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even like the stubble on the field which no mower hath mowed, and it appeared even as a scrubbingbrush.
9. And certain Ephraimites called unto him to shave his beard; but he answered and said, Nay, that will I not do.
10. But coming to a place, called a numerical figure, and the pride of Britain, shame was on him, and he called a penny barber unto him, and he was shaved; but the stubble waxed stubborn, and blood fell from his chin.
11. Now his shirt was a sore trouble to him; and he went to the cook of the centurion of the house he sojourned in, and he took flour, and therewith did he whiten the same; and also did he sprinkle a portion on his hair, and buttoned his vest, that his linen might not be seen by the people.
12. And great rejoicing was made, and there was feasting even on the fore leg of a sheep; and the days were as moments to the eyes of the guests.
13. And it came to pass, that on his return to his own country, he put his house in order, and took account of his merchandise and books; and the books were the more easy to do, as they only were two in number; and they were called Hudibrasso, and the works of Tom Brown the Wittite.
14. Having done these things, he communed with himself and said, Now will I enjoy myself; and he stood at his portal and ogled the daughters of pleasure as they passed before his house; but nothing more could he *
15. And night came, and drowsiness came on him; and he put on his night-cap of red flannel, and retired to his couch and slept soundly, and dreamt of
PRIVATION FOR EVER!··
[From the Morning Herald, Oct. 3.]
Discite quam parvo liceat producere vitam
N one of your late IN informed us of æ wager, which had been laid, relative to pedestrianism without food. It has indeed long been apparent, that pedestrianism, pure, simple, and unmixed, has nearly lost its interest, or rather one should say, has run it out with the public. The celebrated Barclay match was the first that connected pedestrianism with privation; and there is room for an inexhaustible variety of useful imitations of it in a nation so much addicted as ours to eating, drinking, and sleeping. That match was more a question of abstinence than of activity; and I have myself some hope of outvying the performance, since it has been supposed, that the possibility of abstaining from sleep depends much upon the certainty of not being fatigued by too much thought when we are awake.
We are, I hope, Mr. Editor, upon the eve of a series of experiments, by which it will be ascertained upon how little we can live and walk, and from which there. will result a complete system of the philosophy of privation! It is said, that Socrates, upon being led into a store of jewellery, exclaimed, "How many things are here, which I do not want!" The day may come in the progress of our improving age, when we may hear the same thing from an alderman in a tavern. I hope to see a long list of competitors, who shall not only walk, but ride, dance, shoot, box, hunt, make political speeches, and write books of philosophy, some without bread and others without gin, tifl
it shall be acknowledged, that in England, at least, reason is continuing to advance in her dominion over matter, and the perfectibility of human nature shall again be a topic with deistical scheme-stealers from German impostors.
While these experiments shall administer to the knowledge of the physician and the naturalist, we may also hope for other matches at privation worthy of the notice of the moralist and the observer of manners. We have run round the present sphere of our emulations in matters of amusement, till the track has become beaten and tiresome from its sameness. What new prospects arise for adventurers in nothingology; and, Mr. Editor, what new occasions for paragraphs! The newspapers will not fail to record the endurances, produced under the anti-consuming system. Methinks I see lying before you for your choice, a column of such paragraphs as the following:
"We are assured, that the Marchioness of has undertaken to abstain, for two nights in the next week, from rouge, routs, and cards.”
"The next session of Parliament is expected to be unusually tranquil, Mr. having undertaken to limit himself to five speeches per week, and not to make more than forty attempts to add the business and privileges of the executive power to those of the Legislature."
A certain Countess is in training for an absti. nence of a whole week from scandal."
"It is rumoured, that J—————— F————, Esq. the oldest of the Members in Parliament for Scotland, has bound himself not to drink more than two bottles of port per day, during a whole month.-N. B. This account requires confirmation.”
"Mr. Kemble has resolved to conduct a theatrical campaign without cavalry.”
"The editors of all the London papers have determined, that nothing but ascertained truths shall appear in their columns.-N. B. It is intended to reduce the papers to one-fourth of their present size."
1 am, Mr. Editor, your obedient servant,
NE QUID NIMIS
THE LOST BOX.
TO THE EDITOR OF THE MORNING CHRONICLE.
I'M a justice of peace, and lives at Hackney, and my wife is a very genteel lady, I assure you, and was bread up at Camden House Boarding School, which takes its name from that great nobleman, whose abilities have entitled him so justly to the high situation he now holds. Now, my wife always reads the newspaper to me at breakfast, and frightens me terribly, by saying, that we live in such alarming times, no one can tell what will become of us; and then to-day, dear me, how she screamed out when she came to that paragraph, which mentioned, that a hackney-coachman had run away with the papers of some great man, and that all the state secrets might be made public, and then there would be an end of us all.
"Let us, my dear," says she, "be upon the lookout; to be sure Sukey will be gossipping to-day; but watch every coach that passes. She had scarce said these words, but who should drive by but our Bob, who robbed Sukey of her wedding ring, and took Jenny's thimble and nutmeg out of her box; and, sure enough, he pulled up at the Man in the Moon.
"Oh! oh!" says I to myself," then I have caught you, by gosh, and my fortune is made, if you are the man;" and sure enough it was so, "You rascal," says I to the constable, "I seize you in the King's name, and the Regent's too;" so down upon his knees he plumps himself, and cried out "Mercy, and I will tell all." So he opened his horse bags, and, sure enough, instead of oats, out tumbled a parcel of pa pers, and a little red trunk, just like what our liule prattling Jeffery keeps his playthings in. " So, so, Coachy," says I, "where does all this come from?" "Wby, please your honour's worship," says he, "I'm a poor honest man, and we cannot always drive those who are like ourselves; so, an't please you, as I was plying top o' St. James's, up comes a thick jolterheaded sort of a chap, and wants me to take him to King Street, Westminster, for a shilling— No,' says I, I'll have two, if I tips you the long trot.'- Well, then,' he, 'I'm your man, for I want dinner sadly, and am in a hurry." Hurry,' says I, ha good indeed! hurry no man's cattle; you may have a Jack-ass of your own some of these days, and perhaps have got one when you 're at home now.' So in I packs him, and mortal heavy he was, ballast behind and before. I thought, howsomever, I seed him sinouch, as it were, somewhat under his coat, as thoff he was after no good; and, says I to myself, Why, my pig-headed one, you got up in a hurry this morning for he had one garter over his stocking. So off I drove him to K-g S-t. Now my fare, your honour, was two shillings, without the long trot; and, would you believe it, he gave me one bad one; so when I found out how he had rummed me, I thought it was but fair to dash him. 'So,' says I, 'I'll keep your little trunk for you, Master Jolter; for I see you be but a aw one, to leave your matters in my coach. This, is the account I got from this insolent fellow, whom I have