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272 SCHEME FOR PAYING THE NATIONAL debt.
a Foreign Prince *. While the Spanish Monarch Janguishes in captivity, his coins of silver, " that will abide the fire," have been elevated, and these meretricious beauties of which it complains have been permitted to come in, in increased numbers, in order that they may make the tokens stay.
Your Petitioner, therefore, as a subject of our Sovereign, demands equal justice; he prays to be delivered from the noxious embraces of Four-and-Twenty Protectors, who know not his worth, and, by permitting him to go alone while his family is not quite extinguished, he has well-founded hopes that he will keep his place among you, secure your liberties and properties, and, as his power increases, he will diminish the number of your and his enemies.
By taking all these premises into your serious consideration, your humble Petitioner will ever pray, &c. &c.
[From the Morning Chronicle, July 6.]
FOR PAYING THE NATIONAL DEBT, AND SUPERSEDING THE NECESSITY OF TAXES.
[From the same, July 11.]
I PROPOSE, that an inquiry should be made into
the income of the Bank Directors.
2. Into the salaries paid the Clerks of every denomination connected with, as well as those in, the Bank employ.
Having so done, by way of complete satisfaction to all the parties concerned, I propose to double the amount of their incomes.
* Alluding to the notice from the Bank to take in Dollars, which were current at 5s., at 5s. 6d.
The ground being thus cleared, I propose an act should be passed, compelling all manner of persons to receive Bank notes at their denominated value. Then an act to take possession of the concerns of the Bank (to which no objection could be raised, all the parties being satisfied as above).
Being thus legally in possession of the Paper Ma chine, I propose paying the National Debt, by giving to every one of the large Stock holders notes of 1000l. each, to the amount of their respective claims-after which I would in like manner proceed to pay the lesser
Now, Mr. Editor, you perceive, by only admitting that Paper is Money, how pleasant the office of State Minister will become, and in how little time the bur dens of the people may be taken from their shoulders. 7th July, 1811.
[From the Morning Herald, July 156]
THOUGH my feet caper'd first with the smart Emma
My eyes danc'd in chase of her sister;
And salt tears never fail'd in their sockets to throng
So bewitching her jewels-attractive her pelf,
'Mid the tumult of waltzing, and wild Irish reels, As prime dancer I'm sure to get at her;
And by Love's graceful movements to trip up her heels,
As the Long and the short of the matter!
Cocoa Tree, July 13.
MARGATE, JULY 21.
A TOUCH OF THE MARvellous.
LA AST Friday, as Mrs. Philpott's maitresse-femme was reclining upon the eastern cliff, to watch some linen that was placed there, like a Mussulman at Mecca, to be blanched and purified, she heard, or swears that she heard, a very animated colloquy between a Shirt, that belongs to an old Bachelor, who boards in Hawley Square, and a Chemise, which appertains to á maiden Lady of the same Table d'Hotesse. This event has caused as great a sensation here as the Cock Lane Ghost did in London, when credulity had even a broader establishment in the metropolis than in our times. Crowds arrive daily from Broadstairs, Kingsgate, and St. Peter's, to visit the miraculous spot, and gather evidence as to the fact. The following poetical chit-chat is said to contain the spirit of this wonder-inspiring dialogue. The merit of the versification is attributed to one of our celebrated M. C.'s; but whether it is the dancing bard of Margate, or his great compeer of Dandelion, is not as yet precisely ascertained, as they are " Arcades ambo," equally refined and erudite, and far above mortal parallel.
THE SHIRT AND CHEMISE.
"On affronte, pour vous, la mode et l'etiquette;
Chacun deserte la toilette;
Et, seule, la Beauté s'endort dans le boudoir !"
To a Holland Chemise,
Quoth a Shirt (ill at ease),
"Sweet wench, pr'ythee say,
When we both might be happier together."
Said the Shift to the Shirt,
Spread me here, because she was the stronger
Cut the thread of my life,
If I'll bear this affront any longer.
"Now, ye Gods! see a lass
"Can the M. C. look on,
And, s'blood, some will handle my linen!
Hither, calm Hannah M.
Such as Ursula's self would call clever ;
"Lift me up from the dirt,"
"And don't let a poor Lady be penn'd on 't.
Come and act like a man
Said the Shirt, "Ma'am, and so there's an end on 't!"
[From the Morning Post, July 24.]
BURNING with rage, fierce Napoleon cries,
ON READING THE EXPOSE'.
[From the same.]
NAPOLEON still boasts that he'll drive us from Spain,
Aye, and Portugal too, if he can ;
That his thief-coupled conscripts shall cover the plain,
Let his bandcuff'd conscriptions come on, if they dare,
OF ODE XVI.-BOOK 111.-HORACE,
[From the Morning Chronicle, July 25.]
HEN Danae's father smok'd old Jove's
In chamber dark, on attic floor,