former appeared so incompetent a judge of merit; so, paying for the "Young Attorney's Guide," which good manners obliged me to buy, I walked off.

My pursuit after famous men now brought me into a print shop. Here, thought I, the painter only reflects the public voice. As every man who deserved it had formerly his statue placed up in the Roman forum, so here, probably, the pictures of none but such as merit a place in our affections are held up for public sale. But, guess my surprise, when I came to examine this depository of noted faces! all distinctions were levelled here, as in the grave, and I could not but regard it as the catacomb of real merit. The brick-dust man took up as much room as the truncheoned hero, and the judge was elbowed by the thief-taker; quacks, pimps, and buffoons, increased the group, and noted stallions only made room for more noted strumpets. I had read the works of some of the moderns, previous to my coming to England, with delight and approbation, but I found their faces had no place here; the walls were covered with the names of authors I had never known, or had endeavoured to forget; with the little self-advertising things of a day, who had forced themselves into fashion, but not into fame. I could read at the bottom of some pictures the names of * *, and * * *, and * * * *, all equally candidates for the vulgar shout, and foremost to propagate their unblushing faces upon brass. My uneasiness, therefore, at not finding my few favourite names among the number, was changed into congratulation. I could not avoid reflecting on the fine observation of Tacitus, on a similar occasion. In this cavalcade of flattery, cries the historian, neither the pictures of Brutus, Cassius, nor Cato, were to be seen; eo clariores quia imagines eorum non deferabantur, their absence being the strongest proof of their merit.

It is in vain, cried I, to seek for true greatness among

these monuments of the unburied dead; let me go among the tombs of those who are confessedly famous, and see if any have been lately deposited there, who deserve the attention of posterity, and whose names may be transmitted to my distant friend, as an honour to the present age. Determined in my pursuit, I paid a second visit to Westminster Abbey. There I found several new monuments erected to the memory of several great men; the names of the great men I absolutely forget, but I well remember that Roubillac was the statuary who carved them. I could not help smiling at two modern epitaphs in particular, one of which praised the deceased for being ortus ex antiquâ stirpe; the other commended the dead, because hanc ædem suis sumptibus reædificavit: the greatest merit of one consisted in his being descended from an illustrious house; the chief distinction of the other, that he had propped up an old house that was falling. Alas, alas! cried I, such monuments as these confer honour, not upon the great men, but upon little Roubillac. (1)

Hitherto disappointed in my enquiry after the great of the present age, I was resolved to mix in company, and try what I could learn among critics in coffee-houses; and here it was that I heard my favourite names talked of even with inverted fame. A gentleman of exalted merit as a writer, was branded in general terms as a bad man; another of exquisite delicacy as a poet, was reproached for wanting goodnature; a third was accused of free-thinking; and a fourth of having once been a player. Strange, cried I, how unjust are mankind in the distribution of fame! the ignorant, among whom I sought at first, were willing to grant, but incapable of distinguishing the virtues of those who deserved it;

(1) [An acquaintance with the person of the sculptor seems implied by this passage; a matter on which there exists doubt, although asserted by Sir John Hawkins; who relates a trick of Roubillac on Goldsmith.]

among those I now converse with, they know the proper objects of admiration, but mix envy with applause.

Disappointed so often, I was now resolved to examine those characters in person, of whom the world talked so freely. By conversing with men of real merit, I began to find out those characters which really deserved, though they strove to avoid, applause. I found the vulgar admiration entirely misplaced, and malevolence without its sting. The truly great, possessed of numerous small faults and shining virtues, preserve a sublime in morals as in writing. They who have attained an excellence in either, commit numberless transgressions, observable to the meanest understanding. The ignorant critic and dull remarker, can readily spy blemishes in eloquence or morals, whose sentiments are not sufficiently elevated to observe a beauty. But such are judges neither of books nor of life; they can diminish no solid reputation by their censure, nor bestow a lasting character by their applause. In short, I found by my search, that such only can confer real fame upon others, who have merit themselves to deserve it.

Adieu.

LETTER CX.

SOME PROJECTS FOR INTRODUCING ASIATIC EMPLOYMENTS INTO THE COURTS OF ENGLAND.

To the Same.

There are numberless employments in the courts of the eastern monarchs utterly unpractised and unknown in Europe. They have no such officers, for instance, as the emperor's ear-tickler, or tooth-picker; they have never introduced at the courts, the mandarine appointed to bear the royal tobacco-box, or the grave director of the imperial

exercitations in the seraglio. Yet I am surprised that the English have imitated us in none of these particulars, as they are generally pleased with every thing that comes from China, and excessively fond of creating new and useless employments. They have filled their houses with our furniture, their public gardens with our fire-works, and their very ponds with our fish. Our courtiers, my friend, are the fish and the furniture they should have imported; our courtiers would fill up the necessary ceremonies of a court better than those of Europe; would be contented with receiving large salaries for doing little; whereas some of this country are at present discontented, though they receive large salaries for doing nothing.

I lately, therefore, had thoughts of publishing a proposal here, for the admission of some new eastern offices and titles into their court-register. As I consider myself in the light of a cosmopolite, I find as much satisfaction in scheming for the countries in which I happen to reside, as for that in which I was born.

The finest apartments in the palace of Pegu are frequently infested with rats. These the religion of the country strictly forbids the people to kill. In such circumstances, therefore, they are obliged to have recourse to some great man of the court, who is willing to free the royal apartments even at the hazard of his salvation. After a weak monarch's reign, the quantity of court vermin in every corner of the palace is surprising; but a prudent king, and a vigilant officer, soon drive them from their sanctuaries behind the mats and tapestry, and effectually free the court. Such an officer in England would, in my opinion, be serviceable at this juncture; for if, as I am told, the palace be old, much vermin

(1) ["In slight of hand, in posture-making, rope-dancing, riding, and athletic exercises, the Chinese are infinitely inferior to Europeans; but in the variety of their fire-works, they, perhaps, may carry the palm against the whole world."-Barrow.]

INTRODUCTION OF EASTERN OFFICES AND TITLES. 427

must undoubtedly have taken refuge behind the wainscot and hanging. A minister should therefore be invested with the title and dignities of court-vermin-killer: he should have full power either to banish, take, poison, or destroy them, with enchantments, traps, ferrets, or ratsbane. He might be permitted to brandish his besom without remorse, and brush down every part of the furniture, without sparing a single cobweb, however sacred by long prescription. I communicated this proposal some days ago in a company of the first distinction, and enjoying the most honourable offices of the state. Among the number were the inspector of Great Britain, Mr. Henriquez, the director of the ministry, Ben. Victor the treasurer, (2) John Lockman the secretary, and the conductor of the Imperial magazine.(9) They all acquiesced in the utility of my proposal, but were apprehensive it might meet with some obstruction from court upholsterers and chamber-maids, who would object to it from the demolition of the furniture, and the dangerous use of ferrets and ratsbane.

My next proposal is rather more general than the former, and might probably meet with less opposition. Though no people in the world flatter each other more than the English, I know none who understand the art less, and flatter with such little refinement. Their panegyric, like a Tartar feast, is indeed served up with profusion, but their cookery is insupportable. A client here shall dress up a fricassee for his patron, that shall offend an ordinary nose before it enters (1) [A noted projector of the day. See vol. i. p. 246.] (2) [Victor was at this time treasurer of Drury-lane theatre. He published, in 1761, a History of the Theatres of London and Dublin.]

(3) [Lockman, against whom Goldsmith had cause of offence, among other things for inserting some of his papers without acknowledgment in the magazine in question, was a writer of very inferior merit; several of whose verses may be found with his name, in the newspapers of the day. He had also been secretary to the project for establishing a Herring Fishery, which failed.]