"Well answer'd, Doctor," said the sapient College;
"That cure is radical, and shows your knowledge."
Just so, by forceps of a revolution,

Some are for curing Britain's Constitution.
So Fawkes intended, when, with fiery Brand,
He went to kill the Magnates of the land;
And there is still a B-d, likewise a F-
Who think such cures are very pretty jokes ;
Who only wanted (to display their skills)
Guildhall, for warehousing combustibles.
Then they'd have come, in thunder and in storm,
And blown up all—a radical Reform!



[From the same, June 11.]

EPULS'D in the city, our patriots seek

The Free Masons' Tavern, to gorge and to speak.
Their madmen assemble to plan revolution,
And prate about mending the State's Constitution.
But in vain will the rogues information seek there,
Who, nor keep within compass, nor deal on the square.
To honours masonic, all claims must resign,
Though each may, ere long, be rais'd high in his line.
Who can hope that a fabric like that Britons boast
Will e'er be excell'd by this hot-headed host?

Let each mind his business, who fain would do good,
And re-form his own house, shop, or warehouse, with Wood.



[From the same, June 13]

ONCE, 'tis said, perhaps 't is true,

Brutes could talk as well as you;

But that, often interfering
About concerns they had no care in,
Jove, to punish such rank treason,
Took away their speech and reason.


Since then a few have learnt a smattering,
And scarcely ever cease from chattering;
Though, after all, the sole pretence is
To bother man out of his senses,
Just as parrots speak by rote,
Repeating over the same note;

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In blustering language, loud and warm,
Bellowing out Reform! reform!"
A few of the most discontented,
Great Britain's envied state repented;
And grumbled much, both soon and late,
They govern'd not the helm of State.
All o'er the country soon was sent
The cry
"Reform in Parliament !"
And ev'ry brute was then invited,
In "the great cause" to be united.
In London next they fix'd a meeting,
As well for speaking as for eating;
For, be sure, these hungry beasts
Had never much dislike to feasts;
Yet, e'en among the brutes were some,
Who, though invited, would not come;
And, after all, so scant and thrifty,
They muster'd little more than fifty.

Of these, most sure to find a place,
Half were of the long-ear'd race,
Some were hogs in Hampshire bred,
Others Essex culves 't is said;

A few were geese, graz'd on the Downs-hill,
And plenty from the Common Council;
And where geese are, I do insist on 't,

Foxes will not be far distant.

The conclave met, the chair is taken,
By one design'd to hang-for bacon;
And then began a long debate
About abuses in the State;"

Of selling places, giving pensions,

To which they all declar'd pretensions.

The Foxes' knowledge was most thorough
Upon the score of rotten borough;

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usually consumed; and appoint larger allowances of bone to all mutton chops. I remain, Sir,

Most profoundly yours,

June 8, Swan Tavern, near St. Martin's Lane.



[From the Morning Post, June 18.]

-E'en such a man, so woe-begone!

E. M.


HEN Wardle began the political line,

The world all predicted his speedy decline; But his friends, as excusing, one reason would quote~, 'Twas a contract refus'd for an army great coat. But when on reforming abuses he spoke,

For the coat they agreed-his reform was a cloak.



HEN Uproar for Freedom no longer shall pass,
With Waithman departed; the skin of the ass
May still stand in very good stead :

For the use of our army, then chang'd to a drum,
Though troublesome once, he may useful become,
And still make a noise though he's dead.


[From the Morning Herald, June 18.]

"Laugh at the pert and foolish; if they're sore,
So much the better-you may laugh the more!"



IE splenetic conversazionis which have prevailed for some days, amongst those who could not reasonably have expected to receive cards of invitation, are whimsical beyond measure, and would afford matter in plenty for an additional scene to the School for


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Scandal. The following sketch of a dialogue that took place a day or two past, may give some idea of various other colloquies, which the disappointed hopes. and pride of the mortified and resentful have called forth:

SCENE-Berkeley Square.

Lady BAB RESTLESS, Hon. Mrs. UPTONGUE, Miss JUNIPER, and Sir HARRY EASY, seated.

Sir Harry Easy. Nay, nay, every body, you know, my dear Lady Bab, could not have been thought of. Lady Bab. But if you please, Sir Harry, nobody of my rank in life ought to have been forgotten!

Miss J. Lady Juniper, my mamma, might have had tickets for us both, had she condescended to owe an obligation to a page of the back stairs.

Sir Harry E-. I don't doubt it, my dear.

Hon. Mrs. U. For my part, I can bear any mortification but silent contempt. My grandmother, by my revered father's side, was bedchamber-woman. to the Princess Dowager of Ws; of course, we call ourselves of the family, and therefore ought not to have been neglected !

Miss J. And sure there's no such mighty favour in it; for I am well informed, that there will be plenty of tickets on Wednesday morning, at Hookham's, dog-cheap, after all.

Lady Bab. What a ridiculous melange there must be! If all should come who are invited, there will be some miraculous appearances, as tickets are gone out to three Dowager Countesses, and two Baronets' widows, who have lain quietly in their graves for seven years, to my knowledge.-(General laugh.) Sir Harry. Very good, Lady Bab! Miss J. How preposterous!

Lady Bab. It can be but a Bartholomew-fair business, after all the fuss that has been made about it;

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for Shn, who you know is manager, told me but this very morning, that he was obliged to send an express down to Birmingham for the acting horses to come up to entertain the company!

Hon. Mrs. U. How brutal!

Sir Harry. Too excellent, I fear, to be true!

Miss J. I heard him tell my mamma the very same thing, 'pon honour!

Hon. Mrs. U. Then as to the national good they talk so much about; though I think I am full as charitable as my neighbours, I cannot see what earthly good cau arise from setting the Spital Fields weavers, and other raw-bone fellows, to work in this way, who might be more usefully employed in fighting against that monster Buonaparte in Spain and Portugal!

Sir Harry. But surely, Ma'am thus dispensing bread to so many deserving families of the indigent, and in such distressful times-

Miss J. Nonsense, Sir Harry!-Have we not asy lums and workhouses for them in plenty?

Hon. Mrs. U. But you have a ticket, Lady Bab, no doubt?

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Lady Bab. Not I.-Knowing what kind of affair it would be, I wrote to Colonel Thing-a'-me, desiring that I might not be troubled with a card.

Sir Harry. That's rather strange, Lady Bab! Pray how long may this kind of capriccio

Lady Bub. Not at all strange, Sir! Why, you heard me say a hundred times, that I would not have gone to it for the world.

Sir Harry. Certainly so-and there was so much fiction, as well as fancy, in the idea, that I have thought it worth while thus to record it in jingle:

"I would not go for all the world,
The thing will be so low !"
"That is, my Lady Bab," quoth I,
"You'd give the world to go!"


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