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Mag. Did he strike you with a stick ? Pat. No, my lord, it was a small taste of a poker. Mag. A poker! What a dreadful murderous weapon. Pat. Arrah ! sure your holiness, it is indeed, indeed. Mag. Where were you when this happened ? Pat. Where was I ? sure I was in bed. Mag. Asleep or awake. Pat. As sound as a roach, your majesty. Mag. And what provocation had you given him. Pat. Divil a provocation at all, most noble. How could I when I was dead drunk asleep!
Mag. What! do you mean to say he came to your bedside, and struck you in this dreadful manner without cause ?
Pat. Yes, your mightiness—barring he came to his own bedside instead of mine.
Mag. His own bedside ! were you in his bed ?
Pat. That's more than I can tell, your honour, barring it was the liquor.
Mag. Was this all you did to provoke his anger ?
May. His wife ! were you in bed with his wife ?
Pat. Yes, I thought it was my own wife in the dark, I went into the room in a mistake!
Mag. Well, I hope you committed no other mistake. You must be careful in future. I cannot grant you a warrant.
Pat. Thank your majesty. If he hits me agin it shall go for something. By my soul, I will give him a crack that will knock him into the middle of next weck. So an illigant good day to your mightiness.
Pulling up his unmentionables, he hopp'd off in a real Irish trot.
It turned out that Paddy went into the bed unconscious of where he was, till Barney gave him a gentle hint with the poker, and fortunately his skull was thick enough to resist the intended finisher. Barney's sleeping beauty was also awoke by the shock, who gave her tender assistance in larruping the intruder out of the chamber of her lord and master.
THE ARAB'S FAREWELL TO HIS HORSE.
(A Favourite Recitation.)
My beautiful! my beautiful ! that standest meekly by,
Who said that I'd giv'n thee up, who said that thou wert sold?
HE VOS A VERY ON EL MAN ALL DAT. (A celebrated French Recitation, as originally given by Mr. Melvin,
Mr. Mathews, c.) MAIS ! I am Monsieur Jean Francois Marie Louis Grenoble. In Angletere here, I vas vat you call de emigrant ; because in the revolution, ma foi ! ven my countree, dat I love so much, vant to cut off my head, I take to my feet, and ran avay very fast, so dat de guillotine, by gar, can no cut short my valk over de sea-not at all. Here I make de montre, vat you call de vatch. I am de horloger, de clock maker, and get de living by de tick. Mais dans Paris—in my own countree I vas very large man indeed, vas nobleman, vas son altesse de Prince Grenoble, and stood very high indeed (though I am but a little man now) in de grand Armee Royal.
De other day I vas valk in vat you call your High Park, vere dere are no bucks vid de horns, but de bucks dat come from do Londres de city, and leave dere wives to valk here; and no deer, but the pretty little girls, and parbleu, dey are very dear indeed, pretty indeed, very. Vell, I vas valk dere, and see sit on de bench for vast de call to dine vid dey Duke Humphrey, un pauvre homme; he seem very hungry, very cold; he looked very dirty, very ragged, and very poor indeed—but he appear a very jonteel man for all dat. I
go to him, and I say to him—for I see in de twinkle of de eye he vas von Frenchman-vas my countreman-mon ami, my friend, my countreman, for vat you sit on dis bench here, to dine vid de Duke Humphrey ? vy you no go to de cook-shop de restaurateur, vere dey eat de beef and de mouton, and de sallad, and de pomme de terre ? He say to me,
“I am brave Francois—I am jontilehomme I am one of de first men in all France—but I am sans souis, point d'argent; I have not one single farthing dans tout le monde; not a halfpenny in all de world, and no credit at all.
Den he shew me his pockets filled vid very large holes, but nothing else; but he appear very jonteel man for all dat; and all at once, immediately, directly, instamment, in de half second, I recollect to have seen him in Paris, dress in all de silver and de gold lace.—Jontilhomme or noble, I forgot vhich, but it vas all de same.
I look at him again-ma foi ! he have no lace but de