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sleep into 31,588 houses. For its read- alarming quantity of other printed mating, Paris has, first, unimpeded access ter, furnished by numberless authors, to public libraries, containing in all over and set before them by 1,034 publishers 2,400,000 volumes; secondly, access on and booksellers. Paris worships the easy conditions to other libraries, such same God in forty-two Catholic, five as those of the universities, the schools, Protestant, and two Jewish places of and of certain corporations; thirdly, an devotion. abundant periodical literature, such as To close all, 34,000 Parisians die the twelve daily general newspapers, yearly, of whom, according to M. Tornumberless literary and scientific, gen- chio, more than 400 (another authority eral, and special periodicals, and an
says 483) are suicides.
EFFORTS TOWARD A MUSEUM OF FOOLS.
were three brothers, born into the At the time I speak of, there appeared world upon the same day of the week, in this scene of strifo what should have the same day of the month, and in the been an angel of peace, but so far was same year of our Lord-so that the this from being the case, that the fires reader may perceive there was but small of discord blazed more fiercely than difference in their ages; but not so was This was no other than a fair it with their lives, for, having agreed in cousin, who had seen some eighteen that single particular, and so made their summers, or, to speak more correctly, ontrance upon the stage at the same eighteen summers had seen her. She hour, they quickly sought to make was now, by the death of her parents, amends for such an unseemly unanimity, become the ward of tho young men's by the most exemplary dissonance. father-an office from whose burdens Find out what suited one, and you learn they would gladly have relieved him, 80 ed, at the same time, what did not suit that each could have attained to the either of the others. It was so, even coveted guardianship. This, however, with their diet, so that the doctors them- being plainly impossible, the strife, of selves, and the still more sagacious which the young damsel was the occanurses, were for a long time nonplussed sion, exceeded anything that had preby this strange idiosyncrasy. T'hey at ceded it; they, indeed, who were aware times seemed to regret even that single of her mental graces and rare personal instance of agreement already alluded comeliness, well-nigh excusing, in this to-it being not unfrequently a subject instance, the bickerings of the disputaof debate as to who was the oldest, and tious claimants. how much—the contention waxing all But, as I have said, the old man's the hotter, as might be supposed, from patience was now at last quite exhaustthe extremely slight ground on which it ed; and, in casting about for a remedy rested.
against these everlasting clapper-clawAnd this repellancy, which showed ings, wbich so jarred upon bis own more itself thus early in the lives of these dis- tuneful nature, he at length adopted an putants, by no means subsided as they expedient, suggested to him by a story advanced in years. It rather increased; he had read in his boyhood. Summoning and the mimic squabblings of the nurse- the offenders before him, he addressed ry only terminated to make room for the them as follows: more determined quarrels, and the more • My Sons—The words I am about serious disturbances of puberty and to utter require little preface. The manbood. The home where they con- peace of this household has been long tinued to reside was thus rendered an disturbed by your contentions. This, almost constant scene of uproar and your last quarrel, as it is more serious confusion, when, as they were about than any that have preceded it, so it entering their twenty-fifth year, a cir- seems likely to be of longer continuance, cumstanco occurred which caused the and to end in greater mischief. Here old man, their father, to succumb out- upon the table are three bags of gold, right-be having, sooth to say, been of equal value, and sufficient for a year's
sustenance in your travels. Take each closed shutters, he discovered a man
Be absent a twelve-month, and moving about to and fro—now slowly, be of you who shall return at the end of now with a quicker motion, and altothat time, having found the greatest gether in a somewhat mysterious and fool, shall be entitled to the fair hand fantastic manner. He noticed, too, that you each so earnestly covet.”
ever and anon the strange individual Not a little loth to be so long separated approached a large cage which stood from the fond object of their desire, they upon the floor, and he imagined he received this announcement with great could, from time to time, distinguish chagrin-each of them, however, con- the fluttering of wings against its wires. soling himself with the thought, that he At length, his curiosity getting the betonly would prove the successful claim. ter of his prudence, he was, contrary ant, and thus, in one instance, at least, to his purpose, obtruded rather suddenwin an uncontested supremacy over his ly into the presence of the singular perdiscomfited brothers.
son whose movements he had been tbus ". There are plenty of fools to pick watching. Somewhat surprised, but not from," said Romulus, “and it shall go apparently offended by the disturbance, hard but I will find the biggest." the solitary tenant accosted the in
“Among so many, the more difficult truder in friendly terms—a show of foodthe choice," said Remus; “ but I doubt humor instantly welcomed by Romulus, not to hunt him out."
since the peculiar countenance and the “And Flotilda's prayers assist me, general demeauor of the man he bad interwhile I disappoint you both,” said Afri- rupted greatly strengthened an already canus.
inchoate presentiment, that the speci. Having thus signified their reluctant men he was in search of stood before assent to a decision from which they him. Excusing himself for having thus well understood there was no appeal, inadvertently become a spy upon his and taken each for himself the generous movements, Romulus came at once to outfit provided for them, they straight- the point which was now uppermost in way departed, in opposite directions, his mind, and inquired the object of the upon their anxious and curious errand. cage, which, resting upon the floor a And first for Romulus. He found, as few feet from the spot where they were he bad predicted, plenty of fools, but now standing, showed no want of ten. the difficulty of making a selection was ants, whatever might be said of the far greater than he had anticipated. He building which contained it. had readily gathered some very choice • The cage, eh? You are a close obspecimens, and made a note of them; server, I seo, and for a young man that but his naturally fastidious temper, now is well. This cage, as you perceive, is sharpened by the earnestness of his not empty. It is now nearly full of hopes to a severer scrutiny than ever, bats. They have been put there by my left him still dissatisfied. At length, agency-I might say by my own bands. however, bis doubts were dispelled, and To you, the imprisonment, doubtless, it happened in this wise : Wearied and seems cruel. But it is not so; or if foot-sore by his wanderings, he seated cruel for this handful, it is not so for himself, toward the close of a sultry the race-I mean the race of bats. It day, upon the shady side of a large and is for them I am working. To improve apparently untenanted building, which their condition—to elevate them in the stood in the outskirts of the town, still scale of humanity, I was about to saya mile or so distant, where he proposed I mean of the bruto creation, I spend to pass the night. Hardly, however, my days. But it is growing late. I had he uncovered his head, that the live in the town yonder. Come and see refreshing evening air might have free me to-morrow, and I will unfold to you access to his temples, and composed my plan more fully." himself in a half recumbent position Thus saying, he withdrew further upon the cool door-step, than he be- into the building, signifying by his mancame conscious that the building was ner that he wished to be no longer innot as empty as he had at first sup- terruptod; and Romulus, more than ever posed. To satisfy his curiosity, he assured that he had at last stumbled gently pushed against the door, already upon the object of his search, readily ajar, and, by the dim light which found accepted the invitation thus hastily esentrance through the chinks of the tended. At an early hour on the fol
lowing day, he failed not to keep bis be found only in the country, it was his appointment, and once more found him- theory that they chiefly abounded in self in the presence of the acquaintance cities. Accordingly, having selected he had formed in so unexpected a man- one of the largest of these, be directed
his steps thither. And, as he had fore“Punctual, I see. That is well. No. seen, there was no scarcity of the article thing in a young man like punctuality. he was in quest of, but his perplexity Please be seated. You find me with arose from its abundance. He met with my implements about me. So you will the fool religious, who, making a mock always find me. So I like to be found. of sects in whose ritual forms and cereIt is the business of my life, and it is monies predominated, yet trusted to the pleasure of my life. These poor forms bimself for salvation ; with the bats! But, perhaps, you are not ac- fool political, who thought to effect a quainted with their nature, or have not moral and social revolution by his preconsidered the deprivation under which cious dogmas; with the fool mercantile, they labor. I will explain it. Therewho, when ninety-nine gallant barques you see, is a bat, in what I call his foundered and were lost, made sure that natural state. Come with me. I let his would be the hundredth that should bim loose. The poor fellow, you see escape. And, passing from these, whom what sad work he makes of Aying. be termed the professional or classified There, he has dashed himself against fools, he found, outside of their ranks, yonder wall. Now, what is wanting is, what he designated as the individual these bats should be made to endure fools—the fool pretender, who, glorying the sunlight, and my grand project is to in a chapecter he had worn so long as give them sunlight-sunlight to the bats. to imagine it belonged to him, supposed What is light for but to see by? and others were equally deceived with bimwhat are eyes for but to see with? You self; with the self-sufficient fool, who, see these delicate needles, this even with his he only in the sand, forgot thread, these salves, these ointments. that his nakedness was exposed; the These explain my grand design. These moneyed fool who, gathering only of that eyelids must be kept open, and when kind of riches which take to themselves these poor bats are made equal to en- wings and iy away, was often left with. dure the broad light of noon-day, in- out riches of any sort; the fool gluttonstead of groping miserably in the dull
the fool licentious; and so on to the twilight, my final triumph will be achiev. end of the chapter. ed, and I shall be hailed as their bene- In short, in such variety and abundfactor-the deliverer of an entire race. ance did the tribe present themselves, It is true, some few cages of them have that he began to doubt whether he was perished in the course of my undertak- not himself the greatest fool of all, for ing, but what signifies? They will come attempting to determino, among so many to it at last. A wonderful discovery, to competitors, which should be allowed be sure, but this is the glorious nine- the precedence. But be remembered teenth century. Haven't
we the mag- tho prize he had left behind, and, while netic telegraph ? Haven't we steam? he had not thus far “ made a note of” a And why not this?”
single specimen, he redoubled his exEncouraged by the close attention of ertions, ever holding to the belief, that his visitor, who drank in his words like as nature had formed one such inestinectar, the speaker continued, in an mable jewel as Flotilda, to outshine all over rising strain of eloquence, to set others, so, being ever equal in all her forth the glorious scheme.
departments, she must have somewhere “Light dawns upon the benighted created one such incomparable fool as bats; the day of their deliverance draws should outtop every other. And such nigh !" passionately exclaimed the
oper- a fool-a fool whose folly was as unator.
fathomable as her loveliness was inef. “ Flotilda is mine; the day of our fable-a fool whose lack of wisdom betrothal is at band !" mentally exclaim- could be measured by her bounteous ed Romulus.
endowments, he felt assured he had not Turn we now to Remus. Unlike Ro- yet found. mulus, who contended that fools were The standard bis imagination thus to be met with everywhere, and unlike furnished, was evidently a very lofty Africanus, who maintained they were to one, and of difficult attaioment, so that the time allotted for his search had life, or half that sum entitles you to be nearly expired, leaving him as far from enrolled among its honorary members. the object of his pursuit as ever. But That,” continued he, pointing to the bis perseverance was at last to find its paper, now in the hands of Remus, reward. The eleventh month was rap- is the column, should you choose the idly approaching its close, when, upon former; and this, should you prefer the one of its last days, he found himself latter." almost the sole occupant of the room in Such was the exultant joy that poured his hotel, where he often stationed him- like a tide into the heart of Remus, durself, as being a spot seemingly well ing the utterance of these remarks, that, suited to bis purpose. As he sat there, upon a slight lull in their delivery, he rather uneasily revolving in his mind bis was, for the moment, inclined to inrapidly diminishing chances of success, scribe his name not only in one column, he was approached by a gentleman but in both. He, however, asked time whom he felt sure he had often met to reflect a little upon a matter of such before, but to whom he was an entire importance, and, pleading a pressing stranger. His step was gentle, and engagement, that he might withdraw, to suggestive of slippers. His manner give loose to the immoderate joy which was dove-like. His face, swelling and now possessed him, he bid the stranger rounded with benignity, seemed to have adieu, whose shining countenance, to been lately washed in the milk of human his mind, now beamed with a more kindness. It was radiant with, and overflowing benevolence than ever. fairly radiated, benevolence. As he now Having thus set forth the adventures approached the spot where, as I have of these two, who claimed to be the said, Remus was sitting, he gracefully elder brothers, let us now devote our presented a paper wbich he had just attention to those of Africanus, the gracefully unfolded, and, in dulcet tones, younger. As has been already intiwith a voice that seemed always to have mated, he had always been driven, in fed upon the oil of olives, he proceeded the arguments on the subject, beto explain his errand.
tween himself and his brothers, to • Excuse me, sir, but, finding you maintain that fools chiefly aboundhere, and supposing you to be a ed in the country; and now, that he traveler, and possibly not altogether found himself called upon to act in ignorant of the subject I desire to the matter, to preserve an appearance introduce to your notice, I make bold of consistency, he was in some sort to address you.
You have probably compelled, as others have been beforo heard of the Mammoth Cave of Ken- him, to square his conduct accordingly ; tucky. Possibly you have taken it in though, if the truth must be told, it was the course of your travels. If so, you against his real inclination—his secret are aware, doubtless, that a river pur- opinion being the opposite of that he sues there its subterranean course, in had been forced to advocate. And, as, whose dark waters are found sightless, intent upon his errand, he traveled over or, as some contend, eyeless fish. A the wide circuit his choice bad rendered • ladies' relief society' is about to be necessary, he constantly found new reaorganized for their benefit. As the son to regret his folly. He found fools, authorized agent of that society, it be- it is true, and plenty of them; but there comes my privilege to solicit such aid were few or none he could classify among as may be found necessary to put this the sublime or transcendent fools. There most important and glorious enterprise was no scarcity of specimens, but they upon a safe and permanent foundation. all lacked that full, perfect development I need hardly allude to the importance - those decided marks, always so welof the undertaking, nor hint at the come to the collector of a cabinet. magnificent results it may be ex- He had, however, escaped one disadpected to produce ; nor need I speak vantage which his brothers had so of the advantages of association, so es- early and so constantly encountered in sential to the successful accomplish- their travels—the perplexity of choice. ment of these great enterprises. Allow He was not harassed by the tbought me to hand, for your inspection, a copy that he had left the best locality behind of our constitution and by-laws. As him. He remembered, too, how, in you will perceive, a subscription of fifty their former controversies, he had at dollars constitutes you a director for heart leaned very strongly to the doc
trine advocated by Romulus—that fools, erwise unintermitted labor with the both great and small, were to be found spade. everywhere; and, thus strengthened in Having extended his observations his purpose, he held bravely on his way. thus far, Africanus at once became cuAnd whether or not it was owing to any rious to know more of the operation special efficacy in Flotilda's prayers, he going on before him; and great was had invoked at starting, doth not ap- his surprise to learn, in reply to his pear; but certain it is that, after many inquiries, that the substance to which weary wanderings, some propitious in- his attention had been drawn, was no fluence directed his steps to a fortunate other than that it resembled. issue. Traveling for tho most part on
" Them's molasses, as sure's yer foot, he hai at length reached a thinly- born,” said the man, with emphasis, as settled district, where the scattered his visitor seemed slow to receive the farm-houses were separated from each truth thus communicated. “Them's other at a more unsocial distance than molasses; and if yer want to know what ever. Foot-sore, and oppressed by the I'm a puttin' 'em round this tree for, I heat of the day, which now approached can soon tell ye. This 'ere is an appleits meridian, he chose a favorable spot tree, and a almighty thrifty tree at that, by the wayside, beneath a spreading as yer can see for yerself; bât prehape tree, whose thick folinge excluded the the apples as comes from it arn't sour, noontide rays, and, making use of his which, if I had one by me, yer might knapsack as a pillow, he threw him- see for yerself, too. Now, I sort o' run self lengthwise upon the inviting of an idee, that by a puttin' these 'ero sward.
molasses round it, mebbe't might have While he thus occupied this recum- sweet apples on't, and that's the whole bent position, and while he strove, as on't." was his wont, to revive his sinking With a great effort, and only partial spirits by recalling to mind the bright success, repressing his mirth, Africanus image he had left behind, his attention inquired of the man if he did not think was awakened by certain sounds that grafting would be a better remedy. seemed to proceed from a field, which “ Not a bit on't,” he replied. * None he now discovered, not far in advance oyer top works for me. "I'm for going of the spot where he had been resting. to the root of the matter. I believe Refreshed somewhat in body and mind that's Scriptur', and if 'tain't Scriptur', , by the operation above described, he it stands to reason and common sense, now rose to renew his journey, and, and that's what I go in for.” coming up in a few moments to the It is unnecessary to add, that here the field, ho perceived, on the other side of journeyings of Africanus were brought the wall, a man engaged in digging to a termination. Hitherto, and more about a tree, which stood a short dis- especially during the latter portion of tance from the road. Careful to avail his travels, he had been tormented by himself of whatever might chance to ever increasing doubts as to the result favor his enterprise, and thinking, too, of his labors; and as, from time to time, that the farm-house could not be far the chances for his success seemed to distant, where the demands of his appe- diminish, so did the absent object of his tite might be satisfied, he leaped over desire present itself to his thoughts with the wall, and approached the individual ever increasing attractions; and, now whom he had found thus engaged. Hav- that his doubt was suddenly exchanged ing, with little loss of time, settled the for certainty itself, only transporting point as to the necessary refreshment joy took possession of his heart. He, for the body, he began to look about therefore, proceeded at once to retrace him more attentively. In addition to his steps, that he might, without loss of the spade, which the man was industri- time, bring himself again into the anously plying, he seemed to have brought gelio presence, there to make known with bim a large vessel, which now stood his triumph, and, for his hitherto faintthere, filled with some substance bear. ing hopes, substitute a glad and perfect ing a strong resemblance to molasses, fruition. or, if we follow Webster's orthography, And now the allotted twelve-month melasses-the application of which sub- drew near to its close. The decisive stance to the newly turned up soil day-loiterer as it seemed to the impaoccasionally interrupted the man's oth- tient and sanguine rivals—at length is