To years declin'd from prime of life,
Had ftruggled with the marriage noose;
As almost every couple does:
Sometimes, my plague! fometimes, my darling!
Kiffing to-day, to-morrow fnarling;
Jointly fubmitting to endure
That evil, which admits no cure.
Our gods the outward gate unbarr'd:
Our farmer met them in the yard ;
Thought they were folks that loft their way;
And ask'd them civilly to stay :
Told them, for fupper, or for bed,
They might go on, and be worse fped.-
So faid, fo done; the gods confent:
All three into the parlour went :
They compliment; they fit; they chat;
Fight o'er the wars; reform the ftate :
A thoufand knotty points they clear,
Till fupper and my wife appear.
Jove made his leg, and kiss'd the dame :
Obfequious Hermes did the fame.
Jove kifs'd the farmer's wife, you fay!
He did-but in an honest way :
Oh! not with half that warmth and life,
With which he kifs'd Amphitryon's wife.
Well then, things handsomely were ferv'd ::
My mistrefs for the ftrangers carv'd..
How ftrong the beer, how good the meat,
How loud.they laugh'd, how much they eat,
In epic fumptuous would appear :
Yet fhall be pafs'd in filence here :.
For I should grieve to have it said,
That, by a fine description led,
I made my epifode too long,
Or tir'd my friend, to grace my fong..
The grace-cup ferv'd, the cloth away,
Jove thought it time to fhew his play :.
Landlord and landlady, he cried,,
Folly and jefting laid afide,.
That ye thus hofpitably live,.
And ftrangers with good cheer receive,
Is mighty grateful to your betters,
And makes e'en gods themselves your
To give this thesis plainer proof,
You have to-night beneath your roof
A pair of gods (nay never wonder):.
This youth can fly, and I can thunder.
I'm Jupiter, and he Mercurius,
My page, my fon indeed, but fpurious..
Form then three wishes, you and Madam
And fure as you already had 'em,
The things defir'd, in half an hour,
Shall all be here, and in your power.
Thank you, great gods, the woman fays:
altars ever blaze!
Oh! may your
- A Ladle for our filver-dish
Is what I want, is what I wish.-
A Ladle cries the man, a Ladle!
Odzooks, Corifca, you have pray'd ill;
What should be great, you turn to farce;
I wish the Ladle in your a―
With equal grief and fhame, my Muse
The sequel of the tale pursues ;
The Ladle fell into the room,
And ftuck in old Corifca's bum.
Our couple weep two wishes paft,
And kindly join to form the laft;
To ease the woman's aukward pain,
And get the Ladle out again.
THIS commoner has worth and parts,
Is prais'd for arms, or lov'd for arts:
His head aches for a coronet :
And who is bless'd that is not great?
Some fenfe, and more eftate, kind Heaven
To this well-lotted peer has given :
What then? He must have rule and sway :
And all is wrong, till he's in play.
The Mifer must make up his plumb,
And dares not touch the hoarded fum;
The fickly dotard wants a wife,
To draw off his laft dregs of life.
Against our peace we arm our will:
Amidst our plenty, fomething ftill
For horfes, houses, pictures, planting,
To thee, to me, to him, is wanting.
The cruel fomething unpoffefs'd
Corrodes, and leavens all the reft.
That fomething, if we could obtain,
Would foon create a future pain :
And to the coffin, from the cradle,
"Tis all a Wish, and all a Ladle.
WRITTEN AT PARIS, 1700, IN THE BEGINNING OF ROBE'S GEOGRAPHY.
Fall that William rules, or Robe
Describes, great Rhéa, of thy globe;
When or on poft-horfe, or in chaife,
With much expence, and little ease,
My deftin'd miles I shall have gone,
By Thames or Maese, by Po or Rhone,
And found no foot of earth my own;
Great Mother, let me once be able
To have a garden, house, and ftable;
That I may read, and ride, and plant,
Superior to defire or want;
And as health fails, and years increase,
Sit down, and think, and die, in
Oblige thy favourite undertakers
To throw me in but twenty acres :
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