that without Christ I can do nothing.

O that I

may, from this time forth, seek constantly to be endued with his Spirit, and for his help to overcome my fault-finding and differing disposition;

'O give me the heart that would wait and be still,
Nor know of a wish nor a pleasure but Thine.'

I do not think that I have made many steps in the right way since this time last year; and then, how awful is the thought, that I must have been going back. I fear I love this world more than Jesus.

Twelfth month, 19th, 1845. "During the past few weeks, I have frequently felt the goodness of the Lord; and I believe I may say, that I have felt greater thankfulness for the blessings I enjoy, than has often before been the case; but I still have great need to watch over a hasty, fault-finding, and discontented disposition, which leads me to speak to, and of others, in a manner which is quite contrary to the meek and lowly Spirit of Christ. I have also still to lament that I know but little of that entire prostration of soul before the Lord, in which Christ is felt to be our all. I have a very active mind, and it seems peculiarly difficult for me to attain to a state of mental stillness, yet I believe this is attainable, and, O, may I earnestly seek after it!

No. 11.

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First month, 15th, 1846. "Truly the Lord is very good; he hears and answers prayer, however feebly offered. He has lately permitted me, at times, to feel a little of that silence of all flesh before Him, in which the soul holds communion with Him, and feels that all good comes from Him alone; but I want to know far more of a steadfast abiding in Christ, in which alone I believe we can be safe from the attacks of the enemy. I have naturally a very strong will, and far too high an opinion of myself, and of my own judgment and discretion. I want to know my own will brought down, that I may know no will but Christ's, and that self may become of no reputation. Divine grace alone can work this change, and will assuredly work it, if I, on my part, do not resist its operations. Enable me, 0 Lord, to close in with the working of thy Spirit in my heart; and, for Christ's sake, help me to give up my own will, and to abide in Thee far more than I have yet done.

Fourth month, 3rd, 1846. "I have lately felt desirous of recording how good the Lord has been to me. Surely if I were but more willing to follow his guidance, I should have abundant cause to magnify his name. Though I sadly too often neglect to seek his help, I can truly say,

that whenever I have sought it, I have found it to be near, and often I have had great cause to rejoice in his mercy, and to be glad in his salvation. Yet, at times, a fear attends me lest I should not be allowing all my deeds to come to the light; and O, that I may keep nothing back, but that I may indeed know the Lord to search me! I want to be made quick of understanding in His holy fear, and to be much more afraid of offending Him; me to know that

and O, that He would enable the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart,' are acceptable in His holy sight; for I fear this is far from being the case, and while it is so, it is an evidence that my heart is not right. I must know far more of abiding in Christ before anything like Christian perfection is attained; nevertheless, I sometimes have a little hope which is indeed as an anchor to my soul.

Sixth month, 21st, 1846. "It is a privilege to have a quiet home, and kind friends, who are ever desirous for my best welfare; and it is a privilege, too, which I am very apt to forget, that there is a quiet home within, where I may be still. How strange, that notwithstanding I have felt the preciousness of the blood of Christ to my soul, and have at times known something of the

'communion of the Holy Ghost,' my mind is still so taken up with the pleasures of the world, and I so often descend from the watch-tower and allow earthly love to take the place of love to Christ, and of thankfulness to Him who has done so much for me. May I be quickened in the fear of the Lord, which is as a fountain of life to preserve from the snares of death.

Eighth month, 2nd, 1846. "I have had a cough for a month past, and feeling poorly a few evenings since, I was led to think that perhaps I should not live long, in which consideration I felt that my will was not resigned, and that I should not like to leave all the pleasant things of this world. I was grieved to find how much the thought of death pained me, for it shewed me that I still loved the world more than God; whereas I had sometimes comforted myself with the hope that, if my life were called for, I should be enabled to trust in Christ, and through Him to find an entrance into heaven. But it will not do to be thinking what we may be enabled to do, we must realize this blessed trust at the present time, if we hope to realize it at the day of death. My little indisposition has shown me how incapable the mind often is of seriously considering these things, when the body is out of health; what need there

is for me to give diligent heed to the things which I have heard, and believed, lest I should let them slip, and O, may I seek to know, day by day, that I have such an interest in Christ, as that I need fear no evil.

Eighth month, 4th, 1846. "My twenty-third birth-day. What a strange life I have led for the last five years! I have been acknowledging that Christ has an undoubted right to rule and reign in my heart, and yet I feel that his kingdom is not yet established there. Sometimes he has, I trust, been set up as King, but how often has the government been usurped by enemies who have said, 'We will not have this man to reign over us,' and whose servants have so filled the house, that there has been no room for the Prince of Peace! Yet, truly, the compassion of the Lord has been wonderful towards me, whenever I have turned to seek him; He has so often stretched forth the crook of his love to gather me into the fold, when my rebellious heart was wounded by the roaring lion that walketh about seeking whom he may devour, that there seems cause for me still to hope in His mercy, still to seek to abide in the true sheepfold, in which there is but one Shepherd. O, that after all this wondrous love, this being

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