CHAPTER XLI.

Hath he not always treasures, always friends,

-

The good great man? Three treasures, Love, and Light,
And calm Thoughts, regular as infants' breath;-
And three firm friends, more sure than day and night, —
Himself, his Maker, and the angel Death.

COLERIDGE.

SEVEN Conclusions from a week of sad evenings:

Sunday. About the hardships of life a man cannot murmur, and it not be against God.

Monday. This breath of mine is God's good. giving; and it is health and life in me, as I draw it but in breathing it out again, so often I make it into sighs against the Giver of it! I misuse God's air so! Such a traitor I am this way!

Tuesday. - Misery, misery, O my misery! So slowly time goes with it! To-day has been with me like years, like a thousand years: and to-morrow will pass the same way as to-day; and so will the day after.

And it is well, is it not? For these long days are making my life the longer, almost ages the longer. But so wretched they are! Yet they are not too wretched to pray in! O the feelings I have had the last few days! This weary, weary season! Nay; but it is this

precious, precious time! Because of long days it is not for a mortal to complain, and of sorrowful ones a Christian will not.

Wednesday.

These long, long days! Ah, yes! There may well be to me some feeling of length in them; for out of their hours, myself, I am growing to be immortal, as I trust.

Thursday. This trouble of mine is God's loving chastisement. Do I believe this? Yes, I do. Then why am I so wretched? O, there is many a man, an angel now, that would take flesh again eagerly, for the sake of carrying this cross of mine. But what troubles me most is, not the weight of the cross, but what men may think of me for having it to carry. But they are not all my witnesses, nor indeed the chief of them for there are others than they about me, a great cloud of them, though known of only in spirit. Courage, then! I have angels looking on; and I have my Father watching me and it is mine to walk in life abreast with martyrs, for some few steps, at least.

Friday. O, how dreary, and friendless, and helpless, and useless my life is! It is as though I were out in a wilderness; so lonely, and so sad I am! And indeed it is so; and there comes the tempter to me. And one time he will have me weep, because I have not a friend to understand But I keep my tears for my sins. And

me.

another time he tries to embitter me, and make me say that vanity of vanities, life is vanity. But I answer him, that goodness is not vanity, nor is dying for goodness a vanity; and that I long for the one, and am ready for the other. Nay, thou tempter! It is by thy coming to me that I know myself. Yes, like Jesus, I too am a soul, I am a spirit for ever. But I have thee to resist, Devil. Thou art one thing to one man, and another to another; and to wicked and unbelieving souls, hereafter, thou wilt be strange things, unknown of yet. But to me, just this day, thou art poverty. But I will not be daunted by thee so. I can overcome thee, and I will. For I know of a way, through having nothing to possess all things. Courage, my soul! Be patient and full of faith. Resist the adversary as poverty, and thou wilt overcome him for this life and for ever. For in a godly way, overcoming him in one shape, thou art conquering him in every other form, as wine, as a harlot, as pride, as a mob, as a tyrant, and as despair.

Saturday. I am overcoming the world itself, oy outgrowing the love of it. As a poor man, if I keep free in spirit, and cheerful, then I am getting gold, and silver, and dignities, and thrones beneath my feet; and I am growing up to the level of principalities and powers in heaven.

WATER, uncle! a glass of water! Thank you.

MARHAM.

Are you very much worse, Oliver ?

AUBIN.

Only for a minute or two; not for more, perhaps. O pain, pain, pain! O the people I think of now! What was the sacrament of blood? Was it not when persons mingled their blood in one cup, and then drank of it, all of them? Always, till this moment, it has seemed to me a fantastical proceeding; but it does not now; for I think I feel now what the first users of it meant, though I do not know. O, pain is a

but believe.

No, uncle,

But do not

strange brotherhood among men ! no! you cannot do any thing for me. leave me. O, it is as though flash after flash of the lightning of God were going through me! Dreadful, dreadful, very dreadful! And it is awful, and it is sublime! For the agonies, as they go, say, "Not in vain have we been through you; not in vain.” And the spirit within cannot It is as though there were a great mystery growing up between me and God, for explanation some time. Just now, my feeling of endurance is very strange; it is so strange that I would not but know it, very dreadful as the pain is. It is as though I am being afflicted because God cannot help it. You would think this must be wretched despair; but it is not. God cannot spare me. Do thy will, do thy divine will, do thy will upon me, O God! I know the Lord does pity God there is pity for me. to bear, is anxious for it, spirits. O, then I will! and triumphantly.

MARHAM.

God pity me! Yes,

me.

In the mind of Yes, God wishes me

he, the Father of I am strong to do it

Think of what Jesus Christ must have suffered on the cross.

AUBIN.

Yes, dear uncle, it is in the spirit of that cruci-fixion that I feel as I do. I know myself to be in