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Brid. Dear heart! I am all of a twitteration !Who can these be ?- That's my lord, for certain !
Lord G. The vulgarity of the wench is astonishing!
Gov. –Um-why, a little gawky, or so—there's no denying it.—[ Aside.] Here's a pretty discovery, now, after all my projects - Thank Fortune, the secret is yet my own, though.
Lord G. (Advancing to her.] I ought to beg your excuse, madam, for so abrupt an intrusion; but the opportunity, and so fair a temptation, will, I flatter myself, be a sufficient apology
Brid. (Aside.] He takes me for my lady, that's a sure thing !-Oh, this is charming !- You need not make no 'pologys, my lord ;-inferials never knows how to suspect people of quality ; but I understands good breeding better.
Lord G. [Aside.) Why, what a barn-door mawkin it is!-Your politeness, madam, can only be equalled by your beauty! .
Brid. Dear heart, my lord, you flatter me!-Won't you please to sit?
[Waits affectedly till they consent to seat themselves. Lord G. [To the Governor.] Surely by using my title, she knows me!
Gov. Zounds! I have a great mind to make her know me !-03! I shall never be able to contain !
Lord G. I was afraid, madam, I should prove an unwelcome guest—but beauty like your's
Brid. Does your lordship think I so very handsome, then ?-Lord, how lucky was my dressing myself!
Lord G. [Aside.) Affected idiot!I was afraid, madam, too, of meeting Woodville here.—[ Aside ] I know not what to say to her.
* Brid. He has not been here this morning; but, if he had, he knows better than to ax arter my company, I do assure you, my-lordship.
Lord G. I have been told he intends marrying you; what a pity to monopolize such merit!
Brid. If he has any such kind intention, 'tis more than I knows of, I assure you.
Lord G. His keeping that wise resolution from you, is some little comfort, however.
Brid. But, I promise ye, I shall make a rare person of quality; for I loves cards, coaches, dancing, and dress, to my very heart—nothing in the world betterbut blindman's-buff. I had some thoughts of taking a trip to Sadler's-Wells or Fox-Hall, but they don't begin till five o'clock.
God. (Aside,] Ha! ha!-though she can hardly spell out the Ten Commandments, she could break every one with as much ease and impudence, as if she had been bred in the circle of St. James's.
Lord G. But, madam, you know, allowing Woodville willing to marry you, it is not in his power while his father lives, without forfeiting his fortune, the value of which you doubtless understand ?
Brid. Oh yes, yes, for sartin, my lord.
Lord G. Who knows too, how far an incensed parent may carry his resentment ?-He might find means to entrap and punish you.
Brid. Ha, ha, ha!-he entrap me!-that would be a good jest !—No, no, I have more of the lady of quality than to be so easily catch’d.
Goo. (Mimicking her.) He, he, he !—that is the only particular in which you have nothing at all of the lady of quality.
Lord G. With me you may share a higher rank and larger fortune without those fears—I am of an age
Brid. Yes, one may see that without being a conjurer— Why, will you marry me, my lord ? · Lord G. Convince me that you don't love this Woodville, and I know not how far my passion may carry me.
Brid. Love him?-Do you think I knows no more of high life than that comes to ?-To be sure, he is a sweet pretty man, and all that --but as to love, I loves nobody half so well as myself!
Lord G. Upon my soul, I believe you; and wish he had the whole benefit of the declaration.-[To the GoVERNOR.] Her ingratitude is as shocking as her ignorance, and Bridewell too gentle a punishment.
Gov. Then build a Bridewell large enough to contain the whole sex; for the only difference between her and the rest is—this country mawkin tells what the townbred misses conceal.
Lord G. Why, Governor, you are as testy as if you had the care of her education.
Gov. I the care?--Zounds, what I say is merely from friendship to your lordship. I hate to see you deceive yourself.--[Aside.] Surely he can never sus
[Bridget is employed in cramming trinkets from the
dressing-table into her pockets. Brid. Now I am ready to go, my lord.
Lord G. Reflect, madam; it would hurt me to have you say I deceived you—if you should repent-I am much afraid you will.
Brid. What, when I am a lady? Oh, I'll venture that, and attend you.
Gov. [Roughly snatching her other hand.] To where you little dream of, you vain, affected, presuming, ignoTant baggage.
Brid. Hey-day!-my lord!
Lord G. Appeal not to me, base woman !-Know I am the father of that poor dupe, Woodville. · Brid. Dear heart! be ye indeed ?-What will become of me, then?
Lord G. And, as a moderate punishment for your hypocrisy, ambition, and ingratitude, sentence you to be shut up for life in a monastery.
- Brid. O lord ! among monsters ?
Goo. No, ignoramus !—No, among nuns; though they are but monsters in human nature either.
Brid. What, where they'll cut off my hair, and make me wear sackcloth next my skin ?
Goo. Yes, if they leave you any skin at all. · Brid. Oh dear, dear, dear! [Sobs and grouns.] Upon my bended knees, I do beg you won't send me there!
-Why, I shall go mallancholly_I shall make away with myself for sartain ; and my ghost will appear to you all in white.
Gov. All in black, I rather think ; for the devil a speck of white is there in your whole composition.
Lord G. Your conduct, wretch! justifies a severer sentence.—To seduce him from his duty, was crime enough!
Brid. Who, I seduce him? I did not, my lord indeed I did not.
Lord G. Have you not owned
Brid. No, indeed, no; that I wished to take my lady's place, I believe I did own
Gov. Ha, ha, ha! Very prettily devised, faith, for a young beginner !—Come, come, [Chucking her under the chin.] we must give you credit for this, miss-Your lady? Ha, ha, ha! Lord G. Shallow subterfuge!
Enter Vane and the Slaves.' Yane, is all ready ?-Seize this woman, and observe my orders!
Brid. Ah, dear heart! I shall die away if the blacks do but touch me-Indeed you do mistake ! -I be no lady-I be only Bridget!
Gov. I would give ten thousand pounds that you were only Bridget, you artful puss !--Zounds! though I could one moment strangle the pug's face in her own necklace, yet the next I can hardly prevail on myself LORD GLENMORE enters. Oh heavens, my lord !-How unlucky!-if I go, he may find the captain with Miss Mortimer!
Lord G. You see, madam, you have only to retire, to engage us to pursue you even to rudeness. But, tell me, can it be your own choice to punish us so far as to prefer solitude to our society.
Cec. I know myself too well, my lord, to receive distinctions of which I am unworthy :-yet think not, therefore, I fail in respect..
Lord G. But is that charming bosom susceptible of nothing beyond respect ?- Why is it capable of inspiring a passion it cannot participate?
Cec. Your goodness, my lord—my profound veneration, will always attend you—but, the more generously you are inclined to forget what is due to yourself, the more strongly it is impressed on my memory.
Lord G. Were what you say true, the bounties of Nature atone amply to you for the parsimony of Fortune, nor would your want of every other advantage lessen your merit, or my sense of it.
Cec. [Aside.] Had he thought thus a few months since, how happy had I now been !-Your approbation at once flatters and serves me, by justifying Miss Mortimer's protection of me.
Lord G. Her partiality for you, does her more honour than it can ever do you advantage. But you must tell me, how she gained first the happiness of knowing you.
Cec. My--my lord, by a misfortune so touching
Lord G. Nay, I would not distress you neither; yet, I own, madam, I wish to make a proposal worth a serious answer; but ought first to know, why you affect a mystery? Tell me then, my dear, every incident of your life, and I will raise you to a title, I may without vanity say, many have aspired to!