portion of the earth, if I had not snatched it from obscurity in the very nick of time, at the moment that those matters herein recorded were about entering into the widespread insatiable maw of oblivion—if I had not dragged them out, as it were, by the very locks, just as the monster's adamantine fangs were closing upon them for ever. And here have I, as before observed, carefully collected, collated, and arranged them, scrip and scrap, 'punt en punt, gat en gat,” and commenced in this little work a history to serve as a foundation on which other historians may hereafter raise a noble superstructure, swelling in process of time, until Knickerbocker's New York may be equally voluminous with Gibbon's Rome, or Hume and Smollet's England!

66

And now indulge me for a moment, while I lay down my pen, skip to some little eminence at the distance of two or three hundred years ahead; and, casting back a bird's eye glance over the waste of years that is to roll between, discover myself-little I!—at this moment the progenitor, prototype, and pre

cursor of them all, posted at the head of this host of literary worthies, with my book under my arm, and New York on my back, pressing forward, like a gallant commander, to honour and immortality.

Such are the vain-glorious imaginings that will now and then enter into the brain of the author-that irradiate, as with celestial light, his solitary chamber, cheering his weary spirits, and animating him to persevere in his labours. And I have freely given utterance to these rhapsodies whenever they have occurred; not I trust, from an unusual spirit of egotism, but merely that the reader may for once have an idea how an author thinks and feels while he is writing—a kind of knowledge very rare and curious, and much to be desired.

CONTAINING DIVERS INGENIOUS THEORIES AND PHI-

LOSOPHIC SPECULATIONS, CONCERNING THE CREA-

TION AND POPULATION OF THE WORLD, AS CON-

NECTED WITH THE HISTORY OF NEW YORK.

CHAP. I.-Description of the World

CHAP. II.-Cosmogony, or Creation of the World; with

a multitude of excellent theories, by which the crea-

tion of a world is shown to be no such difficult mat-

ter as common folk would imagine

CHAP. III.-How that famous navigator, Noah, was

shamefully nick-named; and how he committed an

unpardonable oversight in not having four sons. With

the great trouble of philosophers caused thereby,

and the discovery of America

CHAP. IV. Showing the great difficulty Philosophers

have had in peopling America-And how the Abo-

rigines came to be begotten by accident-to the

great relief and satisfaction of the Author

CHAP. V. In which the Author puts a mighty ques-

tion to the rout, by the assistance of the Man in the

C

33

41

52

60

CONTENTS

Moon-which not only delivers thousands of people

from great embarrassment, but likewise concludes

this introductory book

BOOK II.

Page

68

TREATING OF THE FIRST SETTLEMENT OF THE PRO-

VINCE OF NIEUW NEDERLANDTS.

CHAP. I.-In which are contained divers reasons why a

man should not write in a hurry. Also of Master

Hendrick Hudson, his discovery of a strange country

-and how he was magnificently rewarded by the

munificence of their High Mightinesses

CHAP. II.-Containing an account of a mighty Ark

which floated, under the protection of St. Nicholas,

from Holland to Gibbet Island-the descent of the

strange Animals therefrom-a great victory, and a

description of the ancient village of Communipaw

CHAP. III.-In which is set forth the true art of making

a bargain-together with the miraculous escape of a

great Metropolis in a fog-and the biography of cer-

tain heroes of Communipaw

88

101

109

CHAP. IV. How the heroes of Communipaw voyaged

to Hell-Gate, and how they were received there

118

CHAP. V.-How the heroes of Communipaw returned

somewhat wiser than they went-and how the sage

Oloffe dreamed a dream-and the dream that he

dreamed

CHAP. VI.-Containing an attempt at etymology-and,

of the founding of the great city of New-Amsterdam

CHAP. VII.-How the city of New-Amsterdam waxed

great, under the protection of Oloffe the Dreamer

131

136

145

CONTENTS.

Page

BOOK III.

IN WHICH IS RECORDED THE GOLDEN REIGN OF WOUTER

VAN TWILLER.

CHAP. I.-Of the renowned Wouter Van Twiller, his

unparalleled virtues-as likewise his unutterable wis-

dom in the law case of Wandle Schoonhoven and

Barent Bleecker-and the great admiration of the

public thereat

CHAP. II.-Containing some account of the grand

council of New-Amsterdam, as also divers especial

good philosophical reasons why an alderman should

be fat-with other particulars touching the state of

the province

152

162

CHAP. III. How the town of New-Amsterdam arose

out of mud, and came to be marvellously polished

and polite-together with a picture of the manners

of our great great grandfathers

174

CHAP. IV.-Containing further particulars of the

Golden Age, and what constituted a fine Lady and

Gentleman in the days of Walter the Doubter

CHAP. V.-In which the reader is beguiled into a de-

lectable walk, which ends very differently from what

it commenced

CHAP. VI.—Faithfully describing the ingenious people

of Connecticut and thereabouts-Showing, more-

over, the true meaning of liberty of conscience, and

a curious device among these sturdy barbarians, to

keep up a harmony of intercourse, and promote po-

pulation

CHAP. VII.-How these singular barbarians turned out

to be notorious squatters. How they built air castles,

and attempted to initiate the Nederlanders in the

mystery of bundling

183

190

196

203