Salkeld and Ventris for me, he has Coke and Hale for him, and he that has most opinions is most likely to carry his caufe. But where is the neceffity, cried I, of prolonging a fuit by citing the opinions and reports of others, fince the fame good fenfe which determined lawyers in former ages may ferve to guide your judges at this day. They at that time gave their opinions only from the light of reafon, your judges have the fame light at present to direct them, let me even add a greater, as in former ages there were many prejudices from which the present is happily free. If arguing from authorities be exploded from every other branch of learning, why fhould it be particularly adhered to in this? I plainly forefee how fuch a method of investigation must embarrass every fuit, and even perplex the ftudent; ceremonies will be multiplied, formalities must increase, and more time will thus be spent in learning the arts of litigation than in the discovery of right.

I fee, cries my friend, that you are for a fpeedy administration of juftice, but all the world will grant that the more time that is taken up in confidering any fubject the better it will be understood. Befides, it is the boaft of an Englishman, that his property is fecure, and all the world will grant that a deliberate administration of juftice is the best way to fecure his property. Why have we fo many lawyers, but to fecure our property, why fo many formalities, but to fecure our property? Not lefs than one hundred thousand families live in opulence, elegance and eafe, merely by fecuring our property.

To embarrass justice, returned I, by a multiplicity of laws, or to hazard it by a confidence in our judges, are, I grant the oppofite rocks on which legiflative wifdom has ever fplit; in one cafe the client resembles that emperor, who is faid to have been fuffocated with the bedcloaths, which were

only

only defigned to keep him warm; in the other, to that town which let the enemy take poffeffion of its walls, in order to fhew the world how little they depended upon aught but courage for fafety:

But blefs me, what numbers do I fee here-all in black-how is it poffible that half this multitude find employment? Nothing fo eafily conceived, returned my companion, they live by watching each other. For inftance, the catchpole watches the man in debt, the attorney watches the catchpole, the counsellor watches the attorney, the folicitor the counfellor, and all find fufficient employment. I conceive you, interrupted I, they watch each other, but it is the client that pays them all for watching; it puts me in mind of a Chinese fable, which is intituled, Five animals at a meal.

A grafhopper filled with dew, was merrily fing ing under a fhade; a whangam that eats grafhoppers had marked it for its prey, and was juft ftretching forth to devour it; a ferpent that had for a long time fed only on whangams, was coiled up to faften on the wangham; a yellow bird was juft upon the wing to dart upon the ferpent; a hawk had juft ftooped from above to feize the yellow bird; all were intent on their prey, and unmindful of their danger: fo the whangam eat the grafhopper, the ferpent eat the whangam, the yellow bird the ferpent, and the hawk the yellow bird; when foufing from on high, a vulture gobbled up the hawk, grafhopper, whangam, and all in a moment.

I had scarcely finished my fable, when the lawyer came to inform my friend, that his caufe was put off till another term, that money was wanted to retain, and that all the world was of opinion, that the very next hearing would bring him off victorious. If fo, then cries my friend, I believe it will my wifeft way to continue the caufe for another

be

term,

term, and in the mean time, my friend here and I will go and fee Bedlam.

Adieu.

I LATELY received a vifit from the little beau, who I found had affumed a new flow of fpirits with a new fuit of cloaths. Our difcourfe happened to turn upon the different treatment of the fair sex here and in Afia, with the influence of beauty in refining our manners and improving our converfation.

I foon perceived he was ftrongly prejudiced in favour of the Afiatic method of treating the fex, and that it was impoffible to perfuade him, but that a man was happier who had four wives at his command, than he who had only one. "It is true, cries he, " your men of fashion in the Eaft are "flaves, and under fome terrors of having their "throats fqueezed by a bow-ftring; but what then,

they can find ample confolation in a feraglio; "they make indeed an indifferent figure in conver"fation abroad, but then they have a feraglio to "confole them at home. I am told they have no "balls, drums, nor operas, but then they have got "a feraglio; they may be deprived of wine and "French cookery, but they have a feraglio; a feચંદ્ર raglio, a feraglio, my dear creature, wipes off 66 every inconvenience in the world.

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Befides, I am told, your Afiatic beauties are "the most convenient women alive, for they have VOL. III.

Cc

"no

"no fouls'; pofitively there is nothing in Nature I "thould like fo much as ladies without fouls; foul "here is the utter ruin of half the fex. A girl of "eighteen fhall have foul enough to fpend an "hundred pounds in the turning of a trump. Her "mother fhall have foul enough to ride a fweep"ftake match at a horfe-race; her maiden aunt "fhall have foul enough to purchase the furniture "of a whole toy fhop, and others fhall have foul enough to behave as if they had no fouls at all."

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With refpect to the foul, interrupted I, the Afiatics are much kinder to the fair fex than you imagine; inftead of one foul, Fohi the idol of China gives every woman three, the Bramins give them fifteen; and even Mahomet himself no where excludes the fex from Paradife. Abulfeda reports, that an old woman one day importuning him to know what the ought to do in order to gain Paradife? My good Lady, anfwered the Prophet, old women never get there; what, never get to Paradife, returned the matron, in a fury! Never, fays he, for they always grow young by the way.

No, Sir, continued I, the men of Afia behave with more deference to the fex than you seem to imagine. As you of Europe fay grace, upon fitting down to dinner, fo it is the cuftom in China to fay grace, when a man goes to bed to his wife. And may I die, returned my companion, but a very pretty ceremony; for feriously, Sir, I fee no reason why a man fhould not be as grateful in one fituation as in the other. Upon honour, I always find myself much more difpofed to gratitude, on the couch of a fine woman, than upon fitting down to a furloin of beef.

Another ceremony, faid I, refuming the converfation, in favour of the fex amongst us, is the bride's being allowed after marriage, her three days of freedom. During this interval a thousand extravagancies are practifed by either fex. The lady is placed

placed upon the nuptial bed, and numberlefs monkey tricks are played round to divert her. One gentleman smells her perfumed handkerchief, another attempts to untie her garters, a third pulls off her fhoe to play hunt the flipper, another pretends to be an ideot, and endeavours to raise a laugh by grimacing; in the mean time, the glafs goes brifkly about, till ladies, gentlemen, wife, husband, and all are mixed together in one inundation of arrack punch.

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"Strike me dumb, deaf, and blind, cried my companion, but very pretty; there is fome fenfe "in your Chinese ladies' condefcenfions; but among us, you fhall fcarcely find one of the whole *fex that fhall hold her good humour for three days together. No later than yesterday I happened to fay fome civil things to a citizen's wife "of my acquaintance, not because I loved, but "because I had charity; and what do you think 66 was the tender creature's reply! Only that fhe "detefted my pigtail wig, high heeled fhoes, and "fallow complexion. That is all. Nothing more! "Yes, by the heavens, though the was more ugly "than an unpainted actress, I found her more info"lent than a thorough bred woman of quality."

He was proceeding in this wild manner, when his invective was interrupted, by the man in black, who entered the apartment, introducing his niece, a young lady of exquifite beauty. Her very appearánce was fufficient to filence the fevereft fatyrift of the fex; eafy without pride, and free without impudence, the feemed capable of supplying every fense with pleasure; her looks, her converfation were natural and unconstrained; fhe had neither been taught to languifh nor ogle, to laugh without a jeft, or figh without forrow. I found that the had just returned from abroad, and had been con

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verfant