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Here the swill'd sons of riot swear;
Doing what's rude, because they dare!
And all the charm of ceremony's over!!!

***

SYMPTOMS OF MAGNANIMITY.

We are informed, from the highest authority (locally considered), that yesterday morning the Sieur Le Bernard, M. C. of Dandelion, called upon his august competitor for fame and fortune, the Sieur Le Bas, M. C. of Margate, Ramsgate, Broadstairs, and Bath, to inquire the state of his health, after his recent row with Colonel ——— and Captain ; when the domestic delivered the following consolatory bulletin:

"Much recovered, though a little uneasy in mind yet.-Dreamed of a pirouette at 3 A. M. and kicked down his panado: but the feverish indications are abated, and his complete restoration to pristine health may be looked for with confidence.

"

On hearing this, the polished regulator of movements at Dandelion proudly exclaimed, like a Christian, a gentleman, and a chevalier, as he is, "I thank my stars !" This instance of benignity was not lost; for the moment that the Sieur Le Bas heard the liberal ejaculation, he descended (sine cucullo), like a flash of lightning, to the foot of the stairs, and pressed his rival to his swelling bosom! This fraternal hug was not ineffectual; for the Loves and the Graces saw it, with transport, from the edge of a blue cloud that hung over the North Foreland, and dispatched a young zephyr, to signify their pleasure at this felicitous reconciliation, and, at the same time, to deliver the following billet d'amitié, signed by the whole party, viz.

"In all the globe, but heroes two we know,
Bernard the graceful, and Le Bas the beau!"

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THE RUSTICATED CANTAB.
[From the British Press, Sept. 5.]
READ worthies, I bow at your shrine,
And, kneeling submissive, petition
You'll pardon this false step of mine,
And pity my dismal condition.
When ye met all together of late,

In the room which we term combination,
To fix your petitioner's fate,

Alas! why did you choose rustication? That my conduct was wrong, I must own,

And your justice am forc'd to acknowledge; But can I in nowise atone

For my fault, without leaving the college? Consider how strange 't will appear,

In the mind of each fine jolly fellow, That a Cantab was banish'd a year,

Just for rowing a little when mellow. You have precedents, no one denies,

To prove it but just that I went hence; But, surely, no harm could arise,

If ye were to relax in your sentence. No; trust me, much good should proceed From granting this very great favour ; For, imprest with a sense of the deed,

I'd carefully mend my behaviour. You will, then, have on me a fast hold,

For gratitude 's stronger than any tie; Then pray do not think me too bold

In thus begging hard for some lenity! But, why should I humbly implore,

Since to you all my sorrow's a farce? I'll supplicate fellows no more!

So, ye Reverend Dons-[caret pars!] The lad who good drinking enjoys,

I'll cheerfully pledge in a full can, Rustication 's quite common, my boys, Remember Apollo and Vulcan:

These

These two heroes were hurl'd from the skies,
Neither forges nor music could save them,
For, heartily dg their eyes,

Jove a travelling fellowship gave them.
Then, no longer let mortals repine,

If to grass sent from Oxon or Granta,
But stick to the blessings divine,

Which flow from a well-fill'd decanter.
When our goblets with nectar are crown'd,
And our spirits rise faster and faster,
While good humour smiles gaily around,
A fig for the Fellows and Master!

LINES,

INSCRIBED TO GOVERNOR ARIS, 1

[From the same, Sept. 6.]

-Redeunt Saturnia regna.

AWAY with democratic fears,

We now no longer need 'em ;
For Aris self, it now appears,
Has turn'd his thoughts to freedom.
If home and all its dear delight
With democrat no care is,
"Pro Focis" if he will not fight,
Oh, let him fight-" pro ris."

A SCENE FROM THE CRITIC,
PERFORMED AT THE HOUSE OF CORRECTION.
[From the Morning Chronicle, Sept. 26.]
Enter Governor with hair properly disordered.

GOVERNOR.

A HEMISPHERE of evil planets reigns!

And every planet sheds contagious frenzy! My great swell pris'ner and his pal are flown! But hark! I'm summon'd to attend the bench;a

C 3

Perhaps

Perhaps the beaks have met: amazing crisis!
O Dan, O Dan, from thy poor father's head
Thou'st pluck'd the few green laurels time had left:
You will be sent to quod, and I must bolt!

ON THE NEW MINT.

[From the same, Sept. 11.]

IN

N the absence of guineas a new Mint is rear'd,
As the stable was lock'd when the steed disappear'd."

EXTEMPORE LINES

ON A MARRIAGE WHICH TOOK PLACE LAST MONTH IN
NORTHAMPTONSHIRE, BETWEEN MR. C. GUDGEON AND
MISS A. LOVE. '

[From the same, Sept. 12.]
TO Cupid all mortals knock under,

Men and beasts his soft influence prove;
Then surely 'tis no such great wonder
To hear of a GUDGEON in LOVE!
Swan Tavern, Sept. 8, 1810.

M.

THE IMPATIENT GENERALS.
[From the same, Sept. 21.]

SAYS Well-ton brave, to Massena the great,

"Come on!-quite impatient to fight you-I wait." Say's Massena the great, to brave Well-ton, "I wait!-quite impatient to fight you--Come on!" Sept. 20, 1810.

H. G.

NEGLECT OF WATCHMEN.

TO THE EDITOR OF THE PUblic ledger, &c.
[Sept. 21.]

SIR,

OUR correspondent, Civis, bears a little too hard upon our venerable guardians of the night, upon account of certain alleged negligence on the part of

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these gentlemen in the case of disturbances. Some apology, however, may be offered, and they ought not, to be deprived of it. I strongly suspect that they mistake the nature of their office; and, being persons advanced in years, conceive that their business is to show an example of quiet and peaceable behaviour; and which, if it were followed by the younger part of the citizens, would, no doubt, produce very salutary, effects. Nothing, indeed, can be more quiet and circumspect than these venerable worthies, nor more deserving of praise. According to your correspondent's account, they carefully avoid even the very appearance of mobs and riots, and all mixing with bad company, particularly with those gay young men and women who promenade our streets at an hour when sober and quiet persons ought to be in their beds; or, like our watchmen, gravely and quietly proclaiming how tempus fugit.

This, however, your correspondent may perceive, is an error in judgment, a thing which is always thought excusable; but I apprehend it arises from another circumstance, which I wish to plead in favour of the gentlemen of the pole and lantern. Perhaps, after all, our magistrates are to blame in this business. Great pains are taken with every description of persons concerned in the administration of the law, except watchmen. Regular lectures, under the name of charges, are given to grand juries and petty juries, and every other class of persons with whom our liberties are intrusted. Even volumes have been written for the information of justices and constables, overseers and churchwardens, &c, ; but not one word is ever addressed, by way of instruction, to watch

men.

This, I apprehend, Sir, is a neglect of modern times. It was not so formerly. It was not so in the "good days of Queen Bess.' In the writings of one Mr. € 4 William

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