a gentleman, that, he says, is here now in the house, | by your consent, to take an ill advantage of his absence: you are undone.

Mrs. Ford. Speak louder.-[Aside.]-Tis not so, I hope.

Mrs. Page. Pray heaven it be not so, that you have such a man here; but 'tis most certain your husband's coming with half Windsor at his heels, to search for such a one. I come before to tell you: if you know yourself clear, why I am glad of it: but if you have a friend here, convey, convey him out. Be not amazed! Call all your senses to you; defend your reputation, or bid farewell to your good

life for ever.

Mrs. Ford. What shall I do?-There is a gentle man, my dear friend; and I fear not mine own shame, so much as his peril : I had rather than a thousand pound, he were out of the house.

Mrs. Page. For shame, never stand you had rather, and you had rather; your husband's here at hand, bethink you of some conveyance: in the house you cannot hide him.-O, how have you deceived me !-Look, here is a basket: if he be of any reasonable stature, he may creep in here: and throw foul linen upon him, as if it were going to bucking: or, it is whiting time, send him by your two men to Datchet-mead.

Mrs. Ford. He's too big to go in there; what shall I do?

Mrs. Page. What! Sir John Falstaff! Are these your letters, knight?

Fal. I love thee, and none but thee; help me away: let me creep in here; I'll never

[He goes into the basket: they cover him with foul linen.

suspicion of Falstaff's being here; for I never saw him so gross in his jealousy till now.

Mrs. Page. I will lay a plot to try that: and we will yet have more tricks with Falstaff: his dissolute disease will scarce obey this medicine.

Mrs. Ford. Shall we send that foolish carrion, mistress Quickly, to him, and excuse his throwing into the water; and give him another hope, to betray him to another punishment?

Mrs. Page. We'll do it: let him be sent for to morrow, eight o'clock, to have amends.

Re-enter FORD, PAGE, CAIUS, and Sir HUGH EVANS Ford. Icannot find him: may be the knave bragg'd of that he could not compass.

Mrs. Page. Heard you that?

Mrs. Ford. Ay, ay, peace:-You use me well, master Ford, do you?

Ford. Ay, I do so.

Mrs. Ford. Heaven make you better than your thoughts! Ford. Amen.

Mrs. Page. You do yourself mighty wrong, mas. ter Ford.

Ford. Ay, ay; I must bear it.

Eva. If there be any pody in the house, and in the chambers, and in the coffers, and in the presses, heaven forgive my sins at the day of judgment !

Caius. By gar, nor I too: dere is no bodies. Page. Fie, fie, inaster Ford! Are you not ashamed? What spirit, what devil suggests this imagination? I would not have your distemper in this kind, for the wealth of Windsor Castle.

Ford. 'Tis my fault, master Page: I suffer for it. Eva. You suffer for a pad conscience; your wife is as honest a 'omans, as I will desires among five thousand, and five hundred too.

Caius. By gar, I see 'tis an honest woman.

Ford. Well:-I promised you a dinner:-Come come, walk in the park: I pray you, pardon me: I will hereafter make known to you, why I have done this.-Come, wife; come, mistress Page; I pray you pardon me; pray heartily, pardon me.

Enter FORD, PAGE, CAIUS, and Sir HUGH EVANS.

Ford, Pray you, come near: if I suspect without Cause, why then make sport at me, then let me be your jest; I deserve it.-How now? Whither bear you this?

Serv. To the laundress, forsooth.

Mrs. Ford. Why, what have you to do whither they bear it? You were best meddle with buckwashing.

Ford. Buck? I would I could wash myself of the buck! Buck, buck, buck? Ay, buck; I warrant you, buck; and of the season too, it shall appear. [Exeunt Servants with the basket.] Gentlemen, I have dream'd to night; I'll tell you my dream. Here, here, here be my keys: ascend my chambers, search, seek, find out; I'll warrant, we'll unkennel the fox :-Let me stop this way first:-So, now, uncape §.

Page. Good master Ford, be contented: you wrong yourself too much.

Ford. Any thing.

Eva. If there is one, I shall make two in the company.

Caius. If there be one or two, I shall make-á dø

turd.

Eva. In your teeth: for shame.

Ford. Pray you go, master Page.

Eva. I pray you now, remembrance to-morrow on the lousy knave, mine host.

Caius. Dat is good: by gar, vit all my heart. Eva. A lousy knave; to have his gibes, and his mockeries. [Exeunt.

SCENE IV-A Room in PAGE's House.

Enter FENTON, and Mistress ANNE PAGE. Fent. I see, I cannot get thy father's love: Therefore, no more turn me to him, sweet Nan. Anne. Alas! How then?

Caius. By gar, 'tis no de fashion of France: it is not jealous in France.

Page. Nay, follow him, gentlemen; see the issue of his search. [Exeunt Evans, Page, and Caius. Mrs. Page. Is there not a double excellency in this?

Mrs. Ford. I know not which pleases me better, that my husband is deceived, or Sir John.

Mrs. Page. What a taking was he in, when your husband ask'd who was in the basket!

Mrs. Ford. I am half afraid he will have need of washing; so throwing him into the water will do him a benefit.

Mrs. Page, Hang him, dishonest rascal! I would, all of the same strain were in the same distress. Mrs. Ford. I think, my husband has some special

Besides these, other bars he lays before me,
My riots past, my wild societies;
And tells me, 'tis a thing impossible
I should love thee, but as a property.
Anne. May be he tells you true.
Fent. No, heaven so speed me in my time to come!
Albeit, I will confess, thy father's wealth
Was the first motive that I woo'd thee, Anne:
Yet, wooing thee, I found thee of more value
Than stamps in gold, or sums in sealed bags:
And 'tis the very riches of thyself
That now I aim at.

Anne. Gentle master Fenton,
Yet seek my father's love; still seek it, Sir:
If opportunity and humblest suit
Cannot attain it, why then,-Hark you hither.
[They converse apart.
Enter SHALLOW, SLENDER, and Mrs. QUICKLY.
Shal. Break their talk, mistress Quickly my kins-
man shall speak for himself.

Ford. A buck-basket!

Fal. By the Lord, a buck-basket: ramm'd me in with four shirts and smocks, socks, foul stockings, and greasy napkins; that, master Brook, there was the rankest compound of villainous smell, that ever offended nostril.

Ford. And how long lay you there!

Fal. Nay, you shall hear, master Brook, what I have suffer'd to bring this woman to evil for your good. Being thus cramm'd in the basket, a couple of Ford's knaves, his hinds, were call'd forth by their mistress, to carry me in the name of foul clothes to Datchet-lane: they took me on their shoulders; met the jealous knave their master in the door, who ask'd them once or twice, what they had in their basket: I quaked for fear, lest the lunatic knave would have search'd it; but fate, ordaining he should be a cuckold, held his hand. Well; ou went he for search, and away went I for foul clothes. But mark the sequel, master Brook: I suffer'd the pans of three several deaths: first, an intolerable fright, to be detected with a jealous rotten bell-weather: next, to be compass'd, like a good bilbo, in the circumference of a peck, hilt to point, heel to head: and then, to be stopp'd in like a strong distillation, with stinking clothes that fretted in their own grease: think of that,—a man of my kidney,-think of that; that am as subject to heat, as butter; a man of continual dissolution and thaw: it was a miracle, to 'scape suffocation. And in the height of this bath, when I was more than half stew'd in grease, like a Dutch dish, to be thrown into the Thames, and cool'd, glowing hot, in that surge, like a horse-shoe: think of that,-hissing hot, -think of that, master Brook.

Ford. In good sadness +, Sir, I am sorry that for my sake you have suffer'd all this. My suit then is desperate; you'll undertake her no more.

Fal. Master Brook, I will be thrown into Ætna, as have been into the Thames, ere I will leave her thus. Her husband is this morning gone a birding: I have received from her another embassy of meeting; 'twixt eight and nine is the hour, master Brook.

Ford. 'Tis past eight already, Sir,

[Exit.

Fal. Is it? I will then address me to my appointment. Come to me at your convenient leisure, and you shall know how I speed; and the conclusion shall be crown'd with your enjoying her: adieu. You shall have her, master Brook, you shall cuckold Ford.

Ford. Hum! ha! Is this a vision? Is this a dream? Do I sleep? Master Ford, awake; awake, master Ford; there's a hole made in your best coat, master Ford. This 'tis to be married! This 'tis to have linen, and buck-baskets!-Well, I will proclaim myself what I am; I will now take the lecher; he is at my house he cannot 'scape me; 'tis impossible he should: he cannot creep into a half-penny purse, nor into a pepper-box: but, lest the devil that guides him should aid him, I will search impossible places. Though what I am I cannot avoid, yet to be what I would not, shall not make me tame: if I have horns to make one mad, let the proverb go with me, I'll be horn mad. [Exit.

ACT IV.

SCENE 1.-The Street. Enter Mrs. PAGE, Mrs. QUICKLY, and WILLIAM. Mrs. Page. Is he at master Ford's already, think'st thou ?

Quick, Sure he is by this; or will be presently: but truly, he is very courageous || mad, about his

Bilboa, where the best blades are made.
+ Seriousness.
Make myself ready.
§ Outrageous.

throwing into the water. Mistress Ford desires you to come suddenly.

Mrs. Page. I'll be with her by and by: I'll but bring my young man here to school: took, where his master comes; 'tis a playing-day, I see.

Enter Sir HUOR EVANS.

How now, Sir Hugh? No school to-day? Eva. No; master Slender is let the boy's leave to Quick. Blessing of his heart! (play. Mrs. Puge. Sir Hugh, my husband says, my son profits nothing in the world at his book; I pray you, ask him some questions in his accidence.

Eva. Come hither, William; hold up your head;

come.

Mrs. Page. Came on, sirrah; hold up your head; answer your master, be not afraid.

Eva. William, how many numbers is in nouns? Will. Two.

Quick. Truly I thought there had been one number more; because they say, od's nouns.

Era. Peace your tattlings. What is fair, William ↑ Will. Pulcher.

Quick. Pouleats! There are fairer things than poulcats, sme.

Eva. You are a very simplicity 'oman; I pray you, peace. What is lapis, William ? Will. A stone.

Eva. And what is a stone, William ?
Will. A pebble.

Eva. No, it is lapis; I pray you remember in your prain.

Will. Lapis.

Eva. That is good, William. What is he Wiliam, that does lend articles?

Will. Articles are borrow'd of the pronoun; and be thus declined, Singulariter, nominatico, hic, hæc, hoc.

Eva. Nominativo, hig, hag, hog -pray you mark: genetivo, hujus: Well, what is your accusative case?

Will. Accusativo, hinc.

Eva. I pray you, have your remembrance, child; Accusativo, hing, hang, họg.

Quick. Hang hog is Latin for bacon, I warrant you. Eva. Leave your prabbles, 'oman. What is the focative case, William ?

Will. O-vocativo, O.

Eva. Remember, William; focative is, caret.
Quick. And that's a good root.
Eva. 'Oman, forbear.

Mrs. Page. Peace.

Eva. What is your genitive case, plural, Williana?
Will. Genitive case?
Eva. Ay.

Will. Genitive,-horum, harum, horum.
Quick. 'Vengeance of Jenny's case! Fie on her!-
never name her, child, if she be a whore.
Eva. For shame, 'oman.

Quick. You do ill to teach the child such words: he teaches him to hick and to hack, which they'll do fast enough of themselves; and to call horum : -Fie upon you!

Eva. 'Oman, art thou lunatics? Hast thou no understandings for thy cases, and the numbers of the genders! Thou art as foolish Christian creatures, as I would desires.

Mrs. Page. Py'ythee, hold thy peace.

Eva. Shew me now, William, some declensions of your pronouns.

Will. Forsooth, I have forgot.

Eva. It is ki, ka, cod: if you forget your kies, your kas, and your cods, you must be preeches. Go your ways, and play, go.

Mrs. Page. He is a better scholar, than I thought he was.

Eca. He is a good sprag+ memory. Farewell, mistress Page.

Mrs. Page. Adien, good Sir Hugh. [Exit Sir Hugh.] Get you home, boy.-Come, we stay too long. [Exeunt.

gence.

Mrs. Ford. Step into the chamber, Sir John. [Exit Falstaff. Enter Mrs. PAGE. Mrs. Page. How now, sweetheart? Who's at home besides yourself?

Mrs. Ford. Why none but mine own people.
Mrs. Page. Indeed?

Mrs. Ford. No, certainly :-Speak louder. [Aside. Mrs. Page. Truly, I am so glad you have nobody here.

Mrs. Ford. Why?

Mrs. Page. Why, woman, your husband is in his old lunes again: he so takes on yonder with my husband; so rails against all married mankind; so curses all Eve's daughters, of what complexion soever; and so buffets himself on the forehead crying, Peer-out, peer-out! that any madness, I ever yet beheld, seem'd but tameness, civility, and patience, to this his distemper he is in now; I am glad, the fat knight is not here.

Mrs. Ford. Why, does he talk of him? Mrs. Page. Of none but him; and swears, he was carried out, the last time he search'd for him, in a basket; protests to my husband, he is now here; and hath drawn him and the rest of their company from their sport to make another experiment of his suspicion but I am glad the knight is is not here; now he shall see his own foolery.

Mrs. Ford. How near is he, mistress Page? Mrs. Page. Hard by; at street end; he will be here anon.

Mrs. Ford. I am undone !-The knight is here. Mrs. Page. Why, then you are utterly shamed, and he's but a dead man. What a woman are you! -Away with him, away with him; better shame than murder.

Mrs. Ford. Which way should he go? How should I bestow him? Shall I put him into the basket again?

Re-enter FALStaff.

Fal. No, I'll come no more i' the basket: May I not go out ere he come ?

Mrs. Page. Alas, three of master Ford's brothers watch the door with pistols, that none shall issue out; otherwise you might slip away ere he came. But what make you here?

Fal. What shall I do?-I'll creep up into the chimney.

Mrs. Ford. There they always use to discharge their birding-pieces: creep into the kiln-hole. Fal. Where is it?

Mrs. Ford. He will seek there on my word. Neither press, coffer, chest, trunk, well, vault, but he hath an abstract for the remembrance of such places, and goes to them by his note: there is no hiding you in the house.

Fal. I'll go out then.

Mrs. Page. If you go out in your own semblance, you die, Sir John. Unless you go out disguised,— Mrs. Ford. How might we disguise him?

Mrs. Page. Alas the day, I know not. There is no woman's gown big enough for him; otherwise, he might put on a hat, a muffler, and a kerchief, and so escape.

Fal. Good hearts, devise something: any extremity, rather than a mischief.

Mrs. Ford. My maid's aunt, the fat woman of Brentford, has a gown above.

Mrs. Page. On my word, it will serve him, she's as big as he is: and there's her thrum'd hat, and her muffler too: run up, Sir John.

Mrs. Ford. Go, go, sweet Sir John: mistress Page, and I, will look some linen for your head.

Mrs. Page. Quick, quick; we'll come dress you straight: put on the gown the while. [Exit Falstaff. Mrs. Ford. I would my husband would meet him in this shape: he cannot abide.the old woman of Brentford; he swears, she's a witch; forbade her my house, and hath threaten'd to beat her.

Mrs. Page. Heaven guide him to thy husband's cudgel; and the devil guide his cudgel afterwards! Mrs. Ford. But is my husband coming? Mrs. Page. Ay, in good sadness, is he; and talks

• Mad fits.

As children call on a snail to push forth his horns. Short note of.

Mrs. Ford. We'll try that; for I'll appoint my men to carry the basket again to meet him at the door with it, as they did last time.

Mrs. Page. Nay, but he'll be here presently: let's go dress him like the witch of Brentford.

Mrs. Ford. I'll first direct my men, what they shall do with the basket. Go up, I'll bring linen for him straight. [Exit. Mrs. Page. Hang him, dishonest varlet! We can not misuse him enough.

We'll leave a proof, by that which we will do, Wives may be inerry, and yet honest too; We do not act, that often jest and laugh; 'Tis old but true, Still swine eat all the draff. 【Erit,

Re-enter Mrs. FORD, with two Servants. Mrs. Ford. Go, Sirs, take the basket again on your shoulders; your master is hard at door; if he bid you set it down, obey him: quickly, dispatch. [Exit. 1 Serv. Come, come, take it up.

2 Serv. Pray heaven, it be not full of the knight again. 1 Serv. I hope not; I had as lief bear so much lead.

Enter FORD, PAGE, SHALLOW, CAIUS, and
Sir HUGH EVANS.

Ford. Ay, but if it prove true, master Page, have you any way then to unfool me again?-Set down the basket, villain :-Somebody call my wife :—— You, youth in a basket, come out here!-0, you panderly rascals! There's a knot, a ging, a pack, a conspiracy against me: now shall the devil be shamed. What! Wife, I say! Come, come forth; behold what honest clothes you send forth to bleaching.

Page. Why, this passes+! Master Ford, you are not to go loose any longer; you must be pinion'd. Eva. Why, this is lunatics! This is mad as a mad

dog!

Shal. Indeed, master Ford, this is not well; indeed.

Enter Mrs. FORD.

Ford. So say I too, Sir.-Come hither, mistress Ford; mistress Ford, the honest woman, the modest wife, the virtuous creature, that hath the jealous fool to her husband!—I suspect without cause, mistress, do I?

Mrs. Ford. Heaven be my witness, you do if you suspect me in any dishonesty.

Ford. Well said, brazen-face; hold it out. Come forth, sirrah.

[Pulls the clothes out of the basket.

Page. This passes! Mrs. Ford. Are you not ashamed? Let the clothes alone.

Ford. I shall find you anon.

Eva. 'Tis unreasonable! Will you take up your wife's clothes? Come away.

Ford. Empty the basket, I say.
Mrs. Ford. Why, man, why,-

Ford. Master Page, as I am a man, there was one convey'd out of my house yesterday in this basket: Why may not he be there again? In my house I am sure he is: my intelligence is true; my jealousy is reasonable: pluck me out all the linen.

Mrs. Ford. If you find a man there, he shall die a flea's death.

Page. Here's no mán.

Shal. By my fidelity, this is not well, master Ford; this wrongs you.

Eva. Master Ford, you must pray, and not follow the imaginations of your own heart: this is jealousies. Ford. Well, he's not here I seek for.

Page. No, nor no where else, but in your brain. Ford. Help to search my house this one time if I find not what I seek, shew no colour for my extremity, let me for ever be your table sport; let them say of me, As jealous as Ford, that search'd a hollow walnut for his wife's leman. Satisfy me once more; once more search with me.

Mrs. Ford. What hoa, mistress Page! Come you, and the old woman down; my husband will come into the chamber.