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EARLY BRITISH FRENCH FROM THE NURSERY. Ethel. "JE SUIS FASHAY DE VOUS DONNER TANT DE TROUBLE, PLANTAGENET !" Plantagenet. "O! NE LE MENTIONNEZ PAS!!"

MARK LEMON.

LAST Year, a Memorial, stating the circumstances in which the family of the late MR. MARK LEMON had been left by his unexpected death, and presenting the claims which it was thought that his Widow had upon the consideration of Her Majesty's Government, was laid before the PREMIER.

The signatures to that document it would afford us justifiable pride to reproduce here, but, in the absence of express authority for so doing, we merely mention that they comprise the names of a group of Noblemen and Gentlemen of the highest distinction in politics, art, poetry, and literature. With these names were associated those of fellow-workers with MARK LEMON.

The document was promptly and courteously acknowledged on the part of MR. GLADSTONE, who made some special inquiries on the subject. These were duly answered.

HER MAJESTY has been graciously pleased to approve the grant of an annual pension of £100 to MRS. MARK LEMON, who was last week, by MR. GLADSTONE's direction, apprised of the fact.

REASONS FOR GOING TO THE BOAT-RACE. BECAUSE it is right to encourage all athletic exercises which tend to produce manly vigour and calm selfcontrol.

Because it is right to take part in a scene in which all classes of society can meet and mingle on common ground. Because we wish to make ourselves better acquainted with the beauties of our glorious River Thames.

Because we are anxious to see whether the manners and habits of the lower orders are undergoing any improvement.

Because we are desirous to form some estimate, from personal observation, of the number of people present.

Because the village of Putney is dear to us, as having been the birthplace of the author of The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire.

Because we wish to compare the present style of rowing with what it was when we were at No Souls.

Because we take pleasure in watching the gradual progress of spring vegetation in the country.

Because we have a relation from the country staying with us who has never seen the Boat-Race.

Because it gives us the opportunity of meeting so many old college friends.

Because the girls want to go.

Because we want a holiday.

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ATHANASIUS AND WILLIAMS.

A DAILY paper announces that the ARCHBISHOP of CANTERBURY has directed the convocation of his province to meet on the 23rd of April, in order that the Lower House may discuss the subject of the Athanasian Creed. The 23rd is late. Would not the 1st of April have been much more eligible? Nemo saltat sobrius. Neither does any rational creature, except upon All Fools' Day, attempt seriously to discuss the Athanasian Creed until a very late stage of conversation after dinner. One thinks that the excellent ARCHBISHOP OF CANTERBURY could have found his Clergy something better to do than discussing the divinity of St. Athanasius on the birthday of the divine WILLIAMS.

NATIONAL SECURITY.

WHAT of Army Reorganisation? Nothing certain there is but taxation.

lamented friend. To the other signataries, whose influential names were most readily and cordially given, we would express our deep sense of the value of their assistance, and our certainty that the announcement of the grant must have given them the utmost satisfaction.

THE JURY-BOX OF THE FUTURE.

A TERRIBLE trial, according to a Note in the Pall Mall Gazette, awaits "twelve gentlemen of the county of Gloucester, whose names are, happily for the peace of mind of those concerned, at present unknown." It is a trial which will try the triers :

"Much sympathy has been expressed for the Tichborne jury, but their labours were as nothing when compared with the prospective duties of a jury that will be required to grasp the details involved in a statement and counterstatement of a grandfather, a father, a son, and a widow, with the particulars of a bankruptcy, of three or four Chancery suits, an appeal to the Lords Justices, and an appeal to the House of Lords to follow."

accountant and profound lawyer? How could any other jury than Who is sufficient for these things but a compound of a practised one composed of such compounds be empanelled, or, anyhow, sworn? Can any man be compelled to swear that he will"well and truly try." to do that which he knows himself incapable of even attempting? qualification will be necessary to render gentlemen eligible for jurors. If juries are to discharge duties such as those above instanced, a new They will have to be required to pass an examination, and then, unless by passing it they secure large salaries, what shall we do? The candidates for liability to serve on juries will be involuntary, and all plucked.

It appears proper that the kind act should be recorded in the columns of the journal which was conducted for so many years by MR. MARK LEMON, and which was the chief occupation and pride of his life. On the part of those among the Memorialists who are connected with that journal, and of all others who are engaged in its production, most humble and respectful thanks are tendered to HER MAJESTY for her gracious approval of the grant, and their warmest acknowledgments are made to MR. GLADSTONE for his compliance with the solicitation in favour of the family of their on whom we must call.

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OUR "CIVIL LIST" (AND MAY IT SOON BE ABOLISHED!)-Persons

BUT

¡PUNCH'S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

MILITARY

AST MONDAY, March 11.-
Debate in the Commons

were very unmindful of the comfort of others. These allegation
are unfounded, at least in the case of those who smoke good tobases,
"Divine tobacco, that from East to West
Cheers the tar's labour and the Turkman's rest."

on Druid CARDWELL'S as LORD BYRON observes. We, of course, agree with COWPER, the
Army Scheme. MR.HOLMS's if the baccy is bad, 'tis a
proposal to weaken our
forces by taking away

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"Pernicious weed, whose scent the fair annoys."

twenty thousand soldiers, But the wretch who sells and the slave who smokes bad tobacc was again discussed. LORD should be executed on the same gibbet. The pure fine article als ELCHO described the Mili-noun) that sends up a gracious incense, makes the smoker a better tia as ghastly - looking and a kinder man, and induces him to listen tolerantly even to the creatures, with feeble cackle of the unwise, or, if it be unlistenable to, aids him to nob frames and seedy uniforms. thoughts on other themes. Fumus gloria Mundi, and of every other MR. JACOB BRIGHT called day in the week. the Government "spendNothing but the gentling whiffs which he is taking at presen thrift." MR. VERNON writing could restrain Mr. Punch from now breaking out int HARCOURT was quite cer- language of the most frightful violence. Though such utteran tain that we should never would be perfectly just, he abstains from it. Yet he would like be invaded, and he knows denounce those by whose criminal negligence (or worse) in the everything. The Druid matter of the Albert and European Life Assurance Companies declared that neither the thousands of excellent and thrifty persons have been robbed of House nor the people all provision for their families, or have themselves been brought would ever agree to Com-wretchedness and ruin. A Bill for an inquiry into these things w pulsory Service. MR. read a Second Time, but unhappily it makes no provision for Pillory HENLEY was emphatic and Scourge. When the guilt, however, shall be apportioned, against a peace establish- shall be Mr. Punch's fierce pleasure to supply both. ment that cost fifteen mil- MR. SALT promoted a Bill for enabling a Bishop to license clerry lions per annum. The men to perform service in other buildings than churches. T Government then triumph- proposal is described as a blow at the Parochial System, ed over MR. HOLMS by MR. BERESFORD HOPE was very amusing about filibustering pars 234 to 63. MR. MUNTZ then made a proposal, which reminded Mr. coming into an incumbent's parish, and preaching sermons for th Punch of the gentleman who tried to sing "If I had a Thousand a conversion of Patagonian Washer-women. The ground-work of the Year," and, breaking down, was advised to try again at Five Bill, said MR. HARDY, is opposition to the regular minister, and hundred. He asked that only Ten Thousand men should be taken predicted innumerable local schisms. MR. HENLEY, on the ot And that," said the House, in Mr. Pecksniff's words hand, thought that the interests of the people ought to be studie about the loan of eighteen pence to Mr. Tigg," would be equally as well as those of the clergy. MR. BRUCE but half approved of th objectionable." Vote, 216 to 67, and Retreat of the Ten Thousand Bill, but the Second Reading was carried by 122 to 93 cutter-down. The Commons were resolute to-night, and when MR. LEA wished to take out of the Estimates £15,000 for Army Agents, he was beaten by two to one-87 to 43, and

away.

66

"The Druid heard-crowed, lowly, o'er the Lea." Tuesday.-The DUKE OF SOMERSET described our tremendous fortifications at Alderney as awfully expensive, and utterly useless. He asked for a Committee on the subject. LORD COWPER, quoting his own motto, replied, "Tuum est." His Lordship is a Gold Shell, if you know what that means, and if you don't you should ask. It means a distinction in the corps of Gentlemen-at-Arms.

66

Bill LORD SALISBURY remarked that in a country speaking the a Thursday. In a debate in the Lords on the Ecclesiastical Co language as our own (wall, Siree, we reckon not quite right away same) the experiment of Cheap Judges had been tried, and they h been found not to answer. There is no doubt that a good many the simple Archons" are great rascals, and it is certain that mo believes that a good deal of very excellent justice is done over th can buy some highly placed American judges. But Mr. Pu water, at a comparatively low figure. Still, he does not want see cheap law and free-and-easy judges here. He goes in f Majesty and Dignity, knowing "our flesh and blood."

Complaint in the Commons that it is difficult to get Scotch busiIn the Commons a lot of questions were asked, but they w ness attended to, and we need hardly add that an Irish Member instantly urged a similar wrong to Oireland. MR. GLADSTONE ad-mostly of the sort to which belonged the question the little boy: mitted the difficulties, but laid them at the door of the evil of too not put. "Why didn't you ask, my dear, how your Aunt JA much legislation. With some humour he begged to put in a word HOGG stated that he could do nothing to Leicester Square with headache was?" "Because I didn't want to know." COLONE on behalf of another country which had not been mentioned, namely, England. SIR WALTER tells, in his diary, a story of a Scotch an Act of Parliament. Then, Colonel, why in the name of all the minister, who prayed for his parishes, the Greater and Lesser is-inflammable (said Mr. Pickwick) don't you get an Act of Par Cumbrays, "two miserable islets off the Scotch coast," and added ment, and turn that dismal, squalid waste into a charming petition that Providence "would not forget the adjacent islands of nook which the French call a place?

We then had discussion on the Ballot Bill, in Committee, and th details of the arrangements for elections were very assiduously d kinds of dodges our admirable representatives showed themselves cussed, and it was pleasing to see how thoroughly well up to Doubtless, unlike the Jupiter of SHELLEY, they are those who har

Great Britain and Ireland." MR. GLADSTONE said he should not be
shocked at the idea of any considerable changes in the machinery of
the House. There was more discussion, but at last the torch was
handed to MR. MACFIE. We have no idea how this gentleman's
name is pronounced, but the moral was the same either way."suffered, not done, wrong."
Members either sang, individually,

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"Stop and listen to MR. MACFEE,
No, not we; no, not we."

And then there was a Count Out, at 8:15.

Wednesday.-MR. MACLAGAN, which his name is PETER, and he is a wonderful man, for he was born in Demerara, and he knows all about Hypothec, which is rarer still, moved the Second Reading of an excellent Bill. It is the result of the deliberations of a Committee on the best means of preventing Fires. MR. MACLAGAN spoke capitally, and gave us heaps of information. It is proposed that the Coroners shall conduct inquiries in cases of fire. The number of houses fired for the sake of the insurance-money is remarkable, and thieves do a good deal in the same way in order to conceal thefts. Malice, also, is an active incendiary. The Bill was read a Second Time, but

Mr. Punch was shocked to hear a Member-he will not name him -say that smokers caused many fires, and also that they, as a class,

The Commons were resolute agains letting election expenses be paid out of the public money, and the plan was rejected by 362 to 54. Speaking of the working-m who, it was alleged, was kept out of the House by the prese system, MR. DISRAELI said:

"Let a working-man be a man who, by his character and his talents, de served the regard of his countrymen, and he would as certainly be returned as any gentleman of great social influence and large estate. Therefore th proposed change, founded on the case of the working-man, was one of the flimsy pretexts which vanished in the heat of Parliamentary discussion."

Friday.-What advantages the children of the poor have over those of the children of the rich! While the latter go out t crowded and unhealthy parties, or are taken to hot theatres to dull plays, the former are invited to Night Schools, where they receive, in properly-ventilated buildings, pleasant and improving instruction. That they are glad to accept the invitation is prore by LORD RIPON's statement this evening that in 1870 the number presenting themselves for examination was 83,512.

The Lords talked of Steam Coal, and the DUKE OF SOMERSE stated that when he was in office the Northern coal-owners came him and urged the use of their coal instead of Welsh, which is f

the best, and "he told them that they ought to be ashamed of them- a resolution was proposed and carried authorising the Chairman of selves." We have no doubt that His Grace did, and in the plainest the meeting "publicly to burn the Bill in its presence." And soand most wholesome language. "The Chairman then fixed the printed copy of the Bill to the end of a stick, and setting it alight, held it aloft until it was consumed, amid loud cheering and waving of hats."

In the Commons it was asked whether Statutory Declarations could be placed under certain restrictions. Everybody has been indignant with a fellow called ALEXANDER CHAFFERS, an attorney, who made a declaration charging a lady with immorality, and who, being brought before a Magistrate, defended himself by asking the poor lady a long string of most offensive and indecent questions. SIR JOHN COLERIDGE, however, said that the Declaration system was very useful, and must not be altered because it had been abused by one Scoundrel." The gentlemen of the Parliament vigorously applauded the epithet thus affixed to CHAFFERS.

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MR. DODSON proposed a revolutionary and excellent plan for getting rid of the private business of the House, and we then had the first great personal row of the Session. It arose out of an implication that by reason of MR. BAXTER being in the Government, a fine inflicted on a firm with which his relatives are connected, in reference to a contract for Navy Duck (not birds) had been remitted. It was shown that the fine had been paid, and so the whole implied imputation fell to the ground, and was trampled out. Which was well, and it would have been better had the mare's nest never been discovered.

Touching the Washington Treaty, the PREMIER stated that the formal dispatches having arrived, the question was to be considered in Cabinet Council next day. It was hoped that the result would be a Minute embodying in diplomatic language the idea set forth by Mr. Punch's Cartoon in his present admirable number.

Gentlemen of the Pavement and Reformers' Tree will next perhaps
From burning the Parks Bill in substance, MR. ODGER and the
proceed to burning the People's WILLIAM in effigy-Bill after Bill,
as some of them perhaps may say. Thereby they will do about the
best thing they can to prolong MR. GLADSTONE's lease of power.
In the meanwhile let us hope that the Ministerial Parks Bill will
prove to have been really worth MR. ODGER's burning.

FIENDS OF THE FIRESIDE.

THE London Correspondent of a provincial journal mentions that London. But I think that the belief in the spiritual nature of the manifes"What is called spiritualism is exciting more and more attention in tations is decreasing in proportion as the belief in the reality of the manifestations themselves increases."

But if the

Yes, Sir, your Sadducees refer them to "unconscious cerebration," and muscular action," as if cerebration, conscious or unconscious, could play a tune on an accordion, even through the action of muscles not connected with fingers touching keys. Sadducees are out in one way as to these phenomena, the Spiritualists are abroad in another. In GLANVIL's story of the Damon of Tedworth, you know, amongst the "manifestations" which occurred in MR. MOMPESSON's house we are told that "in sight of the Company the chairs walked about of themselves," just as they do now, at Spiritualist séances. Could this have been the work of cerebration or muscular action, voluntary or involuntary-apart from trick and from mediums such as the medium of an invisible wire. At the HAT MR. ODGER will not same time, I doubt if tricks of this kind are played by the spirits of be created a County Court our defunct relations. They seem to me to have another origin, Judge is probable for ano- which is clearly elucidated by mythology and etymology, hand in ther reason than because hand. Your KEIGHTLEY, speaking of the Lares, says that they he is not qualified for the were regarded as the souls of deceased ancestors, but adds, that appointment. If MR.ODGER "The statues of the Lares were usually placed at the hearth." were promoted from his You recollect MILTON's account of the "drudging goblin," how, stall to a seat considerably after having done his cream-bowl's worth of farm-work

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"That ten day-labourers could not end;
Then lies him down the lubber fiend,

And, stretched out all the chimney's length,
Basks at the fire his hairy strength."

"The Bill was at once unconstitutional and contemptible, and its introduction was a disgrace to a Government calling itself Liberal. (Cheers.). The fact was that the Government felt that they were tottering to their fall(cries of" The sooner they do so the better!")-and they hoped to get a longer P.S. In MR. HOME's presence Something is accustomed to play term of power by pandering to the Conservative party. (Cheers.) He de- Home, Sweet Home. Some think it is Old Nick. I should rather nounced MESSES. STANSFELD, FORSTER, and AYRTON, as a trio of renegade say it is Old Joe. (Subaudi MILLER.)

Thus both Classical and later antiquity combine in asserting the special use of, he would existence of dæmons or goblins whose haunt was especially the cease to render the Cabinet domestic hearth. It is natural, assuming the supernatural, to supof our PREMIER the service pose that they would be disposed, on occasion, to actuate the firewhich he has begun really irons, and, from making the shovel, poker, and tongs, dance and doing it. Another demon- spin, go on to cause chairs and tables to toddle and walk about the stration against the Parks room. Now consider the relation of the hearth to the hob, and, conBill was held on Sunday sequently, that of the hob to the goblins; there you get at once to last week, in Hyde Park, the good old English word "hobgoblin," which is a noun-substanunder MR. ODGER's presi- tive, the name of a thing which exists, mark you that! Sir, I beg, dency, when MR. ODGER then, to contend that the "manifestations" of spiritualism are really made a speech, wherein, the pranks of peculiar spirits out of the body if not in it. If out, then according to report, he said, denouncing the above-named proposal I say spirits are hobgoblins; if in, why then, Mr. Punch, spirits of legislation:of another denomination. In short, Sir, I believe that the spirits of latter order you will not class yours truly, Spiritualism are either Hobgoblins or Humbugs. Among those of the WIERUS, Junior.

Radicals, who had betrayed the working classes, by whose means they had climbed into power. (Cheers.) The whole conduct of the Government to the working classes showed that working men must now form a party of their own, and preserve their own interests regardless of what party are in power. (Cheers.) They must form a labour party, and throw overboard once and for all the sham Radicals and sham Liberal Government by whom they had been so infamously betrayed."

BETTING BOOK-WORMS.

Correspondent" of a morning paper truly observes, that there are DISCOURSING of the imminent University Boat Race, the "Special "tens of thousands who are willing to bet and speculate upon the The unqualified abuse which MR. ODGER, cheered by his followers, chances of either crew, and gravely to descant upon their merits and now heaps on the politicians whom he and they were only the other shortcomings, without having ever set eyes on either boat, or being day extolling to the skies, can fail to strengthen the present Govern- able to distinguish the one from the other if they did see them." ment very much only through some doubt which may possibly be He subsequently mentions that, on the first appearance of the Camentertained whether the Parks Bill will, in practice, really effect bridge crew on the Thames, "No. 7-RANDOLPH-Was eger and the abatement of those nuisances, Sunday intimidation meetings, absent." One would like to know what any one of those bettingin Hyde Park. If the QUEEN's loyal subjects are only assured of men, whose sole business is betting and who, alike prepared to bet that, the language above-quoted, as from the mouth of MR. ODGER, on a boat's-crew or a race-horse, understand, and except for betting will very much tend to renew, or to increase, their confidence in purposes care, nothing about either, made, if he read, in the foreHer Majesty's Ministers; who are further indebted to MR. ODGER going connection, (and he may possibly have read a sporting notice), and his rabblement for a very particular demonstration to their of the word æger. He probably took it for eager, without taking it advantage. After some other speakers had followed MR. ODGER, for a misprint.

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"LET no man be called happy ere his death."

So ran the wisdom of the antique world.
How shall we rate him who draws dying breath
On work unfinished, high hopes backward hurled?
Such the first thought of most a thought that give
To one whose course has closed on weary days,
Where Pisa scarcely can be said to live,

And sleepy-seeming Arno seaward strays.
But not more shallow they that laugh to scorn

The thought that this slow stream to flood could leap,
That they that wasted deem this life outworn-
Not reckoning what men sow but what they reap.

Enough, that no Italian can doom

A life as poorly lived, or lived in vain,
Than which none ever better earned a tomb
Within the Holy Field by Pisa's fane.

The greater still his right to such a grave,
That Death of honour owes him large arrear,
To whom Life, taking much, so little gave

In payment from the land he held most dear,

The Campo Santo, the ancient and famous burial-place of Pisa, filled with earth from Jerusalem, and decorated by the greatest painters and sculptors of the fourteenth and fifteenth centuries.

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