refer my every need, temporal and spiritual, to my Heavenly Father, through Jesus, my adorable Redeemer; I cannot fully describe the rest, the joy, which I have lately experienced in thus continually committing myself and my all to Him, and it is wonderful to discover His tender mindfulness of even my outward necessities and comforts, so that external affairs and many minor things have been ordered marvellously for me. O it is sweet to trust Him." 66 Fifth month 8th, 1864.-I do long that Christ may so draw me to Himself, and keep me so near, that I may perfectly reflect His image, that all may see and know that I have been with Him, and learnt of Him, that He may be glorified by my being filled with love, gentleness, meekness, humility, and every Christian grace. To Jesus do I desire to consecrate body, soul, and spirit." "Eleventh month 14th, 1870.-Relieved in spirit by being enabled, before the Scripture reading this morning, to express my desire for us all, that this might never sink into a mere form, but that our hearts might be lifted up in prayer for a blessing on the reading, that we might know the entrance of the words of Jesus to give life to our souls; and that such times might prove times of refreshing from Him." "Fourth month 10th, 1871.-I wish here to remark as regards myself, that in looking back upon my long life, I see that whenever I have trusted in myself, my good resolutions, my natural powers, &c., I have signally failed; but when my trust has been only in Jesus, even respecting small outward concerns, all has prospered; if not in the expected way, still in the best possible way." "Ninth month 26th, 1871.-In my nature I believe there is much of what the French term empressement seems best to describe; an earnestness in the pursuit of what it appears right should be accomplished, which, I believe, may have had its use in youth and middle age, when I had often much to engage my attention; but it does not seem to comport with old age, and I very much desire to know deliverance from all that intercepts my dwelling in the quiet habitation,' waiting to be taught my daily lessons in the Saviour's school. Especially it is my prayer that things may have their proper places, and that none of the daily affairs of life may be pursued too earnestly, but that all may be attended to in quietness and meekness, the heart being continually lifted up in perfect confidence to Him who does mercifully undertake for us even in secular things so as to bring about His own designs." Toward the end of 1876 K. B.'s health received a severe shake from a sudden but short attack of loss of consciousness. From this she never fully recovered, and only twice during the five remaining years of her life was she able to unite with her friends in public worship. She much enjoyed her garden, and with cheerful submission she reconciled herself to limited powers, always feeling that whatever was permitted by her Heavenly Father was sure to be the right discipline for her. Thankfulness for all His gifts was the clothing of her spirit, and words of praise from the psalms or hymns were often on her lips. Under date 20th Sixth month, 1877, K. B. says:— "Now after about eight months upstairs, much of the time in bed, I may write that I fell down insensible at my bedroom door on the 22nd of Tenth month, 1876, and have since experienced much of the goodness of my gracious God and Saviour. He has repeatedly laid me low, and again given me evidence of His loving-kindness. This day is the third on which I have come down to dinner, and I have been once at a week-day meeting." First-day.—“ Alone, and thankful to be so; although from some unknown cause there is little ability to cry availingly for help from Him who only knows the depth of my unworthiness, and the feebleness of my powers, both of body and of mind. But oh, how thankfully I remember that He graciously compassionates those who desire, however faintly, to love Him above all. Lord! do with me as Thou wilt !" 1878.-"And now what can I write but the praises of my gracious Heavenly Father, Jesus my Redeemer, and the Holy Spirit my Sanctifier ! O may the work be completed, and my unworthy soul prepared, whenever the summons may be sent, to enter His courts with joy and thanksgiving!" "Eleventh month 8th, 1880.-A truly touching letter from dear Edwin Waterhouse tells me of the death, yesterday, of his precious mother, my darling niece, Mary Waterhouse. She was like my own child from her very early years. She passed sweetly away to the Heavenly Kingdom. O! may I also, through infinite mercy, follow her there, when the call is sent." Prostration of mind and body gradually increased as age advanced. But her faith never failed-thankfulness for all her mercies was her constant theme. One especial mercy, to which she often referred, was the blessing of having such a faithful attendant as her maid, Mary, who, in the 56th year of her service, ably cared to the last for her beloved mistress with devoted and unwearied tenderness. In the Second month of 1882, K. B. took a slight cold, which yet did not prevent her coming down stairs even on the last day of her life. Soon after retiring to rest on the evening of the 16th the call she had so longed for came. Her prayer the night before had been that, "with the morning rays she might wake in Heaven." And so, in her 90th year, this loved and honoured one most gently passed away to be "for ever with the Lord." ABIGAIL BAKER, Dublin. 79 28 12 mo. 1881 HENRY BELL, Lurgan. 22 13 |