~OUR COURT OF REVIEW A PUT-DOWN FOR A PALTRY PUBLICATION. DURING the past week we have observed in some few shopwindows, with a feeling of unmitigated disgust, a sheet of wretched engravings, called "Chat's Pictures of the Revolution," professing to be "from sketches by that celebrated artist Garvani." Observe that the mean author of this wretched deception, to keep within the bounds of the law, although he does not scruple to overleap all bounds of morality, prints the name of this most distinguished artist, whose reputation is more than European, Garvani instead of Gavarni, hoping to fill his pockets with pence by fathering upon M. Gavarni some of the vilest productions that the most miserable woodcutter ever scratched out with a graver. To show the extent of the fraud, we may further mention that two of the subjects contained in this sheet, which have been previously printed as portraits of Horace Vernet and Eugene Sue, are now styled Guizot and Lamartine, and bear, as one would naturally suppose, not the remotest resemblance to the names printed underneath. In a few days we shall doubtless have them reappearing as Lord John Russell and Sir Robert Peel.

While all this is taking place, the impudent projector of this and similar deceptions no doubt hugs himself with the idea that he will escape unscathed. We swear by our black patch to undeceive him. Let him no longer imagine that those who spend their pence and halfpence on his worthless wares, are to be swindled just whenever his weak brain is capable of inventing new frauds. We advise him that one glance of our single eye will be sufficient to see through him and all his paltry fabrications; and in the event of detection we promise him such a degree of publicity as not even all his humbug advertising schemes, if brought into play, could ensure. He shall be exposed in our columns in the same way that vermin are affixed to a barn door, as a warning to others of their kind. With this caution, we leave him for the present.

With regard to M. Gavarni, we may mention that the only publications on which his pencil has been engaged, since his visit to this country, are, first, the PUPPETSHOW; secondly, a series of highly finished illustrations, which will shortly appear under the title of "Gavarni in London;" and thirdly, the Illustrated London News, to which latter publication, by the way, he contributes a series of sketches of French character typical of the actors in the late Revolution.

BOOKS NOT YET IN THE PRESS. "THE Greatest Plague of Life; or, the Adventures of a Writer in search of a Publisher," by one who has nearly

worried some of them to death.

"What to Publish, and how to get it Published," by one who has had twenty excellent offers refused at least.

Standard Edition-A newspaper edition not exceeding 100 copies.

Standard Novels-The novel leaders of the Standard, in which both point and plot turn upon Sir Robert Harry Inglis and Mother Church.

ADDRESSED TO MR. DILKE.

Q. What is the difference between ecclesiastical and literary excommunication.

A. In one case the offending party is Anathematised, and, in the other, Athenæumatised.

ON SEEING AN INTOXICATED POLICEMAN. [IMITATED FROM CHILDE HAROLD."]

Roll on thou drunk and dark blue peeler-roll!
Thy baton now thou wieldest quite in vain ;
Thou'rt conquered by blue ruin―self-controul
Hath ceased with thee;-the gin and watery bane
Doth mar thy course; nor dost thou now retain
One sign of human reason save alone,
When for a moment with thy might and main
Thou cling'st unto some lamp-post with a groan,
Without a hat, and, luckily, unseen, unknown.

His steps shake on the path-the hat he wears
Is but a sport for him—he doth arise
And kick it from him; the vile nap it bears
For four and nine-pence, he doth all despise,
Spurning it from the pavement towards the skies,
And sends it shivering in his playful way
Into the gutter, where perchance it lies

Till, stumbling over it as well he may,
He falls beside it;-there together let then lay.

AN UN-ENGLISH PRINCIPLE.-Quinet, the French historian, aspired to the command of a legion of the National Guard, but having proved himself utterly ignorant of military tactics, his claims were ridiculed. This may do very well in revolutionary France, but in good old England things are managed very differently. Why upon this principle Prince Albert would cease to be Field Marshal!

HOW TO REGULATE THE WEATHER.-If you wish for a fine day, go out with a large umbrella. To ensure wet weather, you should take a walk in a new hat. A fine passage across the channel may generally be procured by taking a preventive for sea-sickness.

QUITE EVIDENT.-The next French revolution will certainly be of a more severe nature than the one which has just taken place, for it will be quite out of taste for the sovereign people" to accept any small change.

cuts in a certain halfpenny periodical has been excused THE UNKINDEST CUT OF ALL.-The badness of the unable to bring them up. on the plea that the persons by whom they are printed are We always thought they were sufficient to make any one sick.

MONTE CHRISTO AND "IF."-In the paramount vanity of his heart, Alexandre Dumas (Marquis de la Pailleletter addressed by him to the ex-Duke de Montpensier, terie) has published in the columns of La Presse a in which he says, "Prince-Ir' I knew where to find your Highness, it would be by my speech, it would be in person that I would offer you the expression of my grief at the great catastrophe which has personally befallen you.' The literal signification of DE LA PAILLETERIE is chaff; and the Marquis seems to have retained an abundance of the commodity, although deprived of the title.

MR. COBDEN AS CERES. RICHARD COBDEN lately appeared in the character of Ceres, and not only acquitted himself with much credit, but obtained a large amount of ready money by the part. The plot of the performance was as follows:Richard Cobden is much enamoured of Free Trade, and having overcome the giant Protection by means of the club of Public Opinion, is enabled to espouse the object of his affections, and reap, with the sickle of the AntiCorn Law League, an abundant harvest from his countrymen's crops of gold. We only hope that the public will be pleased with our series in general as well as our Ceres in particular.

ONE PENNY.

A WARNING VOICE TO THE PARISIANS.

I.

Beware, O France! to-day.
Of the dangers in thy way.

In thy majesty and might,

In the splendour of thy Right,

Thou may'st look, with unconcern,
Upon despots fain to turn

Their swords upon thy bosom free and fair

Thou may'st view, without alarms,
Hostile monarchies in arms,

And with Justice for thy captain thou may'st dare
All the hate of foreign foes ;-

Yet, for dangers worse than those

Look around thee, young Republic, and beware!

́II.

Thou hast overturned a throne
That was based on fraud alone;
Thou hast swept in sudden wrath
All its panders from thy path;
Thou hast done a glorious deed,
And immortal be thy meed-

May thy garlands ever flourish green and fair!
But take heed, and ponder well,

Lest the tyranny that fell

Have not left a worse to follow as its heir.
Unhappy is the land

Where a mob is head and hand:

Thou hast known the peril once-oh, beware!

III.

Of the fool of good intent,

With his schemes impertinent;
Of the stubborn theorist;

And the dense philosophist,

Who would mould the world afresh,
And make men of wood-not flesh,
Mathematically modelled on the square;

Of the false and glib-tongued knave;
Of the sycophantic slave,

Who would lick the wild beast's feet in his lair;
Of the frenzied zealot, blind
In his love of human-kind-

Oh beware, for Freedom's sake-oh, beware!

IV.

Though the nations yet bow down
To the sceptre and the crown-
Though they bend the fawning knee)
To a titled luxury;

More contemptible than this

To behold a people kiss

The mire-bedraggled tatters hanging bare

SPREAD OF POPERY.-We regret to mention, as a proof of the gradual extension of popish doctrines, that hat the ceremony of "taking the veil was again performed yesterday. The convert took it from a shop in Cheapside, and bolted before a policeman came up.

A LUCKY DISCOVERY.-It seems that several coalmines have been discovered in the Republic of Chili. This is a fortunate event for a Chili climate.

SYMPATHETIC.-We understand that Mr. Feargus O'Connor and his colleagues contradicted the statement of the ex-King of the French, that he lost his throne in attempting to uphold the Charter.

SNOBS AND RELIC-HUNTERS. HAPPY is the little town of Newhaven. It does not know itself for joy. It is honoured above all towns in England. WILLIAM SMITH, alias LOUIS PHILIPPE D'ORLEANS EGALITÉ, slept in it for a night! Happiest of all womenmost favoured of all hostesses-is Mrs. Smith, of the Newhaven inn, who received the fugitive, her namesake, too, under her roof; and acquired for her hostelry a renown that will stick to it for ever! The majesty of WILLIAM SMITH, although denuded of the wig, the whiskers, the hat, the umbrella, and all the customary paraphernalia of kingship, shone upon the humble spot, and it is humble no more. Pilgrims resort to it as to a shrine; they kiss the holy ground where the rejected of France, the scorned of all Europe, but the beloved of Newhaven, placed his illustrious feet. There is not a snob in the town who is not raised in his own estimation since that auspicious day, and who does not boast of the smile, the look, the kind word, or the shake of the hand that he received, from a king who has broken faith with thirty-five millions of Frenchmen. Their love of the majesty of SMITH approaches the sublime-nay, it transcends it--but only by one step.

The furniture and household utensils of Mrs. Smith (not the Countess of Neuilly, but the happy and honoured innkeeper), have been transformed into Royal relics, says the London Telegraph. The very pillowslips on which SMITH rested his wigless head and whiskerless cheek upon the happy night when he thanked fate that he was on English ground, safe from the fancied pursuit of the gendarmerie of M. De Lamartine and the fiery Ledru Rollin, have been disposed of for a high price. If the barber who shaved his Majesty have not thrown away the lather, he may yet turn a decent penny by it; and as for the shaving brush and the razor that he used, we may be certain, as long as there are snobs in England, that he will not be so green as to dispose of them for a trifle. We have heard of strange fancies on the part of relic-hunters. They are not at all particular between fame and notoriety-between a great king and a great scoundrel, and would buy the wig of Louis Philippe, or an inch of the rope that hanged Thurtell, Fauntleroy, or Greenacre, with almost equal alacrity. Happy, happy Newhaven Crowds will visit thee yet, and every snob in thy favoured precincts will bless the 24th of February that sent to their snobbery such a prize as "SMITH."

DISGUSTING FEAT.-Last week a bold young savage undertook, for a trifling wager, to devour the contents of Howitt's Journal, besides swallowing a great deal of other trash, including a theatrical criticism from the Observer. After the last dose, he began dosing, and soon fell into a sound sleep.

||

TO LEGITIMISTS.

IN consequence of the success attendant on the sale of Shakspere's house, a party of gentlemen have formed themselves into a committee for the purpose of purchasing the site of the Globe Theatre, in Blackfriars. As the scene of the immortal bard's greatest triumphs, the property is of a peculiarly interesting description; and though great doubt may be thrown on the identity of the house in which the poet was born, there can be no question but that the site of the theatre in which he acted, occupies precisely the same position as during his lifetime. The ground is at present covered by three small tenements, considerably in arrears, and possession may easily be obtained, either by forgiving them the rent, or by adopting legal measures for their ejectment. The proprietor-an intimate friend of the writer's-has consented in the kindest manner to dispose of them for the sum of £17,500; one half to be paid down, the other to remain on mortgage at five per cent, until the completion of the purchase. All persons desirous of testifying their admiration for our great dramatist are invited to forward their subscriptions to the PUPPET-SHOW Office, where they will be taken to write a libretto in aid of the funds.] particular care of. [N.B. Mr. Bunn has kindly offered

THE ONLY SAFE METHOD.-Some astonishment has been expressed that the office of Howitt's Journal should be situate on the first floor of a grocer's shop. We understand that this arrangement was entered into it is usual to purchase Howitt's Journal and an ounce "at the request of numerous subscribers," among whom of tea conjointly; it having been found impossible to get through the former, without having recourse to the latter.

CURIOUS HISTORICAL FACT.-It is not generally known that Pliny the Elder died of drink. Yet who can doubt that he perished through “a drop of the crather.”

SIXES AND SEVENS.-We have been asked to state our opinion as to whether monomaniacs should be held answerable for their own acts, or allowed to cut any one's throat for which they may happen to have a taste-or, more likely, a distaste.

We all know that one maniac can be kept in order by the presence of six sane men, and maintain that on the same principle six sound senses are, or ought to be, sufficient for the subjugation of one that is diseased. Besides, if a monomaniac go to law and lose his suit, will not his solicitor consider him liable for his action, and for all expenses?

STOPPAGE OF THE BANK OF FRANCE.

of the French Republicans, but recent events show clearly that A GREAT deal has been said about the headlong rashness they know where to stop for the Bank has stopped payment. running on the Bank of France, and the result was that the last The populace, after running on the banks of the Seine, took to comers got the sack-not containing their money, as they expected-but simply their dismissal. The Government talked of issuing notes, but, though the people await the issue patiently, owing to the want of specie, are obliged to take credit to no notes have yet made their appearance. Numbers of persons, melancholy spectacle of a town living upon tick. Hoarding themselves for as much as they can get; and Paris presents the gold will now become the fashion among the horde of Paris, and it will require a revolution to put an end to it, as was the pecuniary difficulty is part of Louis Philippe's legacy to France, case with the absurd hoarding of the Nelson column. This which comprised altogether an involved Exchequer, a bad character, a cotton umbrella, an old wig, and a pair of whiskers!

It will gratify the public to know that our foreign relations are on a very good footing notwithstanding this state of things, for our uncle at Berlin has recovered from the gout, our aunt at Vienna has died and left us a legacy, and our pretty cousin in Paris married a respectable man with money.

THE LAY OF THE CREDITOR.

AIR-" You are going far away, far away from poor Jeannette."

You are going far away, far away from all your debts,
There's no one left to pay me now, for you have no assets;
My bill it will be with you, wherever you may go :

Can you look into my ledger, and deny me what you owe?

When you wear the light moustache, and the vest of brilliant blue,

I fear that you'll forget then all about my I O U.

With the reins between your fingers, and a danseuse by your side,

You'll spend your uncle's legacy, and all your duns deride.

Oh, were I Lord John Russell, or, still better, Robert Peel, I would pass a stringent measure that would make you debtors feel;

I would put a stop to swindling, or at least would find a way That the man who had the goods should be the only one to pay.

pre

BENEFIT OF CLERGY." IN the good old times of ecclesiastical power, when the black gown hid the cloven hoof, and it was customary to make bonfires of heretics, the clergy procured for themselves immunity from the consequences of crime, on the curious principle that they were men of God, and therefore ought to be allowed to sin uncontrolled. Now-a-days, when common sense is dominant, they are held in greater check, but still there is too frequently a disposition shown to claim something like the old privilege, which is doubtless much envied and regretted. Not long ago, a Reverend Mr. Cavendish was brought to Marlborough Street Police Office, charged with obtaining some of those delicate little worldly vanities so dear to the ecclesiastical heart-diamond brooches-on false tences. Evidence was given, bail was called for, but was not forthcoming. Time came round- -so did the van; and the man of God was taken off in it. Well, so far here was nothing remarkable; a delinquent parson is nothing new, but mark the sequel. On his next appearance, it was stated that an arrangement "had been made for the return of the brooches and the abandonment of the prosecution; and His Reverence made off in a great hurry -so said the reports-to escape the officers of the civil law, who were waiting outside, till those of the criminal law had done with him within. Now we look upon the dismissal of this prisoner as a gross outrage on justice, which demands that a felony shall not be compromised. There was evidence given sufficient to imprison the man, circumstances brought forward exhibiting fraudulent conduct, but because he offers to return the property he is suffered to depart free,- as if taking it in the first instance were no offence at all! This is Benefit of Clergy with a vengeance. Parsons are for the future to bear, we presume, a charmed life. 'Open locks, whoever knocks," cries the magisterial witch, and away goes the captive! But so long as we have the Justice Shallow school on the Bench, it is useless to expect decisions dictated by common sense, or even common honesty.

66

66

PRUDENT ADVICE.-The Irish patriots have been telling the English people that if they wish to gain their rights they must follow the example set the by the French. But if the model were to be strictly imitated, many thousand Irish labourers would be turned out of England to starve !

on to enter.

AN UNDENIABLE FACT.

The author of the Comic History of England states, that he has not taken the work of any particular historian as his basis. We don't know how far this may be true, but we can aver that the production is anything but Hume-rous.

A DISAPPOINTMENT.

Louis Philippe has, for the last few years, been lavishing immense sums, and descending to all sorts of mean intrigues, in order, like Louis XIV., to be able to exclaim, "The Pyrenees exist no longer. The result has been that the Pyrenees still retain their former situation, while Louis Philippe has been ejected from his.

A CURSE NOT DEEP BUT LOUD.

The orchestra at Her Majesty's Theatre possesses at least one merit. This "band still unsubdued" makes so much noise that it prevents the chorus from being heard. THE RETORT COURTEOUS.

Mr. Mitchell said, on March 23rd, that he meant to commit high treason.

to commit Mr. Mitchell. It appeared the next day that the Government meant

BETTER OBSERVANCE OF THE SABBATH.

Sir Robert Harry Inglis, encouraged by the success of his measures against Billiards and other games on a Sunday, intends shortly bringing in a bill to prevent vessels at sea from playing pitch and toss on the day in question.

AN EXPLANATION.!} Mr. Brooke failed in performing Shylock. In this there is nothing extraordinary, for how could he expect to succeed in doing a Jew?

A SENSIBLE FELLOW.

The reason for which the King of Bavaria abdicated was, not to escape from the weapons of the people, but to fly to the arms of Lola Montes.

A CURE FOR BLINDNESS.

The King of Prussia says in his speech of the 21st instant, "Prussia henceforth rises into Germany." How very extraordinary that, before he could discover this, his people must rise in insurrection.

AN UNSEASONABLE CHANGE.

Queen Victoria has just changed her Gentlemen Pensioners into a "Body-guard," for which no one at all connected with trade is eligible. The sooner this corps is sent to the right about, the better; for it certainly, at a time like the present, can have no "business" anywhere.

"BOOKED."

Mr. Libri, the learned librarian convicted of robbing nearly all the public libraries in France, is certainly a great adept at book-keeping, yet, strange to say, his accounts (of the manner in which he obtained the different works) are anything but satisfactory.