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that they were fairies. See now, how wit may be made a Jack-a-lent, when 'tis upon ill employment !
Era. Sir John Falstaff, serve Got, and leave your desires, and fairies will not pinse you.
Ford. Well said, fairy Hugh.
Ford. I will never mistrust my wife again, till thou art able to woo her in good English.
Fal. Have I laid my brain in the sun, and dried it, that it wants matter to prevent so gross o'er-reaching as this ? Am I ridden with a Welsh goat too? shall I have a coxcomb of frize ? 'Tis time I were choked with a piece of toasted cheese.
Eva. Seese is not goot to give putter; your pelly is all putter.
Fal. Seese and putter! have I lived to stand at the taunt of one that makes fritters of English? This is enough to be the decay of lust, and late-walking, through the realm.
Mrs Page. Why, Sir John, do you think, though we would have thrust virtue out of our hearts by the head and shoulders, and have given ourselves without scruple to hell, that ever the devil could have made you our delight?
Ford. What, a hodge-pudding? a bag of flax?
Eva. And given to fornications, and to taverns, and sack, and wine, and metheglins, and to drinkings, and swearings and starings, pribbles and prabbles ?
Fal. Well, I am your theme : you have the start of me; I am dejected; I am not able to answer the Welsh flannel ; ignorance itself is a plummet o'er me : use me as you will.
Ford. Marry, Sir, we 'll bring you to Windsor, to one master Brook, that you have cozened of money, to whom you should have been a pander : over and above that you have suffered, I think, to repay that money will be a biting affliction.
Page. Yet be cheerful, knight : thou shalt eat a posset to-night at my house ; where I will desire thee to laugh at my wife, that now laughs at thee: tell her, master Slender hath married her daughter.
Mrs Page. [Aside.] Doctors doubt that : if Anne Page be my daughter, she is, by this, doctor Caius' wife.
Enter SLENDER. Sln. Whoo, ho! ho! father Page !
Page. Son, how now! how now, son! have you despatched ?
Slen. Despatched !—I'll make the best in Gloucestershire know on't ; would I were hanged, la, else!
Page. Of what, son ?
Slen. I came yonder at Eton to marry mistress Anne Page, and she's a great lubberly boy. If it had not been i’ the church, I would have swinged him, or he should have swinged me. If I did not think it had been Anne Page, would I might never stir -and 'tis a post-master's boy.
Page. Upon my life, then, you took the wrong.
Slen. What need you tell me that? I think so, when I took a boy for a girl. If I had been married to him, for all he was in woman's apparel, I would not have had him.
Page. Why, this is your own folly. Did not I tell you how you should know my daughter by her garments ?
Slen. I went to her in white, and cried “mum," and she cried “budget," as Anne and I had appointed; and yet it was not Anne, but a post-master's boy.
Mrs Page. Good George, be not angry : I knew of your purpose ; turned my daughter into green; and indeed, she is now with the doctor at the deanery, and there married.
Enter Doctor Caius. Caius. Vere is mistress Page? By gar, I am cozened: I ha' married un garçon, a boy ; un paisan, by gar, a boy; it is not Anne Page : by gar, I am cozened. Mrs Page. Why, did you take her in green? Caius. Ay, by gar, and ’tis a boy: by gar, I'll raise all Windsor.
[Exit. Ford. This is strange. Who hath got the right Anne ? Page. My heart misgives me : here comes master Fenton.
Enter Fenton and ANNE PAGE. How now, master Fenton !
Anne. Pardon, good father !-good my mother, pardon !
Page. Now, mistress,—how chance you went not with master
You would have married her most shamefully,
Of disobedience, or unduteous title ;
Which forcèd marriage would have brought upon her.
In love, the heavens themselves do guide the state ;
Money buys lands, and wives are sold by fate.
What cannot be eschew'd, must be embrac'd.
Heaven give you many, many merry days ! -
Sir John and all.
To master Brook you yet shall hold your word ;
VINCENTIO, Duke of Vienna.
THOMAS, ) two Friars.
ISABELLA, sister to CLAUDIO.
Lords, Officers, Citizens, Boy, and Attendants.