His reasons could not well be stronger; So Death the poor delinquent spared,

And left to live a little longer.

Yet calling up a serious look,

His hour-glass trembled while he spoke:
"Neighbour," he said, "farewell! no more
Shall Death disturb your mirthful hour;
And further, to avoid all blame
Of cruelty upon my name,

To give you time for preparation,

And fit you for your future station,
Three several warnings you shall have,
Before you're summoned to the grave.
Willing for once I'll quit my prey,

And grant a kind reprieve,
In hopes you'll have no more to say,
But, when I call again this way,

Well pleased the world will leave."
To these conditions both consented,
And parted perfectly contented.

What next the hero of our tale befell,
How long he lived, how wise, how well,
How roundly he pursued his course,
And smoked his pipe, and stroked his horse,
The willing muse shall tell:

He chaffered, then he bought and sold,
Nor once perceived his growing old,
Nor thought of Death as near.

His friends not false, his wife no shrew,

Many his gains, his children few,

He passed his hours in peace.

But while he viewed his wealth increase,
While thus along life's dusty road,
The beaten track content he trod,

Old Time, whose haste no mortal spares,
Uncalled, unheeded, unawares,

Brought on his eightieth year.

And now, one night, in musing mood,
As all alone he sate,

The unwelcome messenger of Fate
Once more before him stood.

Half-killed with anger and surprise,
"So soon returned!" old Dodson cries.
"So soon, d'ye call it?" Death replies;
"Surely, my friend, you're but in jest!
Since I was here before

'Tis six-and-thirty years at least,

And you are now fourscore."

"So much the worse," the clown rejoined;

"To spare the aged would be kind;
However, see your search be legal;
And your authority-is't regal?
Else you are come on a fool's errand,

With but a secretary's warrant.

Besides, you promised me three warnings,

Which I have looked for nights and mornings;

But for that loss of time and ease I can recover damages."

"I know," cries Death, "that at the best

I seldom am a welcome guest;

But don't be captious, friend, at least;

I little thought you'd still be able
To stump about your farm and stable;
Your years have run to a great length;
I wish you joy, though, of your strength!"

"Hold!" says the farmer, "not so fast!
I have been lame these four years past."
"And no great wonder," Death replies;
66 However, you still keep your eyes;
And, sure to see one's loves and friends,
For legs and arms would make amends."

"Perhaps," says Dodson, "so it might, But latterly I've lost my sight." "This is a shocking tale, 'tis true; But still there's comfort left for you: Each strives your sadness to amuse; I warrant you hear all the news." "There's none," cries he; " and if there were, I'm grown so deaf, I could not hear." "Nay, then," the spectre stern rejoined,

"These are unjustifiable yearnings;

If you are lame, and deaf, and blind,

You've had your three sufficient warnings;

So come along; no more we'll part,"
He said, and touched him with his dart.

And now old Dodson, turning pale,
Yields to his fate. So ends my tale.

W. B. Rhodes

Bombastes Furioso

CHARACTERS

ARTAXOMINOUS, King of Uto- ARMY: A long Drummer, a

pia.

FUSBOS, Minister of State.

GENERAL Bombastes.

ATTENDANTS.

short Fifer, and two (some

times three) Soldiers of different dimensions. DISTAFFINA.

SCENE I. Interior of the Palace.

The KING in his chair of state. A table set out with punchbowl, glasses, pipes, etc. ATTENDANTS on each side.

TRIO-" Tekeli."

1st Atten. What will your Majesty please to wear? Or blue, green, red, black, white, or brown. 2d Atten. D'ye choose to look at the bill of fare?

King.
2d Atten.

(Showing long bill.)

Get out of my sight, or I'll knock you down. Here is soup, fish, or goose, or duck, or fowl,

or pigeons, pig, or hare!

1st Atten. Or blue, or green, or red, or black, or white,

or brown.

What will your Majesty, etc.

King.

Get out of my sight, etc.

(Exeunt ATTENDANTS.)

Enter FUSBOS, and kneels to the KING.

Fusbos. Hail, Artaxominous, yclep'd the Great!
I come, an humble pillar of thy state,

Pregnant with news. But ere that news I tell,
First let me hope your Majesty is well.

King. Rise, learned Fusbos-rise, my friend, and know We are but middling-that is, so, so!

Fusbos. Only so, so! Oh, monstrous, doleful thing! Is it the mulligrubs affects the king?

Or, dropping poisons in the cup of joy,

Do the blue devils your repose annoy?

King. Nor mulligrubs nor devils blue are here,
But yet we feel ourselves a little queer.

Fusbos. Yes, I perceive it in that vacant eye,
The vest unbutton'd, and the wig awry;
So sickly cats neglect their fur-attire,

And sit and mope beside the kitchen fire.

King. Last night, when undisturb'd by state affairs, Moist'ning our clay, and puffing off our cares,

Oft the replenish'd goblet did we drain,

And drank and smok'd, and smok'd and drank again!
Such was the case, our very actions such,

Until at length we got a drop too much.

Fusbos. So when some donkey on the Blackheath Road, Falls, overpower'd, beneath his sandy load;

The driver's curse unheeded swells the air,

Since none can carry more than they can bear.

King. The sapient Doctor Muggins came in haste,

Who suits his physic to his patient's taste;

He, knowing well on what our heart is set,

Hath just prescrib'd, "To take a morning whet ";