CHAPTER VI

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UNE 11. But for the close confinement in this sort of underground place, I think my health

would have improved somewhat. If I were here with liberty, comfortable quarters, and privilege to hear from home, I should not object to spending a month or two on the island. The salt air and generally mild temperature seem to suit me.

9 A. M. Lieut. W. called for the walk but, as it was hot, asked if I would prefer to postpone it until evening.

I was in a railroad wreck near Macon in 1853, when a poor brakeman did what he could at his post to stay the smash-up, losing his life in his effort to save others. In the country's troubles, I did but act as he; did but seize the brake to arrest, as far as possible, impending mischief; my efforts have been no more availing than were his. Perhaps in the end I shall fare no better; if not by sentence of law, by disease and death from impris

onment.

Had a very sick spell to-day. The bowels have not been in proper condition. I became prostrate over the urinal, could barely get on my bunk; perspiration pouring over the whole body, head perfectly wet. Called to the guard several times, but could not make myself heard. I wanted cool water badly; half an hour went by before I could see any one pass the windows. Then a guard passed. His attention I was able to arrest, and

I asked for Lieut. W., who came and went immediately for the surgeon, Dr. or Major Seaverns. I told the doctor I was only suffering from a sick spell such as I was subject to, and that it would soon be over. All I wanted was some cool water; a little ale might do me good. Lieut. W. brought me a glass of ice water, the first I have drank this season. It relieved me very much. The Doctor remained some time, then left, promising to send some medicine. I told him the liver was not performing its functions properly; my remedy was a preparation of nitric acid which I had with me, but I needed a glass tube in taking it. He had no tube; would send some straws. In an hour or more I was able to sit up at my window.

I see in the Boston Herald that there was a riot yesterday in Washington, D. C., between Federal soldiers and Negroes; attack by the former upon the latter; 150 or 200 soldiers engaged. The military, or provost, guard was called on to suppress it. Several were wounded and some killed on both sides. Is this but the beginning of deplorable conflicts hereafter to be enacted between the races, until one or the other is extinguished? Sad forebodings haunt me. I apprehend intestine strifes, riots, bloodshed, wars of the most furious character, springing from antipathies of castes and races. Equality does not exist between blacks and whites. The one race is by nature inferior in many respects, physically and mentally, to the other. This should be received as a fixed invincible fact in all dealings with the subject. It is useless to war against the decrees of nature in attempting to make things equal which the Creator has made unequal; the wise, humane, and philosophic statesman will deal with facts as he finds them. In the new order of things, I

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shall hope and, if permitted, strive, for the best; yet I cannot divest myself of forebodings of many evils. Whether there will be greater ones than these freely admitted to be incident to the former system, time alone will determine.

God knows my views on slavery never rose from any disposition to lord it over any human being or to see anybody else so lord it. In my whole intercourse with the black race, those by our laws recognized as my slaves and all others, I sought to be governed by the Golden Rule; taking this rule in its true sense of doing unto others as I would have others do unto me were positions reversed. I never owned one that I would have held a day without his or her free will and consent. One of the greatest perplexities of my life was what disposition to make of my Negroes by will. Our laws against manumission I looked on as unwise and impolitic. Some Negroes of mine, I knew from conversations with them, wished to be free when I should be gone. This I provided for as far as I could by will under our laws. To all the rest, I secured the right of choosing their future masters. My own judgment was that those who elected to go to a free State would not be so well off as those who should remain at home with masters of their choice. Still, that was with me a matter for their own decision and which I did not feel at liberty to control. So far as my own Negroes are concerned, there is nothing now that would give me more pleasure, under the changed order of things, than to try the experiment and see what can be done for them in their new condition.

Read Gerrit Smith's lecture in New York on Treason and punishment of traitors as reported in the Tribune. It is about what I should have expected from him. I

knew him personally in Congress; formed there a very favourable opinion of his general generous impulses of philanthropy. He was considered by most Southern people as a monster. But few Southern members would recognize or speak to him at first. This prejudice wore off, I believe, before the termination of the Congress of which he was a member. I entertained none of it myself; met him socially as I would any other intelligent, courteous gentleman. I dined with him at his own house, and we talked over in a friendly spirit all those questions which were agitating the country to its foundations, questions on which we radically differed in many respects and which have ended in such bloody deeds. My arrangement with sutler for meals has commenced.

I fare better.

Dinner to-day: salmon, broiled turkey, asparagus, potatoes, and pudding, all well cooked and palatable; having little appetite, I ate little. The Doctor recommended a stimulant, so I took a drink from Harry's bottle. Paid sutler $4 for "sundries"; what "sundries" are I do not know.

7 P. M. From the parapet on the eastern bastion had a magnificent view of the ocean; as far as the eye could reach, its wide green plain stretched out, placid as the bosom of a lake. I thought of my first view of the great deep. It was near Sunbury, Ga., on the 2d March, 1833, one of my Saturday holidays. I had gone 12 or 15 miles for no other purpose than to behold it. Where I stood this evening is a favourable point for a sea-view; 70 feet above high-water mark, enabling one to look much further out than from any place I have ever been before. On the N. W. bastion got a full, clear outline of Boston, Bunker Hill Monument, etc.

Did not walk much, strolled slowly, rested under musician's arbour. I was feebler than at any walk since I have been here.

In Boston Herald is a statement that the President has refused to allow my friends to communicate with me. I hope it is not true. I once said, before the Georgia Legislature, in March, 1864, on the Habeas Corpus Resolutions, that "I was never born to acknowledge a master." I am now in the hands of the President. I cannot even have the opportunity of suing out a writ of habeas corpus. It may be said that I have a master now, whether born to acknowledge one or not. This is but too lamentably true. I did not mean to say, however, that I never was born to be in the power of one from whose oppression I could not extricate myself, but meant that I was never born to acknowledge myself the willing subject of any man on earth, or to yield to an unconstitutional authority oppressively used, acknowledging it to be right. I have the same spirit I had then. Whatever outrages may be perpetrated against my rights as a freeman under the Constitution and the laws, I shall never acknowledge him to be my master who commits them, or orders them committed. Superior force, as fate, has to be yielded to.

I asked Lieut. W. if he thought the Herald statement correct, or if he had any reason to think so. He said he did not think it true; the privilege to send or receive communications under which I had written home and had received Myers's letter, came, as he had informed me, from Washington; and no change of that order had been received here.

Another glimpse of Judge Reagan this evening as he passed my window on his return from walking. He did